Whirlwind of Blessings

I know. It's been a long time...forever, it seems. The past six months have been exploding with activity, primarily raising two energetic girlies and keeping up with a photography business that took off like a wild mustang. It's been a whirlwind of blessings, but a whirlwind nonetheless.

As for the primary purpose for this blog--a chronicle of journey through infertility and adoption--things have been quiet. Until December 13th, that is. Out of the clear blue, God surprised our socks off with a miraculous pregnancy. At first, we were shocked. But after three home pregnancy tests and a lab blood test, the truth became reality.

Next came the the delicate, wavering balance of cautious optimism. With each miscarriage, we've found that the ratio tends to become more and more skewed in the direction of caution. We trust in God's providence, but it's difficult to get excited when our pregnancies repeatedly come to a screeching halt after the first or second ultrasound. Fortunately, this time has been different.

First, our blood tests showed extraordinary increases in beta hcg levels. Instead of doubling every 48-72 hours, the levels quadrupled each time! In fact, we thought twins might be in our future. Next, we saw a single, strong heartbeat at almost 8 weeks. And on Tuesday, we witnessed an even stronger heartbeat and the baby's tiny moving body! According to our new, wonderful, godly OB-gyn, fetal movement is the best indicator of health at this stage. And we're praising the Lord!

Right now, the baby has made it to 9 weeks & 2 days. Believe it or not, that's the longest pregnancy we've experienced...next to sweet Liliana. We are thrilled. And our optimism is rising steadily each week. I'm nauseous almost 24 hours a day (and so thankful for it), and I'm completely exhausted by 2:00pm every day. Thankfully, I have the luxury of passing out while Leila naps and Liliana rests with a movie.

We know this is a total God thing, and we are profoundly grateful for His unending mercy and grace. As we continue to travel this road, we covet your encouragement and prayers. Thank you for your friendship and faithfulness.

Many blessings, Ramona

Pins and Needles

I'm still waiting for the results of my blood test, and I'm a wreck! The lab is supposed to send the results to the doctor's office within two hours, and it's now approaching three. I've called Dr. Silber twice with shaking hands and a knotted stomach, just to hear, "The results aren't in yet." Agony!

Please pray for a positive test result and a healthy baby! ~Ramona

Praying for a Miracle

The countdown is almost over. Tomorrow morning is my long-awaited beta hCG blood test. I have to be honest: I do not have a good feeling about my chances. Not only have my symptoms decreased significantly, but I also had a negative home pregnancy test this morning (yes, the waiting got the best of me).

It is possible that the test result was a false-negative...basically, it could be too soon to tell. But the hard truth of the matter is that the test may have been completely accurate. We'll know for sure tomorrow. I'm still holding out a little hope, but I'm not holding my breath.

Praying for a miracle, Ramona

Waiting

Other than a sore, knotted backside (due to hefty progesterone shots), I haven't experienced any significant changes since the FET. I've had a few tinges of pain in my abdomen each day...but nothing major. Every day, I wake up hoping for nausea and a sore chest, but no such luck. When I was pregnant with Liliana, I didn't experience morning sickness until 5 weeks. With the rest of my pregnancies, nausea came very early.

Once again, the two-week wait seems endless. My beta hCG test is scheduled for Monday, July 30th. We're praying for a double pregnancy!

Have a great weekend! ~Ramona

Midnight Musings

It's midnight. I can't sleep. Surprise, surprise. Why is it that my mind goes bananas the night before anything semi-important? I guess I've always been this way. When I was a young girl, I would get so excited about the first day of school that I'd make my debut with six measly minutes of sleep under my belt (but rest assured it was the perfect belt, because I stayed up all night thinking about exactly how to accessorize with my big hair and jellies).

Apparently, old habits die hard. Right now my coach is turning into a pumpkin because of a simple blood draw at the lab. I know, I know...it's really the result I'm anxious about, but it sure seems silly to get so worked up. I should be dreaming instead of typing. My sweet, sick girl has been crying for me hourly, so rest will surely be a rare commodity tonight.

Liliana is doing a little better, by the way. According to Dr. Graham, she has a viral infection that's making rounds in the kiddie community. Her fever should subside in a couple days, and she will be jumping on the bed by the end of the weekend. Her rash was just a stubborn case of contact dermatitis (from rubbing the elastic on her Smiles size 5's). With several treatments of hydrocortizone cream, her tushy will be as soft and squishy as ever.

On another note: My new friend, Niki, introduced me to a Christian network for women with infertility issues. It's called Hannah's Prayer, and I really think I'm going to find comfort in traveling this road with believers who share a similar struggle. I'm sure Wade was relieved to hear I've found another place to express the innermost details of my womanhood. Believe me when I tell you there are things even a husband doesn't want to hear--things much too personal to post on a blog. Ladies who have had your feet in metal stirrups, can I get a witness?!

That reminds me... My first OB-Gyn had a poster of Patrick Swayze on the ceiling above the examination table. Never mind that it was 1989 in rural Indiana, no woman should look up from her position on the table and see a picture of a half-nekked (there's that word again) male icon. We're supposed to be finding a happy place, not Road House. Oh, I digress.

Well, my eyes are tired. Hopefully I'll be able to quiet my mind enough to fall asleep before the next "Mama, mama!" Although I don't relish 3:00am cries, I wouldn't trade the precious gift of motherhood for the world. Please pray that I have the opportunity to be Mommy to another little one in the future.

May God bless you and yours, Ramona

Low Expectations, High Fever

Well, we're less than 24 hours away from the beta hCG pregnancy test. I go to the lab at St. Luke's first thing tomorrow morning, and I'll receive the results between 10:00 and 11:00am. The night before last, I was convinced that our IVF was successful. Now I feel almost certain that I'm getting a period instead of a positive pregnancy test. Happy Mother's Day to me.

I really am a positive person, but I have to be realistic here. The only sign of pregnancy I still have is nausea (and I could totally be wishing that upon myself). Everything else points to an unwelcome visit from Aunt Flow. I hope and pray that my suspicions are wrong about the situation. It's in God's hands now...and I pray that He will grant us a pleasant surprise tomorrow.

The past couple days have been very stressful for me...and for Wade. Not only have our hopes come tumbling down, but our precious Liliana also became ill. She developed a high fever yesterday, and she has a strange rash that's persisted for a week. Poor baby cried in discomfort all through the night, and I had to wake her several times to give acetaminophen to reduce the fever. I feel like I slept for 45 minutes last night. Liliana probably does, too. She has an appointment to see Dr. Graham at 12:45 today, and then hopefully she'll nap like a champ!

On a positive note, my whopping headache is almost gone. Thank the Lord! Life is so much better (and easier) without a throbbin' noggin.

Thank you so much for your continued support, encouragement and prayers. I truly appreciate it! Have a wonderful day, Ramona

Friday and Monday are the Big Days

Big news! My reproductive system has been responding so quickly to the treatment that my IVF dates have been moved up to Friday, May 27th and Monday, the 30th. The first procedure is just 36 hours away! I go into St. Luke's at 6:00am this Friday for the egg retrieval. Then bed rest before and after the embryo transfer on Monday.

As I was watching the ultrasound monitor this morning, I noticed that all of the follicle sizes had increased dramatically (even after the medication doses had been reduced). Since I knew enough about the treatment process to recognize what was happening, I called Wade and told him that the procedures would probably happen sooner than expected. Then I called his parents to let them know that a change of plans may be in order. As usual, they were both supportive and flexible. Sure enough, Dr. Silber's office confirmed my suspicions this afternoon and ordered my HCG injection for tonight (which means my eggs will be ready Friday morning).

Although I have fewer mature follicles than the December IVF, I am hopeful about the outcome. I have to be optimistic and hopeful...and relaxed. After Friday's procedure, I will know the exact number of eggs retrieved; however, we won't find out how many embryos survive until Monday morning, just before the transfer. We're praying for at least four, but I'll be relieved if three are viable. Last time, only two were available for implantation.

All in all, I'm happy about the way things have progressed. I definitely prefer action over waiting. Now I'm scrambling to complete all of the tasks on my "To do" list, so that I can put my mind at ease before a week of mandatory rest and recovery. One more load of laundry and a cart full of groceries ought to do it. The way I look at it, I've got a week's vacation coming up. What a blessing!

Praying for a successful IVF, Ramona

Hello, McFly!?

I totally had a McFly moment last week and forgot to include the results of my bloodwork and ultrasound. Unbelievable!

My hormone levels (beta HCG, progesterone, follicle stimulating hormone, luteinizing hormone and estradiol) were exactly where we want them to be going into IVF. Dr. Pineda's nurses seemed excited to tell me about the results--so that's definitely a good sign. As for my ultrasound results, the sonogram showed 21 antral follicles on the right and 22 on the left. Knowing that antral follicles are an indication of the potential number of eggs that may be produced, this is incredible news!

During my previous IVF, 26 stimulated follicles yielded 11 eggs. Ultimately, only 2 viable embryos were available for transfer. For that reason, I am very interested in increasing the numbers so that more embryos may be produced. According to Dr. Silber's nurse, we may be able to enhance the process with some changes in the medication regimen and timing; however, we'll need to be careful not to overstimulate the ovaries (which can be very dangerous). It's a balancing act, but Sherman Silber is world renowned for a reason.

Tomorrow is our meeting with the great doctor. We hope to leave his office feeling more confident about investing $16K on this process (for the 2nd time). Fortunately, we know this is our only option for conceiving a child and it's ultimately in God's hands. Thank goodness for that!

Here's to many months of good news! Blessings, Ramona

My 2-Year-Old Monkey

Thank the Lord! Things continue to go smoothly with our pregnancy. My HCG more than doubled from 67 to 179, which is a sign that all is well. I return on to St. Luke's on the 11th for more bloodwork, and my 1st ultrasound is the 15th. At this point, there is no reason to suspect twins. Of course, anything is possible...but the hormone levels do not suggest multiples. We are so thankful for a single viable pregnancy; twins would be icing on the cake.

Liliana has presented us with a new challenge the past two days. She discovered how to climb out of her crib about a year ago, and has now figured out how to open her bedroom door. Until yesterday, we managed to prevent her from climbing out (believe it or not, she simply obeyed our request to stay in the crib). Now that she can turn the doorknob and let herself out of the bedroom, a whole new world of wonder has opened up.

Yesterday she came into our bedroom and woke me up from our afternoon nap. I didn't hear the little rascal until she climbed into bed with me. This morning, I noticed the slightest peep on the monitor and the next thing I knew--she was in our room. This afternoon, I saw her tiny frame in the doorway as I was lying in bed resting. I am concerned because she is so adept at climbing and opening her door that she escapes without a sound. She's like a little monkey! We've closed the gate at the top of the stairs and the doors to the other rooms upstairs, but eventually she'll find a way to get into mischief. And I've been so exhausted lately, that I'm afraid one day I won't hear her until she has created serious mayhem.

So far, discipline doesn't seem to phase her. I'm hoping the excitement of this new adventure will wear off, and she'll decide that the punishment is enough of a deterrant. (That's what happened when she initially began climbing out of her crib.) I'm also thinking about a child-proof doorknob for the inside of her room. At least she'd be contained to her bedroom once she is up and at 'em. That way, I'd definitely hear her on the monitor more quickly. Anyone have suggestions?

Daddy is working late, and the native is getting restless. Time for some toddler antics. More tomorrow!

God bless you! Ramona

God is SO Good!

Wade and I are thrilled to share that we are expecting a child in September! We rejoice and thank God for this wonderful miracle. Praise the Lord, Halleluiah! We feel so blessed!

The pregnancy looks wonderful right now. A blood test Thursday will tell us how the baby is developing and may give insight about the possibility of twins. My HCG level was 67 this morning (anything over 25 signifies a healthy pregnancy). The level should double by Thursday morning. If the number quadruples, we will suspect a multiple pregnancy. Right now, we just thank the Lord for answering our prayers!

Please continue to pray for baby's healthy development. The next 8 weeks are critical. Hopefully the Folgard, Aspirin and Progesterone will help correct the problems that led to my previous miscarriages. And we all know that prayer is more powerful than medication!

Thank you so much for your support through the IVF process and your continued prayers for our unborn child!

May God bless you and yours,
Expectant mother, Ramona

P.S. Feel free to leave comments. Don't be shy! This is a time of celebration!