Goodbye and Good Riddance!

This has been a tough week of side effects. More than any other medication I've taken in the past years, the Desogen has seriously kicked my butt. It made me feel exhausted and irritable and emotional and ravenously hungry. What a great combination, huh? Here I am trying to get back in shape, and my meds counteract all of my efforts. Thankfully, today was my last pill. Good riddance, nasty Desogen! Tomorrow is my first Lupron injection, and hopefully it will balance out my hormones. I sure hope so!

I have about three weeks to go before my final assisted reproductive treatment. Please pray that the Lord will bless our Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET) and provide us with a healthy child. At this point, we are praying for twins!

Hope your weekend is wonderful! Ramona

Happy Days are Here Again

I feel like myself again! After five days of antibiotics, I am feeling better than I have in weeks. Thank the Lord for modern medicine! Apparently, the intensity of the infection wreaked havoc on my body, zapping my energy level and causing physical and emotional exhaustion. I'm sure some ups and downs are on the horizon due to daily doses of hormones...but right now I'm just thankful to be back to normal.

So far, I haven't noticed any major side effects from the Follistim, Repronex and Lupron rushing through my system. Just abdominal bloating and tenderness at the injection sites. Overall, I've been positive and upbeat all day, even without my afternoon siesta. I don't have much of an appetite, but I don't mind that one iota. I could use a few days of reduced caloric intake to whittle my waistline. I'm going to have ovaries the size of grapefruits in just a week...so I need room to grow. Elastic waistbands, here I come!

I'm feeling hopeful and excited about the possibility of having another child. Yesterday's bloodwork and ultrasound results were right on track, and I had 30 antral follicles (see "Let's Get this Party Started" from Dec. 2006 for more info on this subject). That's more than I had last time, so I'm hopeful for a higher number of eggs on the retrieval date. I go to St. Luke's for monitoring again on Friday morning. I'm praying that the Lord continues to bless this process and the ultimate outcome.

Thank you so much for your support and prayers. I really appreciate every encouraging word! Bless you! Ramona

A Siesta a Day Keeps Heart Disease Away

Not much has changed since my last entry. If I weren't in the midst of treatment, I would suspect that I have chronic fatigue syndrome. All day long, I pine for a nap...but my sleep doesn't result in rejuvenation. I feel lethargic, irritable and unmotivated, even after a full night's sleep. I haven't styled my hair or put on make-up for three days, if that tells you anything. I didn't even check to see who went home on AI last night. Seriously, it's getting bad.

I'm praying for some relief in this area. It's tough to really engage in activities with a toddler when your mind is foggy and your body is exhausted. And being a great mom is very important to me. Hopefully this will just be a short-lived side effect.

Today I mustered enough energy to take Liliana to the Lodge for water follies. She has only been to the pool four times, and she is already very comfortable in the water. Today she put her face in the water and blew bubbles quite a few times. She also swam with a noodle and used her legs to kick to every destination she desired. I was so proud of her! I "ran" laps around her while she practiced swimming. It was so nice to get a little exercise. Afterward, we both napped for three hours.

I am so thankful that Liliana has not given up her afternoon nap. She has always been a good sleeper, and it has been a huge blessing to me. Even science supports my afternoon siestas. A recent Greek study showed that napping is linked to heart health. People who nap three times a week for at least 30 minutes reduce their odds of dying from heart disease by 37%. What a wonderful benefit! I knew it was good for me!

Here's to sleep...restful and refreshing sleep. Blessings, Ramona

My Treatment Intensifies

Treatment Update: For the past eight days, I have been taking Lupron injections along with my typical regimen of Natelle prenatal vitamins and Folgard (for MTHFR enzyme deficiency). I finished the Desogen on April 5th, and my cycle began on Sunday. At this point, everything is right on track for the April 29th target date. The big stuff starts Monday, the 16th--bloodwork, ultrasound and three injections daily.

As for the emotional side of things, I have been experiencing pretty serious mood swings for the past few days. I feel irritable, tense and tired about 75% of the time...but I do have good moments, too. Unfortunately, today was especially rough. I felt as if I had been flattened by a steamroller. My neck and head have been aching like crazy...and all I want to do is lie down and sleep. That doesn't fly with a toddler.

I don't remember feeling this crummy with the first IVF protocol. Hopefully things will improve soon. If not, this will be very a long month.

Although I did not choose to struggle with infertility, I did prayerfully choose IVF. So, I will accept the side effects and hold tight to the hope of a successful outcome. I pray that I will be a blessing to others through this process, no matter what happens.

Have a wonderful day! Ramona

One of Those Weeks

I'm having one of those weeks where it seems like everyone around me in pregnant or giving birth or planning with the full expectation of success. Sometimes I feel completely alone in this infertility struggle. I know it's not true, but I sure feel isolated sometimes. It's so crazy that there are women like me who consider every child to be a miracle and then other women (some of them my previous clients) have several unwanted children all with different daddies. This is just one of those things that is beyond my comprehension.

At the same time life seems so unfair, I also know that God works in all of these situations for good. Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Therefore, even the toughest things in life benefit the Lord's kingdom in some way.

Maybe it's just my mood swing making me sentimental and somewhat negative (yes, the rollercoaster has begun). Either way, I'm having a "down" week. I'll bounce back, not to worry.

Time for my shot. More to come...

The Saga Continues

Today we sadly say goodbye to Grammy and Grandfather, who are ending their week's stay. They have been helpful beyond description, and we have appreciated every minute.

As for the IVF front, the pain in my abdomen is gradually decreasing, while a rash has emerged on my chest. Doc Pineda is tyring to figure out the cause so that it does not grow into a larger problem. I thought it was a minor issue, but he's concerned that it may cause breathing difficulty or anaphylactic shock. The primary suspect is low-dose aspirin, which I began taking yesterday morning (to help thin my blood due to MTHFR deficiency). The Progesterone injections shouldn't be the culprit, since I've already been taking them for a week.

Wade and I are hopeful that two embryos have found a warm place to nestle in for the next nine months. God willing, we'll be sharing good news with you on January 2nd. Until then, I must eat, drink, sleep and act like I'm pregnant so that I create the best environment for my little ones.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support! Ramona

It's All Worth It!

What a blessing it has been to have Dad and Mom Wicht here this week. I am so grateful! Liliana has soaked up every moment with them: pretending to cook jambalaya and ettoufe', playing with little people for hours and reading books in very dramatic fashion. Although she relishes the attention of the family, she definitely knows that something is awry. She has given Mommy the cold shoulder and tested limits more than ever. Toddlers are very perceptive.

The pain has intensified since yesterday morning. Whew! I didn't realize that I'd be totally out of commission for a few days. In addition to the post-op discomfort, I have a new side effect: sore and bruised hips from Progesterone injections. Because the Progesterone is in oil and injected IM, the shots make their presence known. But as I keep repeating, it's all worth it!

Wednesday morning at 7:30am is the embryo transfer. As usual, I am required to be there at 6:00am (most of you know that I am not exactly a morning person, so this is no treat). At least I'll be too tired to be anything but calm. We don't know the specifics, but we do know that fertilization occurred. The Dream Team will give us all of the details (i.e., how many embryos were fertilized and how many remain viable) Wednesday morning. Please keep praying for many viable embryos.

I know I've said it many times, but I have to thank you for taking a moment out of your busy holiday schedule to read this post and to pray for us. You are part of the reason this journey has been so rewarding and pleasant.

God bless you! Ramona

It is Well

"Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body." -Elizabeth Stone

Any loving parent would say this is true. And for me, having a child was the best decision I've ever made. There is nothing more challenging and rewarding than parenthood. That's why I'm so willing to go through the pain and discomfort of IVF.

So far, the process has been a bit of a rollercoaster, but nothing unbearable. It would be much easier if I weren't battling this upper respiratory infection. Today I have the abdomen (and the waddle) of a woman in her 2nd trimester. Bending over is tough and chasing a toddler is out of the question. We have called in the parental troops to help us get through the next week.

In addition to taking two oral medications and three meds by injection, I go to St. Luke's Hospital each morning for bloodwork and ultrasound monitoring. You know it's your 2nd home when the nurses and technicians greet you by name.

At this point, follicle stimulation is going smoothly. A great number of follicles are reaching maturity, and my hormone levels are in the normal range. Now the big question is when the egg aspiration and embryo transfer will take place. I should know the dates & times by this afternoon.

Thanks for continuing to lift us up in prayer. It is so evident that God is blessing this process. Now let's pray He grants us a pregnancy!

Bless you! Ramona

Welcome to the IVF Rollercoaster

I awoke this morning to the alarm of cramping and heavy bleeding. The nurse at Dr. Silber's office told me that we should be able to locate the cause during my ultrasound Friday morning. In the meantime, I am supposed to continue with the medication regimen. Although the nurse told me "not to be too concerned," I don't have a good feeling about this (yes, I know feelings can't always be trusted). I am concerned that whatever is causing this bleeding may result in the cancellation of our IVF. If that happens, the procedure will be postponed indefinitely, and we will lose a great deal of time and money.

I guess I have just embarked on the emotional rollercoaster of IVF. I must say that I didn't expect for it to take such a dramatic turn right out of the gate. Even though I feel anxious about this complication, I know that God is in control and that His plan is better than anything I could devise. Please pray that the cause of the bleeding is not serious and that the IVF process would continue and be successful. Also, pray that God will grant me peace of mind and stamina to take care of Liliana and the many items on my "to do" list.

Thanks for your support!
Blessings,
Ramona

Tender Moments

This day was filled with sweet moments. This morning, Liliana helped me with holiday baking. She stood on a chair next to me and mixed ingredients together as I poured them into the bowl. She was so precious with a big spoon in her hand and batter on her tiny fingers. Later, my little helper was also very eager to do laundry. I started the water and added detergent while she threw each piece of clothing high in the air, hoping it would drop into the washing machine. When it came time to fold clothes, she thought it would be fun to hide under the piles and "try on" Mommy and Daddy's articles. Although it wasn't the most efficient laundry session I've ever experienced, it was definitely comical and memorable.

On to IVF: After two evenings of running a virtual pharmacy out of our home, I'm feeling pretty comfortable with vials and needles. With the rate I'm going through syringes and supplies, I suppose we ought to get one of those handy sharps disposal containers.

Someone mentioned that hot flashes may be a side effect of the meds, but I haven't experienced anything like that (I have had them on Progesterone, however). Instead of anything mood related today, vivid and strange dreams disturbed my sleep. I awoke this morning feeling as if I slept 3 hours. And then, after a short afternoon nap (which is a must after spending the day on high alert with my wild and wacky two-year-old), I felt like I had been flattened by a steamroller. My mind was awake, but I couldn't move my body for quite some time. I spent the remainder of the evening pining for Zzzzzs. All in all, it wasn't bad for the first day adjusting to heavy doses of hormones. I look forward to seeing what's in store for tomorrow!

Oh, I would be remiss if I didn't mention that Wade was very sweet this evening in the midst of my exhaustion. He hand-delivered Christmas cards to our neighbors for me and made omelettes for dinner. He's so generous!

I'm going turn in now. Yes, 10:00pm is very early for a night-owl like me.

Many blessings to you,
Ramona