Let the Fun Begin!

Our IVF target dates are almost two months away. Yet, the fun begins this week! If you want to know the "ins and outs" of IVF...stay tuned, my friend. In the coming weeks, you will get the low down on what it's really like to go through the process. No hold barred!

My cycle began today (which may be TMI, but you have to know that to understand how the whole thing works). On the third day of the cycle, Dr. Silber's patients begin birth control pills. I know it seems counter-intuitive to ingest something that inhibits pregnancy when you're yearning for a child, but that's how the doctor controls the timeline from here on out. My cycle has to be exactly on target for both the egg retrieval and embryo transfer. That's why the medical team takes control this early. More opportunity to work out any glitches, I suppose.

Starting Wednesday, I take the Desogen for 16 days (to create a "short cycle"). I will also have my blood drawn at St. Luke's to get a baseline reading on my Day 3 hormone levels. My progesterone, HCG and estrogen should be within normal ranges at this point. Friday, I will undergo an ultrasound at Dr. Pineda's office. (Normally IVF patients have the ultrasound completed at the hospital, but my insurance does cover "diagnostic" ultrasounds...so do it this way to avoid unnecessary out-of-pocket expenses. Trust me, there will be no shortage of expenses.) Both the bloodwork and the ultrasound are standard procedures before IVF.

We meet with Dr. Silber on March 14th for a consultation. I plan to ask him how this IVF process will differ from that in December. I'd also like to know how he plans to alter the medication regimen to help produce more high quality eggs. It seemed to me that we should have produced more than two viable embryos when I began with 26 antral follicles. We were hoping to have at least four embryos (two for transfer/implantation and two to freeze for a later date). I'd really like Dr. Silber to make adjustments to enhance the process now that we know how my body responds to the medication.

So that's the medical aspect. The emotional side of this is more difficult for me (and most IVF patients). We're getting ready to undergo a process that has an extremely high cost with about a 50% success rate. That's a bitter pill to swallow. But then again, you can't put a price tag on the life of a child. And we did get pregnant with our first IVF attempt, which is a fact I'll definitely hold onto during the coming weeks. Being positive and relaxed is crucial to success.

This is where you have to have faith. The wondering and worrying can drive you crazy! I read an article today, and I just have to share it. Here's an excerpt from "When Everyone's Pregnant...Except You" by Deborah Bohn on BabyZone:

Dr. Madeline Licker Feingold, PhD, a reproductive medicine psychologist and fertility counselor based in Berkeley, California says, "The level of depression and anxiety in the infertility population is the same as in cancer, heart disease, and HIV-positive patients. Infertility is much more difficult than people may think."

Let's be honest, baby showers, like weddings, can be tedious affairs—it's enough to drive an older mom nuts, so imagine how it feels to someone who's struggling to have a baby of their own. Imagine putting a starving person in a room full of food they're not allowed to eat. It's simply torturous.

I wish I had a dollar for every time someone told me about the friend of their cousin's back in Wichita who tried desperately to have a child, went on to adopt three children, then miraculously got pregnant on her own a few years later. Somehow this miracle baby myth was supposed to give me hope that it could happen for me, too. Well, it didn't give me hope. It made me angry.

And so did all the unsolicited medical advice. I was instructed by people with no medical training whatsoever to prop my legs up after intercourse or make sure my husband wore boxer shorts. But the best one by far . . . the one every childless woman hears is this, "Just relax!" Basically it's implied that we're sexually frigid and that loosening up a little will result in a positive pregnancy test.

"They'd never say something so crazy to a cancer patient!" Dr. Feingold says. She recommends either explaining to the pseudo-physician that you or your husband has a medical condition that no amount of prickly-pear juice or Pilates will cure. Or you can end the conversation on the spot with, "That's fascinating, but I'm working with doctors and considering all the options available to me."

And that's what I'm doing, folks....state-of-the-art in vitro fertilization and old fashioned prayer. I've got a world-renowned IVF specialist overseeing my medical care, and I've got the Lord overseeing my doctor and me! What more could I ask for? So my prayer today is that I will glorify God through this process, and that He will bless us with a child (or two)!

Here's to a healthy pregnancy in May! Bless you, Ramona