I haven't been myself since our last miscarriage. After weeks of "the blues," sleep issues, and a host of other symptoms, I've come to the difficult realization that my body is not snapping back to normal like it has in the past. It's hard to admit, especially here.
I don't know whether these negative effects are a result of the fourth miscarriage or the combined & cumulative effects of the fertility treatments, pregnancies and losses. Either way, my physiological balance is definitely out of tune.
As a mental health professional who strives to be healthy (and teaches other to do the same), I know all of the tips and tricks for improving mood. And, rest assured, I'm implementing every single one of them. I'll soon be back to normal, so please bear with me during the ups and downs of this tune-up. Your prayers and support are treasured.
Blessings,
Ramona
Showing posts with label Chronic Miscarriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chronic Miscarriage. Show all posts
Saturday, March 08, 2008
Thursday, March 06, 2008
My Thoughts Don't Fit Into Words
God understands our prayers, even when we can't find words to say them. Thank goodness. I'm having one of those days.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Reaching Closure
Wednesday was my post-miscarriage follow-up exam. According to Dr. Pineda, it appears that the healing process has begun. He sent me to the lab for a pregnancy test (of all things!) to check my hormone levels. When the HCG value drops to below five, it's considered to be "negative." I received the results yesterday, and my level was exactly five (thank you, Murphy). So I have to go back and have another blood draw this week to make sure it goes down one little point!
Although I'm not thrilled to donate more blood, I'm thankful to be on the road to recovery. Once the medical issues are cleared up (including the pathology report we have yet to receive), we will be able to close this chapter and completely focus on the present. That will be nice.
Once things get back to normal (about two months), I plan to leave Dr. Pineda's care and return to my original doc. Since we now know that it's possible to conceive naturally, we see no need to continue with a specialist. After hearing from hundreds of couples and experiencing five years of fertility treatments, I firmly believe that the term "unexplained" in the diagnosis of unexplained infertility means "there's no medical explanation, because it's in God' hands."
It's all in God's hands! Blessings,
Ramona
Although I'm not thrilled to donate more blood, I'm thankful to be on the road to recovery. Once the medical issues are cleared up (including the pathology report we have yet to receive), we will be able to close this chapter and completely focus on the present. That will be nice.
Once things get back to normal (about two months), I plan to leave Dr. Pineda's care and return to my original doc. Since we now know that it's possible to conceive naturally, we see no need to continue with a specialist. After hearing from hundreds of couples and experiencing five years of fertility treatments, I firmly believe that the term "unexplained" in the diagnosis of unexplained infertility means "there's no medical explanation, because it's in God' hands."
It's all in God's hands! Blessings,
Ramona
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Recovering
My mind is foggy from pain and lack of sleep, but I want to express our deep gratitude for your ongoing prayers and support. The surgery was successful, and we're hoping that the pathology report yields information that helps us understand and treat my recurrent miscarriages.
In His grip,
Ramona
In His grip,
Ramona
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
New Year's Day
I should have written this morning when I was counting my blessings and dancing around the house, singing "Happy New Year!" But a couple hours ago, I was quickly jolted into a downward emotional spiral--thanks to the raging hormones that accompany miscarriage.
This is not my best hour. I'm so sad and disappointed and frustrated, partly due to losing another child and partly due to the poor timing. After 11 days of looming, the unwelcome event happens on New Year's Day. Come on, no one wants to start the new year with a miscarriage.
Part of me feels like I should just minimize the grief of this whole thing and focus on the blessings in my life. After all, there are so many things for which I am thankful. But the counselor in me knows the importance of allowing myself to "go there"--to experience the emotions in order for healing and closure to occur. So I'm going there, and it's not fun.
I guess this is a poignant reminder that we should expect real life every day--that holidays are not exempt from the brokenness of the world. It is a reminder that we need God all of the time. Of course, I already knew these things, but now I'm painfully aware.
And as I sit here--writing, reading, editing and experiencing the ebb and flow of emotion--I notice glimmers of joy and hope trying to push through the sorrow. I feel the hand of God holding me close, assuring me that everything will be alright. And as difficult as it is to lose a ninth child, I trust that this plan is good and His timing is perfect.
Romans 8:18 says: I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.
Here's to future glory. ~Ramona
This is not my best hour. I'm so sad and disappointed and frustrated, partly due to losing another child and partly due to the poor timing. After 11 days of looming, the unwelcome event happens on New Year's Day. Come on, no one wants to start the new year with a miscarriage.
Part of me feels like I should just minimize the grief of this whole thing and focus on the blessings in my life. After all, there are so many things for which I am thankful. But the counselor in me knows the importance of allowing myself to "go there"--to experience the emotions in order for healing and closure to occur. So I'm going there, and it's not fun.
I guess this is a poignant reminder that we should expect real life every day--that holidays are not exempt from the brokenness of the world. It is a reminder that we need God all of the time. Of course, I already knew these things, but now I'm painfully aware.
And as I sit here--writing, reading, editing and experiencing the ebb and flow of emotion--I notice glimmers of joy and hope trying to push through the sorrow. I feel the hand of God holding me close, assuring me that everything will be alright. And as difficult as it is to lose a ninth child, I trust that this plan is good and His timing is perfect.
Romans 8:18 says: I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.
Here's to future glory. ~Ramona
Monday, September 10, 2007
Not One of My Better Days
This is a difficult day for me. September 10th, 2007 was the due date for the precious baby we lost in February. I've been aware of the approaching date, but I honestly didn't think it would hit me so hard. That's one of the toughest things about suffering a miscarriage. You just don't know how you'll be feeling one day to the next. You believe you're making good progress, and Bam! Something triggers the grief, and it's waterworks all over again.
I'm so ready for another child to become a part of our family, but all I can do is wait. It's very stressful for an achiever-type to sit on her hands and do nothing. Even though I'm ready to dive into the adoption process head-first, my husband isn't there yet. And we both have to be on the same page before we proceed. In the meantime, I've been working to prepare our home for a second child...but I'm feeling discouraged today. My heart tells me, "Press on and stay faithful." But my mind says, "Just give up."
And then I feel guilty for feeling bad when we have so many blessings in our lives...especially sweet Liliana. But I can't shake this longing. I know that our family is incomplete, and I feel led to adopt. Why would God give me this great desire for adoption without the ability to do something about it? I'm tired of waiting.
Well, as you can tell, this is not my best day. I hesitate to publish these kinds of journal entries, because they're not pretty. But I've promised to be real. So here it is, folks. I'm sad, discouraged and officially human.
I know the Lord hears my cries, and I know He loves me. I will feel better tomorrow.
Praying for strength, comfort and wisdom. ~Ramona
I'm so ready for another child to become a part of our family, but all I can do is wait. It's very stressful for an achiever-type to sit on her hands and do nothing. Even though I'm ready to dive into the adoption process head-first, my husband isn't there yet. And we both have to be on the same page before we proceed. In the meantime, I've been working to prepare our home for a second child...but I'm feeling discouraged today. My heart tells me, "Press on and stay faithful." But my mind says, "Just give up."
And then I feel guilty for feeling bad when we have so many blessings in our lives...especially sweet Liliana. But I can't shake this longing. I know that our family is incomplete, and I feel led to adopt. Why would God give me this great desire for adoption without the ability to do something about it? I'm tired of waiting.
Well, as you can tell, this is not my best day. I hesitate to publish these kinds of journal entries, because they're not pretty. But I've promised to be real. So here it is, folks. I'm sad, discouraged and officially human.
I know the Lord hears my cries, and I know He loves me. I will feel better tomorrow.
Praying for strength, comfort and wisdom. ~Ramona
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Chromosome Analysis Results
We finally received the results of the fetal chromosome analysis. Our baby was a female with normal chromosomal characteristics. What does this mean? Basically, we have no idea why the miscarriage occurred. With all of the modern technology available to the medical team, no abnormalities have been discovered. The only thing we understand is that--of the hundreds of factors that must be exactly right for during conception and development-- something seems to go wrong for us almost every time.
This news is both frustrating and encouraging for me. On one hand, there is no explanation for our infertility and my chronic miscarriages. It's difficult to continue trying, knowing that we may not have any success. It's also painful to know that we lost a little girl. Knowing the gender makes the whole thing more real and personal. I think that's the hardest part for me.
On the other hand, however, I am relieved and encouraged that no abnormalities were found. At least there is nothing genetic causing our problems. Now we need to see what Drs. Silber and Pineda plan to do in order to increase our chances for success.
We meet with Silber at 1:30pm. I'll share the information from our appointment later today.
Hope you have a wonderful Wednesday! Ramona
This news is both frustrating and encouraging for me. On one hand, there is no explanation for our infertility and my chronic miscarriages. It's difficult to continue trying, knowing that we may not have any success. It's also painful to know that we lost a little girl. Knowing the gender makes the whole thing more real and personal. I think that's the hardest part for me.
On the other hand, however, I am relieved and encouraged that no abnormalities were found. At least there is nothing genetic causing our problems. Now we need to see what Drs. Silber and Pineda plan to do in order to increase our chances for success.
We meet with Silber at 1:30pm. I'll share the information from our appointment later today.
Hope you have a wonderful Wednesday! Ramona
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Helpful Information about Miscarriage
I found this article a couple weeks ago, and found it to be a quite accurate description with appropriate advice. It wasn't copyrighted, but I'll add the credits when I find the site again. I thought it would be helpful for those who would like to understand what it's like for people who experience a miscarriage. It's a good follow-up to yesterday's post about my difficulty attending a baby shower. Here goes:
The death of an unborn baby is a unique loss that involves unique grief. After a miscarriage, many women describe a great sense of emptiness. Ultrasound pictures may be the only tangible evidence that you have to document that you “really were pregnant.”
Because technology today allows women to know very early on when they are pregnant, the bonding process starts early. Dreams and fantasizes begin as you imagine your life with a baby. Yet with a miscarriage, there is often nothing tangible to grieve. It is an invisible loss.
You may dream and fantasize about being pregnant for weeks after the loss. Anger and depression are common, and questions such as, "Why me?" may surface. It is common to want answers even though none may exist. Anger may be directed at the doctor, feeling that he or she could have done more or at least have been more concerned.
Guilt is one of the most common post-miscarriage feelings. You may wonder if something you did caused the event. Many women ask, "Did I exercise too much?” or, “What did I eat that might have caused this?" In truth, such factors are rarely, if ever, the cause of a miscarriage.
When you have had a miscarriage you need to grieve several things: the baby, the pregnancy and your hopes and dreams about how this pregnancy would have changed your life. This is particularly hard to do when the loss occurs early in the pregnancy. There may have been few physical changes, and only a few family members or friends aware that you were pregnant. If the loss occurred later in a pregnancy, you may have something tangible to help you grieve, such as ultrasound pictures and celebration cards or you may have felt the baby move.
Grief takes time; it peaks and fades. Certain events can trigger its intensity such as going back to work, getting your period, making love again, and anniversaries of the miscarriage and birth date. Often grief is triggered by holidays such as Mother’s Day or Father’s Day or when a friend gives birth.
Grief has several stages. The initial feelings are usually shock and denial followed by the feelings of being out of control and very vulnerable, including thoughts about your own death and how short life is. Anger, irritability and mood swings are very normal. Sadness, loneliness and emptiness may be intense, and depression is not uncommon. Feelings about other losses may resurface. If these feelings impact your sleeping, eating, working and ability to cope everyday, seeing a therapist is important and helpful.
Men and women often react differently to the trauma of a miscarriage. Many men feel they must be strong and protect their wives from their own feelings of loss and sadness. Others are more concerned about the medical and emotional health of their wife and spend much of their energy trying to “make it better.” Society tends to reinforce this; often others only ask how the woman is doing, not the expectant father. In most cases it helps if a man can show his sadness to his partner.
It will not make her feel worse and will lessen any sense of isolation or feelings that this was more important to her than to him. If a husband avoids the topic the wife may feel that he is emotionally abandoning her. Remember that you may each react in individual ways; one may be actively grieving while the other gives support and later the roles may reverse. Talk about what is the hardest part for each of you, and tell your partner what they can do to help you through this difficult time. Grief is a lonely and individual experience, but you can support and not judge each other as you navigate the waves of sadness, anger and vulnerability of grief.
Talking about how to memorialize the loss of your baby and pregnancy can be helpful. Suggestions from other couples include: plant a shrub or tree; place a special stone in your garden; write a poem or share your written thoughts; buy a piece of jewelry with the baby’s birthstone; or make a donation in acknowledgment of the loss.
Following a miscarriage, you may be surprised at how envious and jealous you are of woman who are pregnant or who are parenting. You may feel like a bad person when these feelings erupt but you need to understand that this is a common response following a pregnancy loss. You will not always feel this way, but for a time you may need to protect yourself from situations that increase your pain or envy.
Family and friends often will unknowingly say all the wrong things to a couple who has recently lost a pregnancy. Society has no rituals to address this kind of loss or to acknowledge the couple's grief. With an early miscarriage they may have been unaware that you were pregnant and may just focus on that. If you have another child at home they may say you are lucky to have at least one. Others may say it was nature’s way of preventing a child with defects from being born. They may tell you were lucky to get pregnant and after a certain amount of time expect you to “get over it.”
None of these responses are comforting when you have lost a longed-for child. Often people are embarrassed and don’t know how to address others’ feelings of sadness. They may feel uncomfortable talking about intimate feelings or it may set off some personal feelings of loss. It is important you select people to talk with who will be supportive and understanding. If people say unhelpful things, be direct and say, “We lost a baby and we need you to understand how awful this is for us.”
If you have other children, this can be a confusing and frightening time for them. If you were hospitalized it is important to reassure them that are better now, and if they see you emotional tell them that it is because you are sad. Young children need to be reassured that you love and treasure them. If they are old enough to know that you were pregnant, they need to be told that the baby will not be coming. Your explanations will be different depending on their ages, to meet their level of understanding.
Just as it took time to adjust to the idea of being pregnant, it may take time to adjust to the non-pregnant state. There is a tendency for people to feel that they must get on with life and not focus on sad events and feelings. But, in truth, grieving is a process and healing is a process; with them, emotions ebb and flow. On some days or weeks you may feel fine; on others, you may feel sad and depressed. Allow yourself to go through the various stages, and surround yourself with supportive and encouraging people.
Your miscarriage may cause you to wonder if and when you will ever be able to have a child. The answer to this question may cause completely new sorrow and a life-long grief process. Seek the wisdom of medical professionals to learn your options, and consider counseling to help you through the decision-making process. Just remember: you are not alone. There are many support networks available online and in your community.
The death of an unborn baby is a unique loss that involves unique grief. After a miscarriage, many women describe a great sense of emptiness. Ultrasound pictures may be the only tangible evidence that you have to document that you “really were pregnant.”
Because technology today allows women to know very early on when they are pregnant, the bonding process starts early. Dreams and fantasizes begin as you imagine your life with a baby. Yet with a miscarriage, there is often nothing tangible to grieve. It is an invisible loss.
You may dream and fantasize about being pregnant for weeks after the loss. Anger and depression are common, and questions such as, "Why me?" may surface. It is common to want answers even though none may exist. Anger may be directed at the doctor, feeling that he or she could have done more or at least have been more concerned.
Guilt is one of the most common post-miscarriage feelings. You may wonder if something you did caused the event. Many women ask, "Did I exercise too much?” or, “What did I eat that might have caused this?" In truth, such factors are rarely, if ever, the cause of a miscarriage.
When you have had a miscarriage you need to grieve several things: the baby, the pregnancy and your hopes and dreams about how this pregnancy would have changed your life. This is particularly hard to do when the loss occurs early in the pregnancy. There may have been few physical changes, and only a few family members or friends aware that you were pregnant. If the loss occurred later in a pregnancy, you may have something tangible to help you grieve, such as ultrasound pictures and celebration cards or you may have felt the baby move.
Grief takes time; it peaks and fades. Certain events can trigger its intensity such as going back to work, getting your period, making love again, and anniversaries of the miscarriage and birth date. Often grief is triggered by holidays such as Mother’s Day or Father’s Day or when a friend gives birth.
Grief has several stages. The initial feelings are usually shock and denial followed by the feelings of being out of control and very vulnerable, including thoughts about your own death and how short life is. Anger, irritability and mood swings are very normal. Sadness, loneliness and emptiness may be intense, and depression is not uncommon. Feelings about other losses may resurface. If these feelings impact your sleeping, eating, working and ability to cope everyday, seeing a therapist is important and helpful.
Men and women often react differently to the trauma of a miscarriage. Many men feel they must be strong and protect their wives from their own feelings of loss and sadness. Others are more concerned about the medical and emotional health of their wife and spend much of their energy trying to “make it better.” Society tends to reinforce this; often others only ask how the woman is doing, not the expectant father. In most cases it helps if a man can show his sadness to his partner.
It will not make her feel worse and will lessen any sense of isolation or feelings that this was more important to her than to him. If a husband avoids the topic the wife may feel that he is emotionally abandoning her. Remember that you may each react in individual ways; one may be actively grieving while the other gives support and later the roles may reverse. Talk about what is the hardest part for each of you, and tell your partner what they can do to help you through this difficult time. Grief is a lonely and individual experience, but you can support and not judge each other as you navigate the waves of sadness, anger and vulnerability of grief.
Talking about how to memorialize the loss of your baby and pregnancy can be helpful. Suggestions from other couples include: plant a shrub or tree; place a special stone in your garden; write a poem or share your written thoughts; buy a piece of jewelry with the baby’s birthstone; or make a donation in acknowledgment of the loss.
Following a miscarriage, you may be surprised at how envious and jealous you are of woman who are pregnant or who are parenting. You may feel like a bad person when these feelings erupt but you need to understand that this is a common response following a pregnancy loss. You will not always feel this way, but for a time you may need to protect yourself from situations that increase your pain or envy.
Family and friends often will unknowingly say all the wrong things to a couple who has recently lost a pregnancy. Society has no rituals to address this kind of loss or to acknowledge the couple's grief. With an early miscarriage they may have been unaware that you were pregnant and may just focus on that. If you have another child at home they may say you are lucky to have at least one. Others may say it was nature’s way of preventing a child with defects from being born. They may tell you were lucky to get pregnant and after a certain amount of time expect you to “get over it.”
None of these responses are comforting when you have lost a longed-for child. Often people are embarrassed and don’t know how to address others’ feelings of sadness. They may feel uncomfortable talking about intimate feelings or it may set off some personal feelings of loss. It is important you select people to talk with who will be supportive and understanding. If people say unhelpful things, be direct and say, “We lost a baby and we need you to understand how awful this is for us.”
If you have other children, this can be a confusing and frightening time for them. If you were hospitalized it is important to reassure them that are better now, and if they see you emotional tell them that it is because you are sad. Young children need to be reassured that you love and treasure them. If they are old enough to know that you were pregnant, they need to be told that the baby will not be coming. Your explanations will be different depending on their ages, to meet their level of understanding.
Just as it took time to adjust to the idea of being pregnant, it may take time to adjust to the non-pregnant state. There is a tendency for people to feel that they must get on with life and not focus on sad events and feelings. But, in truth, grieving is a process and healing is a process; with them, emotions ebb and flow. On some days or weeks you may feel fine; on others, you may feel sad and depressed. Allow yourself to go through the various stages, and surround yourself with supportive and encouraging people.
Your miscarriage may cause you to wonder if and when you will ever be able to have a child. The answer to this question may cause completely new sorrow and a life-long grief process. Seek the wisdom of medical professionals to learn your options, and consider counseling to help you through the decision-making process. Just remember: you are not alone. There are many support networks available online and in your community.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
In the Valley
For several months now, I have felt a strong spiritual call to share my journey...primarily so that others may see the grace and glory of God in my life. It was for that reason I created this blog. I must admit that the entire process has been challenging, mainly because being so open and transparent does not come naturally for me. I have found that one takes many risks in making her life an open book, and there is a great deal of consideration that must go into each entry. Despite the difficult aspects, however, sharing my life with you has been therapeutic and rewarding beyond my expectations. Thank you for your support and encouragement.
It is with an especially heavy heart that write today. Our pregnancy has come to an end, and Wade and I are mourning the loss of yet another child. Today should have marked my 7th week of pregnancy, but this morning's ultrasound showed that our baby's development stopped at 5 weeks, 6 days. The previous ultrasound was accurate, and today's scan was confirmation.
Because this is our third miscarriage, Dr. Pineda urged us to proceed with genetic testing for ourselves and the fetus. I am scheduled for a suction dilation and curettage (D&C) tomorrow at St. Luke's. The tissue will be removed and sent to a lab for testing. Hopefully we will learn the cause of this loss and know if there is a genetic component that is at the root the miscarriages.
Losing a child is painful beyond description. I am filled with great sadness and disappointment, accompanied by a profound longing. I feel guilt, shame and a sense that I am somehow less of a woman because I have so much difficulty conceiving and carrying a child. It is distressing to realize that I have been pregnant four times, and I have just one child.
And even while my heart is aching, I understand that this is the refining fire that builds our character and gives us strength. I know that many unexpected blessings will result from this trial.
My life is already so richly blessed. I have been entrusted with a beautiful daughter, and I am fortunate enough to experience the gift of motherhood each and every day. I am married to my best friend, a supportive and loving man who is by my side every moment. And I am blessed with a terrific family and encouraging friends. There are so many reasons for me to be grateful.
Also, I know in my heart that this is God's plan for us. God is good and His timing is always perfect. He knew the deepest desires of our hearts and heard many prayers on our behalf; yet, He still allowed this to happen. Therefore, I know this was meant to be...and I give thanks to the God who gives and takes away. Further, I am certain that the Lord has something absolutely wonderful in store for us. My trust is unshaken, and my faith is stronger than ever before.
Today I grieve the loss of a third child, yet I also rest in God's promises and look forward to a brighter tomorrow.
It is with an especially heavy heart that write today. Our pregnancy has come to an end, and Wade and I are mourning the loss of yet another child. Today should have marked my 7th week of pregnancy, but this morning's ultrasound showed that our baby's development stopped at 5 weeks, 6 days. The previous ultrasound was accurate, and today's scan was confirmation.
Because this is our third miscarriage, Dr. Pineda urged us to proceed with genetic testing for ourselves and the fetus. I am scheduled for a suction dilation and curettage (D&C) tomorrow at St. Luke's. The tissue will be removed and sent to a lab for testing. Hopefully we will learn the cause of this loss and know if there is a genetic component that is at the root the miscarriages.
Losing a child is painful beyond description. I am filled with great sadness and disappointment, accompanied by a profound longing. I feel guilt, shame and a sense that I am somehow less of a woman because I have so much difficulty conceiving and carrying a child. It is distressing to realize that I have been pregnant four times, and I have just one child.
And even while my heart is aching, I understand that this is the refining fire that builds our character and gives us strength. I know that many unexpected blessings will result from this trial.
My life is already so richly blessed. I have been entrusted with a beautiful daughter, and I am fortunate enough to experience the gift of motherhood each and every day. I am married to my best friend, a supportive and loving man who is by my side every moment. And I am blessed with a terrific family and encouraging friends. There are so many reasons for me to be grateful.
Also, I know in my heart that this is God's plan for us. God is good and His timing is always perfect. He knew the deepest desires of our hearts and heard many prayers on our behalf; yet, He still allowed this to happen. Therefore, I know this was meant to be...and I give thanks to the God who gives and takes away. Further, I am certain that the Lord has something absolutely wonderful in store for us. My trust is unshaken, and my faith is stronger than ever before.
Today I grieve the loss of a third child, yet I also rest in God's promises and look forward to a brighter tomorrow.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
HOPEFUL
Wade and I have been married for four years. Throughout that time, we have experienced countless blessings together. Although we've had our share of trials, our years have been quite beautiful. As our love has grown stronger, so grows our dream of a home filled with the laughter of children. Unfortunately, we have come to realize that having a large family may not be in God's plan for us. Early in our marriage we were diagnosed with unexplained infertility. We yearned for a child and experienced a great deal of grief and disappointment each month that passed with no result. After undergoing fertility treatments for over a year and enduring a miscarriage, we were finally blessed with a precious daughter in 2004.
At this point, we have been "trying" for almost two years, with another miscarriage in 2005. Two years may not seem like a long time, but specialists in this field agree that a woman of my age (34) should conceive within one year. We have been working with a highly regarded specialist since January, 2006, and we have exhausted every treatment option except for In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). After much prayer and deliberation, we have decided to undergo IVF. We are currently scheduled for the procedures (egg retrieval and embryo transfer) on December 17 and 20th, respectively. We are very fortunate that our IVF specialist is considered one of the best in the world, and his medical center is located here in St. Louis at St. Luke's Hospital.
IVF is a very intense process. It can be (and usually is) emotionally and physically taxing, and the financial strain is almost overwhelming for a family on a budget. For those of you who don't know, IVF is very expensive ($14-18,000, depending on the medication needs) with around a 50% chance for success. It is a huge risk, but we know it will be worth it. I wouldn't trade my Liliana for the world, and we already feel that way about future children.
I have already begun taking oral and injectable medications to get my cycle aligned with the target dates. On Dec. 4th, I begin two more meds which will stimulate follicle (egg) growth. Daily monitoring by ultrasound and bloodwork begins on Dec. 8th. [Forgive me if this is TMI (too much information), but it comes with the territory. I am now an expert in a field I never intended to master.] I will try to provide daily updates on this site--for both informational and cathartic purposes. Feel free to leave comments, questions and words of encouragement! So far, my emotions have been steady...but I know from months past that the hormones can send me on an emotional rollercoaster. Poor Wade! He has been so supportive and loving throughout this trial. I thank the Lord for him every day.
Thank you for joining me in this process. Your thoughts and well-wishes are truly appreciated!
Blessings,
Ramona
At this point, we have been "trying" for almost two years, with another miscarriage in 2005. Two years may not seem like a long time, but specialists in this field agree that a woman of my age (34) should conceive within one year. We have been working with a highly regarded specialist since January, 2006, and we have exhausted every treatment option except for In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). After much prayer and deliberation, we have decided to undergo IVF. We are currently scheduled for the procedures (egg retrieval and embryo transfer) on December 17 and 20th, respectively. We are very fortunate that our IVF specialist is considered one of the best in the world, and his medical center is located here in St. Louis at St. Luke's Hospital.
IVF is a very intense process. It can be (and usually is) emotionally and physically taxing, and the financial strain is almost overwhelming for a family on a budget. For those of you who don't know, IVF is very expensive ($14-18,000, depending on the medication needs) with around a 50% chance for success. It is a huge risk, but we know it will be worth it. I wouldn't trade my Liliana for the world, and we already feel that way about future children.
I have already begun taking oral and injectable medications to get my cycle aligned with the target dates. On Dec. 4th, I begin two more meds which will stimulate follicle (egg) growth. Daily monitoring by ultrasound and bloodwork begins on Dec. 8th. [Forgive me if this is TMI (too much information), but it comes with the territory. I am now an expert in a field I never intended to master.] I will try to provide daily updates on this site--for both informational and cathartic purposes. Feel free to leave comments, questions and words of encouragement! So far, my emotions have been steady...but I know from months past that the hormones can send me on an emotional rollercoaster. Poor Wade! He has been so supportive and loving throughout this trial. I thank the Lord for him every day.
Thank you for joining me in this process. Your thoughts and well-wishes are truly appreciated!
Blessings,
Ramona
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