Cautiously Optimistic

It's been a tight race, folks, but optimism finally pulls ahead of caution and takes the lead! For the past couple of days, I have been experiencing waves of nausea, coupled with heartburn and breast tenderness. What others might label ailments, I call, "Yeah, baby!"

I am very encouraged and hopeful that my body is displaying signs of pregnancy. However, I must continue to remain somewhat guarded, because I know it's possible to wish these symptoms into reality. After my April IVF, I had nausea for a week, and I wasn't pregnant. The mind is a very powerful thing.

Praying for a real, healthy pregnancy! ~Ramona

Ups and Downs

I've been struggling with musculoskeletal problems since college, when springboard diving finally took it's toll on my back. Later, two motor vehicle accidents (neither my fault!) rocked my already injured body and ensured lifelong ups and downs on the pain scale. Yesterday and today have been two of the tougher days. My head, shoulders and neck have been aching, to the point that survival has been my primary goal.

This morning, I spent several hours on the sofa, battling a massive migraine. I could barely function, even with earplugs muffling the sound and a blanket blocking the light. All I could do was listen to Liliana as she played with blocks and stickers. My pain was almost unbearable, and made worse by the fact that I couldn't interact with my baby at all. So frustrating. What I wouldn't give to be trade this 34-year-old body in for a newer model!

On a positive note, I am feeling much better right now. Additionally, I have experienced some nausea, heartburn and soreness that could be attributed to pregnancy. However, the nausea could also be associated with the headaches, and the other symptoms are nothing to get excited about. With seven days to go, I remain cautiously optimistic. The days continue to crawl by, and I wait and hope...and pray, pray, pray for the desires of our hearts.

Blessings, Ramona

Waiting

Other than a sore, knotted backside (due to hefty progesterone shots), I haven't experienced any significant changes since the FET. I've had a few tinges of pain in my abdomen each day...but nothing major. Every day, I wake up hoping for nausea and a sore chest, but no such luck. When I was pregnant with Liliana, I didn't experience morning sickness until 5 weeks. With the rest of my pregnancies, nausea came very early.

Once again, the two-week wait seems endless. My beta hCG test is scheduled for Monday, July 30th. We're praying for a double pregnancy!

Have a great weekend! ~Ramona

Adjusting to Change

Liliana loves to clean her pearly whites with her new "Dora the Explorer" electric toothbrush. This little item has transformed our brushing routine from "Do I have to?" to "May I please!" She absolutely loves the sensation...and it doesn't hurt to have Dora, Boots and Backpack on the handle. Once again, I shout, "Hooray for modern technology!"

My sweet girl has been having a rough time adjusting to Mommy's absences and diminished ability to play. Since Liliana has a difficult time identifying and labeling her feelings (as all 2-year-olds do), she has been acting out in dramatic fashion. As much as I adore my daughter, I was relieved when bedtime finally arrived last night. She gave all of us a run for our money yesterday.

It is clear that the past few days has been bittersweet for Liliana. On one hand, she has spent a great deal of time with her beloved Grammy and Grandfather. But on the other, her world has been turned upside down. For all of her life, Mommy has been there 24/7; and now, Mommy isn't available all of the time. She has been trying to make sense of it, and we've all suffered the consequences. Hopefully things will go right back to normal when I finish recuperating. I have a feeling she'll bounce right back.

As far as my recovery goes, I continue to experience sharp pain in the area of my ovaries. They are still in the process of healing from the egg retrieval. I had a few mild pains in my abdomen this morning, and I've been praying that they were due to embryo implantation. The implantation process may occur any time this week, usually around this point. Time to pray, pray, pray!

Here's to a warm, snugly place for my embryos! Enjoy your Wednesday, Ramona

On Your Mark, Get Set...

Tonight was my first in a series of dozens of injections. It really was no big deal. I'm what you'd call an old dog in the world of infertility, and giving shots is not a new trick. Even though I've done this before, we're still required to participate in a "refresher course" on administering injections. That will be our exciting family outing tomorrow morning. After that appointment, we'll traipse upstairs to Dr. Silber's office and tearfully part with a large sum of money.

So far, this has been a slow process. Think of cold, thick molasses. I'm trying to keep my thoughts occupied with other things so that I am not consumed by the IVF process. Right now I'm pretty ill with some sort of upper respiratory infection, so my mind is actively solving the dilemma of how to rest when neither nostril is functioning. When I'm not focused on treating my list of symptoms, I'm currently dealing with important neighborhood issues (Wade and I are trustees of our subdivision). I'm also gearing up for an exciting trip to see family in Indiana. And, as always, taking care of my husband and daughter is number one.

I have a feeling that the next month is going to feel like a year. The most difficult aspects are dealing with the unknown variables and waiting to see if the IVF was a success. We will do our best to rest in God and put all of the details in His hands.

May you be richly blessed during this holy week, Ramona

Excitement is Building

Hooray for nausea and headache! This is the third day of all-day sickness, which is exactly what I experienced during my three pregnancies. I can't help but think the IVF must have been a success. I am trying to remain calm and collected, but what else could explain the list of symptoms I'm experiencing? I'm getting more excited with each passing day of discomfort.

Tuesday will be the first pregnancy test. Apparently, many false-positives and false-negatives occur during the testing process (due to all of the hormones injected throughout the cycle), so I will repeat the test on Thursday. Right now, I can't imagine that it would be negative...but then again, I've had nothing but difficult news for the last two years. Infertility is tough--tougher than most people imagine. Right now, however, I can rest in the Lord and enjoy the hope of children in 2007. Please pray that the desires of our hearts will come true!

Happy New Year to you and yours. Talk to you in 2007!

Morning Sickness?

Normally I nap during this time of day, but today my slumber was curtailed by severe nausea. That's right--big, bad morning sickness! It started this morning and has fluctuated in intensity throughout the day. In my experience, this is exactly how it feels to be in the early weeks of pregnancy. I currently have all of the symptoms I've had in the past: heartburn, nausea, breast tenderness/pain, vivid dreams and expanding waistline (granted, this may very well be caused by excessive consumption of holiday goodies).

I am doing my best to stay calm...but it's difficult not to assume that pregnancy is the reason for my list of symptoms. I'm remaining cautiously optimistic...with optimism pulling ahead of caution today.

Four days from now, Wade and I will know for certain. We will certainly rejoice if the test is positive, but we will not be able to rest easy. Two of my three pregnancies ended in miscarriage around 7-8 weeks. So if I am pregnant, we will remain somewhat guarded through the first trimester.

The great news is that it's all in God's hands, either way. Praise the Lord for giving me more hope today and wonderful friends with whom to share it!

Waiting is the Hardest Part

Hope you had a wonderful Christmas! We sure did. Wade, Liliana and I put 1100 miles on the Camry over the week, traveling to Michigan, Indiana and the Chicago area. We had the opportunity to spend lots of time with family and friends, which is our favorite aspect of the holiday season.

As much as we love jetting about the country, we are relieved to be home now. It will be nice to have four days to relax together. Wade and I are hooked on the series 24, and we're watching several episodes each night. It's highly addictive. I recommend it!

We're anxiously awaiting our pregnancy test on Jan. 2nd. Although two weeks doesn't seem like a long time in the grand scheme of things, it sure does crawl by each month that we wait for the final outcome.

At this point, we are cautiously optimistic. I have been experiencing the typical symptoms of pregnancy every day, but I don't want to assume anything. It's very possible that the progesterone shots may be the culprit. Please pray that I am carrying a child (or two) and that everything is healthy!

Bless you, and thank you for stopping by.

The Saga Continues

Today we sadly say goodbye to Grammy and Grandfather, who are ending their week's stay. They have been helpful beyond description, and we have appreciated every minute.

As for the IVF front, the pain in my abdomen is gradually decreasing, while a rash has emerged on my chest. Doc Pineda is tyring to figure out the cause so that it does not grow into a larger problem. I thought it was a minor issue, but he's concerned that it may cause breathing difficulty or anaphylactic shock. The primary suspect is low-dose aspirin, which I began taking yesterday morning (to help thin my blood due to MTHFR deficiency). The Progesterone injections shouldn't be the culprit, since I've already been taking them for a week.

Wade and I are hopeful that two embryos have found a warm place to nestle in for the next nine months. God willing, we'll be sharing good news with you on January 2nd. Until then, I must eat, drink, sleep and act like I'm pregnant so that I create the best environment for my little ones.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support! Ramona