Wednesday was my post-miscarriage follow-up exam. According to Dr. Pineda, it appears that the healing process has begun. He sent me to the lab for a pregnancy test (of all things!) to check my hormone levels. When the HCG value drops to below five, it's considered to be "negative." I received the results yesterday, and my level was exactly five (thank you, Murphy). So I have to go back and have another blood draw this week to make sure it goes down one little point!
Although I'm not thrilled to donate more blood, I'm thankful to be on the road to recovery. Once the medical issues are cleared up (including the pathology report we have yet to receive), we will be able to close this chapter and completely focus on the present. That will be nice.
Once things get back to normal (about two months), I plan to leave Dr. Pineda's care and return to my original doc. Since we now know that it's possible to conceive naturally, we see no need to continue with a specialist. After hearing from hundreds of couples and experiencing five years of fertility treatments, I firmly believe that the term "unexplained" in the diagnosis of unexplained infertility means "there's no medical explanation, because it's in God' hands."
It's all in God's hands! Blessings,
Ramona
Showing posts with label Bloodwork. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bloodwork. Show all posts
Friday, January 25, 2008
Monday, January 07, 2008
In God's Hands
Okay, so it's been 17 days of waiting for a miscarriage. Although I thought it was happening on January 1st, the hormone surge, cramping and bleeding did not manifest into more. My symptoms stopped that evening and my pregnancy symptoms continued. Almost every day since then, I've felt "on the verge" with spotting or mild bleeding...but still no miscarriage.
To rewind: On Friday, December 21st, my ultrasound revealed that our embryo appeared to be 5 weeks development (instead of 6 weeks) and labs showed that my HcG level slowed way down (when it should have been doubling every 48-72 hours). Because of those results, Dr. Pineda informed us that the pregnancy was ending and a miscarriage was just around the corner.
So here I am, more than two weeks later, after a very frustrating and emotional period of waiting. This morning I contacted Dr. Pineda's office to alert him of my situation. After learning the details, he sent me to the lab for blood tests to confirm that the hormone levels dropped. They call it a "missed miscarriage," where the body somehow misses the signals for a miscarriage and a surgical procedure (D&C) is necessary to remove the remains of the pregnancy.
When the nurse called this afternoon, I was shocked and confused to learn that my HcG level doubled to over 1600 since the 12/21 test. Apparently, the fetus is still alive and trying to grow, despite discontinuing the progesterone treatments. Because the baby has only achieved 48-hours of development in the past 17 days, it is clear that something is very wrong. As a result, the pregnancy is not considered viable. The bottom line: I am still pregnant, but my child is fighting a losing battle for survival.
I have experienced the entire spectrum of emotions today. Although the doctor recommends an immediate D&C to remove the tissue and placenta, I do not feel comfortable with the procedure until the pregnancy has ended on its own. I know the baby is not healthy, and I know the pregnancy is not viable...but I cannot terminate the pregnancy. I plan to wait until an ultrasound or blood test confirm that the growth has completely stopped. I know that this is prolonging the inevitable...but I do not feel right about ending the pregnancy with medical means.
As you may imagine, it is extremely difficult and disheartening to carry a child that is abnormal, unhealthy and destined to die. But as long as he or she is alive, my child is in God's hands. And though I will never hold this precious one, I rest in the knowledge that the Lord with take him home soon. I pray that these final days will pass quickly so that we may close this chapter and move on with the healing process. We find comfort in the fact that God is in control, and we continue to trust in His perfect timing.
To rewind: On Friday, December 21st, my ultrasound revealed that our embryo appeared to be 5 weeks development (instead of 6 weeks) and labs showed that my HcG level slowed way down (when it should have been doubling every 48-72 hours). Because of those results, Dr. Pineda informed us that the pregnancy was ending and a miscarriage was just around the corner.
So here I am, more than two weeks later, after a very frustrating and emotional period of waiting. This morning I contacted Dr. Pineda's office to alert him of my situation. After learning the details, he sent me to the lab for blood tests to confirm that the hormone levels dropped. They call it a "missed miscarriage," where the body somehow misses the signals for a miscarriage and a surgical procedure (D&C) is necessary to remove the remains of the pregnancy.
When the nurse called this afternoon, I was shocked and confused to learn that my HcG level doubled to over 1600 since the 12/21 test. Apparently, the fetus is still alive and trying to grow, despite discontinuing the progesterone treatments. Because the baby has only achieved 48-hours of development in the past 17 days, it is clear that something is very wrong. As a result, the pregnancy is not considered viable. The bottom line: I am still pregnant, but my child is fighting a losing battle for survival.
I have experienced the entire spectrum of emotions today. Although the doctor recommends an immediate D&C to remove the tissue and placenta, I do not feel comfortable with the procedure until the pregnancy has ended on its own. I know the baby is not healthy, and I know the pregnancy is not viable...but I cannot terminate the pregnancy. I plan to wait until an ultrasound or blood test confirm that the growth has completely stopped. I know that this is prolonging the inevitable...but I do not feel right about ending the pregnancy with medical means.
As you may imagine, it is extremely difficult and disheartening to carry a child that is abnormal, unhealthy and destined to die. But as long as he or she is alive, my child is in God's hands. And though I will never hold this precious one, I rest in the knowledge that the Lord with take him home soon. I pray that these final days will pass quickly so that we may close this chapter and move on with the healing process. We find comfort in the fact that God is in control, and we continue to trust in His perfect timing.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
The Lord Giveth and Taketh Away
Today we are grieving the loss of yet another child and preparing for a miscarriage in the midst of our Christmas plans. Yesterday's ultrasound revealed that the baby's development stopped somewhere around 5 1/2 weeks. Dr. Pineda requested lab tests to confirm what the sonogram images suggested, and we received the results at 9:30pm last night. Our tests showed that the HCG level only went up to 1332, instead of the desired 7200. As a result, the doc ordered that I discontinue my progesterone supplements to allow my body to recognize what has happened. Unfortunately, we should anticipate a miscarriage within the week.
Of course, we are deeply saddened by this turn of events. We hoped and prayed that this miraculous conception was a sign that we would know this precious child on earth. This is not how we had envisioned our holiday, but we know that God has a plan bigger and better than ours. And we are thankful that we had a brief opportunity to experience a pregnancy & the joy and anticipation that goes hand in hand.
We are ever grateful for your support, encouragement and intercession during this difficult time. We don't know what we would do without our family & friends...and our faith.
Peace with God brings the peace of God. It is a peace that settles our nerves, fills our mind, floods our spirit, and in the midst of the uproar around us, gives us the assurance that everything is alright. ~Bob Mumford
From our hearts to yours, have a blessed holiday weekend. ~Ramona
Of course, we are deeply saddened by this turn of events. We hoped and prayed that this miraculous conception was a sign that we would know this precious child on earth. This is not how we had envisioned our holiday, but we know that God has a plan bigger and better than ours. And we are thankful that we had a brief opportunity to experience a pregnancy & the joy and anticipation that goes hand in hand.
We are ever grateful for your support, encouragement and intercession during this difficult time. We don't know what we would do without our family & friends...and our faith.
Peace with God brings the peace of God. It is a peace that settles our nerves, fills our mind, floods our spirit, and in the midst of the uproar around us, gives us the assurance that everything is alright. ~Bob Mumford
From our hearts to yours, have a blessed holiday weekend. ~Ramona
Monday, April 23, 2007
Counting Down
Less than a week 'til my target date! In the meantime, I'm busy getting our life and home organized, since I'll be out of commission for about a week. Thankfully, Wade's parents are coming in to help with Liliana during my hospitalization and recovery. What a blessing!
At this point, my treatment is rolling along smoothly. My hormone levels have been good, and it appears that I have about 18 follicles in the running. We're waiting for the majority of follicles to reach a diameter of 1.8-2.1 mm. At that point, the egg retrieval will take place. I'll get the results from this morning's ultrasound and bloodwork sometime this afternoon. That will give me a better idea of the timeline.
I'll post the results this evening. Thanks for your continued support and encouragement!
At this point, my treatment is rolling along smoothly. My hormone levels have been good, and it appears that I have about 18 follicles in the running. We're waiting for the majority of follicles to reach a diameter of 1.8-2.1 mm. At that point, the egg retrieval will take place. I'll get the results from this morning's ultrasound and bloodwork sometime this afternoon. That will give me a better idea of the timeline.
I'll post the results this evening. Thanks for your continued support and encouragement!
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Let the Fun Begin!
Our IVF target dates are almost two months away. Yet, the fun begins this week! If you want to know the "ins and outs" of IVF...stay tuned, my friend. In the coming weeks, you will get the low down on what it's really like to go through the process. No hold barred!
My cycle began today (which may be TMI, but you have to know that to understand how the whole thing works). On the third day of the cycle, Dr. Silber's patients begin birth control pills. I know it seems counter-intuitive to ingest something that inhibits pregnancy when you're yearning for a child, but that's how the doctor controls the timeline from here on out. My cycle has to be exactly on target for both the egg retrieval and embryo transfer. That's why the medical team takes control this early. More opportunity to work out any glitches, I suppose.
Starting Wednesday, I take the Desogen for 16 days (to create a "short cycle"). I will also have my blood drawn at St. Luke's to get a baseline reading on my Day 3 hormone levels. My progesterone, HCG and estrogen should be within normal ranges at this point. Friday, I will undergo an ultrasound at Dr. Pineda's office. (Normally IVF patients have the ultrasound completed at the hospital, but my insurance does cover "diagnostic" ultrasounds...so do it this way to avoid unnecessary out-of-pocket expenses. Trust me, there will be no shortage of expenses.) Both the bloodwork and the ultrasound are standard procedures before IVF.
We meet with Dr. Silber on March 14th for a consultation. I plan to ask him how this IVF process will differ from that in December. I'd also like to know how he plans to alter the medication regimen to help produce more high quality eggs. It seemed to me that we should have produced more than two viable embryos when I began with 26 antral follicles. We were hoping to have at least four embryos (two for transfer/implantation and two to freeze for a later date). I'd really like Dr. Silber to make adjustments to enhance the process now that we know how my body responds to the medication.
So that's the medical aspect. The emotional side of this is more difficult for me (and most IVF patients). We're getting ready to undergo a process that has an extremely high cost with about a 50% success rate. That's a bitter pill to swallow. But then again, you can't put a price tag on the life of a child. And we did get pregnant with our first IVF attempt, which is a fact I'll definitely hold onto during the coming weeks. Being positive and relaxed is crucial to success.
This is where you have to have faith. The wondering and worrying can drive you crazy! I read an article today, and I just have to share it. Here's an excerpt from "When Everyone's Pregnant...Except You" by Deborah Bohn on BabyZone:
Dr. Madeline Licker Feingold, PhD, a reproductive medicine psychologist and fertility counselor based in Berkeley, California says, "The level of depression and anxiety in the infertility population is the same as in cancer, heart disease, and HIV-positive patients. Infertility is much more difficult than people may think."
Let's be honest, baby showers, like weddings, can be tedious affairs—it's enough to drive an older mom nuts, so imagine how it feels to someone who's struggling to have a baby of their own. Imagine putting a starving person in a room full of food they're not allowed to eat. It's simply torturous.
I wish I had a dollar for every time someone told me about the friend of their cousin's back in Wichita who tried desperately to have a child, went on to adopt three children, then miraculously got pregnant on her own a few years later. Somehow this miracle baby myth was supposed to give me hope that it could happen for me, too. Well, it didn't give me hope. It made me angry.
And so did all the unsolicited medical advice. I was instructed by people with no medical training whatsoever to prop my legs up after intercourse or make sure my husband wore boxer shorts. But the best one by far . . . the one every childless woman hears is this, "Just relax!" Basically it's implied that we're sexually frigid and that loosening up a little will result in a positive pregnancy test.
"They'd never say something so crazy to a cancer patient!" Dr. Feingold says. She recommends either explaining to the pseudo-physician that you or your husband has a medical condition that no amount of prickly-pear juice or Pilates will cure. Or you can end the conversation on the spot with, "That's fascinating, but I'm working with doctors and considering all the options available to me."
And that's what I'm doing, folks....state-of-the-art in vitro fertilization and old fashioned prayer. I've got a world-renowned IVF specialist overseeing my medical care, and I've got the Lord overseeing my doctor and me! What more could I ask for? So my prayer today is that I will glorify God through this process, and that He will bless us with a child (or two)!
Here's to a healthy pregnancy in May! Bless you, Ramona
My cycle began today (which may be TMI, but you have to know that to understand how the whole thing works). On the third day of the cycle, Dr. Silber's patients begin birth control pills. I know it seems counter-intuitive to ingest something that inhibits pregnancy when you're yearning for a child, but that's how the doctor controls the timeline from here on out. My cycle has to be exactly on target for both the egg retrieval and embryo transfer. That's why the medical team takes control this early. More opportunity to work out any glitches, I suppose.
Starting Wednesday, I take the Desogen for 16 days (to create a "short cycle"). I will also have my blood drawn at St. Luke's to get a baseline reading on my Day 3 hormone levels. My progesterone, HCG and estrogen should be within normal ranges at this point. Friday, I will undergo an ultrasound at Dr. Pineda's office. (Normally IVF patients have the ultrasound completed at the hospital, but my insurance does cover "diagnostic" ultrasounds...so do it this way to avoid unnecessary out-of-pocket expenses. Trust me, there will be no shortage of expenses.) Both the bloodwork and the ultrasound are standard procedures before IVF.
We meet with Dr. Silber on March 14th for a consultation. I plan to ask him how this IVF process will differ from that in December. I'd also like to know how he plans to alter the medication regimen to help produce more high quality eggs. It seemed to me that we should have produced more than two viable embryos when I began with 26 antral follicles. We were hoping to have at least four embryos (two for transfer/implantation and two to freeze for a later date). I'd really like Dr. Silber to make adjustments to enhance the process now that we know how my body responds to the medication.
So that's the medical aspect. The emotional side of this is more difficult for me (and most IVF patients). We're getting ready to undergo a process that has an extremely high cost with about a 50% success rate. That's a bitter pill to swallow. But then again, you can't put a price tag on the life of a child. And we did get pregnant with our first IVF attempt, which is a fact I'll definitely hold onto during the coming weeks. Being positive and relaxed is crucial to success.
This is where you have to have faith. The wondering and worrying can drive you crazy! I read an article today, and I just have to share it. Here's an excerpt from "When Everyone's Pregnant...Except You" by Deborah Bohn on BabyZone:
Dr. Madeline Licker Feingold, PhD, a reproductive medicine psychologist and fertility counselor based in Berkeley, California says, "The level of depression and anxiety in the infertility population is the same as in cancer, heart disease, and HIV-positive patients. Infertility is much more difficult than people may think."
Let's be honest, baby showers, like weddings, can be tedious affairs—it's enough to drive an older mom nuts, so imagine how it feels to someone who's struggling to have a baby of their own. Imagine putting a starving person in a room full of food they're not allowed to eat. It's simply torturous.
I wish I had a dollar for every time someone told me about the friend of their cousin's back in Wichita who tried desperately to have a child, went on to adopt three children, then miraculously got pregnant on her own a few years later. Somehow this miracle baby myth was supposed to give me hope that it could happen for me, too. Well, it didn't give me hope. It made me angry.
And so did all the unsolicited medical advice. I was instructed by people with no medical training whatsoever to prop my legs up after intercourse or make sure my husband wore boxer shorts. But the best one by far . . . the one every childless woman hears is this, "Just relax!" Basically it's implied that we're sexually frigid and that loosening up a little will result in a positive pregnancy test.
"They'd never say something so crazy to a cancer patient!" Dr. Feingold says. She recommends either explaining to the pseudo-physician that you or your husband has a medical condition that no amount of prickly-pear juice or Pilates will cure. Or you can end the conversation on the spot with, "That's fascinating, but I'm working with doctors and considering all the options available to me."
And that's what I'm doing, folks....state-of-the-art in vitro fertilization and old fashioned prayer. I've got a world-renowned IVF specialist overseeing my medical care, and I've got the Lord overseeing my doctor and me! What more could I ask for? So my prayer today is that I will glorify God through this process, and that He will bless us with a child (or two)!
Here's to a healthy pregnancy in May! Bless you, Ramona
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Patience is a Virtue
I was up all night with serious nausea and racing thoughts. I just couldn't get my brain or my stomach to shut down. This is the fourth night of restless sleep, and the lack of rest is catching up with me. Everything seems foggy, and I lack my usual pep. But all it takes is wonderful news to fire up my endorphins for the day.
My blood test was at St. Luke's this morning. Right now, I'm doing everything I can to take my mind off this seemingly endless waiting. Wade is at work, so we are unable to be together when we hear the test results. The best we can do is a three-way call to the MD office when the time comes. Hopefully we will have reason to celebrate when he returns home.
This has been a very sweet morning of quality time with Liliana. I am so thankful for her little personality. What a joy, especially during tough times. I am also grateful for our parents, who have continued to check on us throughout this process. And thanks to you for being with us and supporting us through your comments, cards, calls and emails. God bless you!
In His abiding love, Ramona
My blood test was at St. Luke's this morning. Right now, I'm doing everything I can to take my mind off this seemingly endless waiting. Wade is at work, so we are unable to be together when we hear the test results. The best we can do is a three-way call to the MD office when the time comes. Hopefully we will have reason to celebrate when he returns home.
This has been a very sweet morning of quality time with Liliana. I am so thankful for her little personality. What a joy, especially during tough times. I am also grateful for our parents, who have continued to check on us throughout this process. And thanks to you for being with us and supporting us through your comments, cards, calls and emails. God bless you!
In His abiding love, Ramona
Friday, December 08, 2006
The Drama Unfolds
Another day of enjoying the holiday season and baking with my little helper, Liliana. Today she discovered the joy of licking the spoon after mixing cookie dough. She is such a precious gift, especially in the midst of these topsy-turvy days. Tender moments with Liliana are constant reminders of the reason we are so willing to go through difficult treatments to have more children. There is nothing on earth better than being a mommy.
Things are looking up on the IVF front. I had bloodwork and an ultrasound this morning, and the results were better than anticipated. As of yesterday, even the great Dr. Silber was unable to explain the bleeding. The nurse said they had never seen anything quite like it. Through analysis of my hormone levels and ultrasound images, today Dr. Silber concluded that my uterine lining was shedding (hence, the bleeding) at a very odd time in the cycle. As a result, the lining is now only 4mm. It needs to be 8mm in order for embryo implantation to occur. Everything else looked great: multiple follicles are growing (slowly but surely) and hormone levels were within normal ranges.
All in all, we plan to charge full speed ahead, praying that at least 10 eggs mature (preferably more) in time for extraction and that my lining doubles in size by Dec. 20th. If the lining does not reach 8mm, Dr. Silber will extract the eggs, fertilize them and freeze them for a later transfer. The freezing technology is so advanced that less than 1% of "pre-embryos" are lost during the process. Worst case scenario: we create embryos this month and transfer them at a later date. Although that situation would be somewhat disappointing (since we'd really love the New Year's gift of pregnancy), we still wouldn't lose all the time, effort and resources we've invested so far. We're very thankful for that!
Please pray specifically that at least 10 eggs will be viable at the time of extraction (Dec. 17th) and that my lining would be ideal for implantation of embryos (Dec. 20th).
I truly feel the Lord's hand guiding this situation. And although I don't understand all the drama, I do know that He has something wonderful in store for us.
Say tuned...
Things are looking up on the IVF front. I had bloodwork and an ultrasound this morning, and the results were better than anticipated. As of yesterday, even the great Dr. Silber was unable to explain the bleeding. The nurse said they had never seen anything quite like it. Through analysis of my hormone levels and ultrasound images, today Dr. Silber concluded that my uterine lining was shedding (hence, the bleeding) at a very odd time in the cycle. As a result, the lining is now only 4mm. It needs to be 8mm in order for embryo implantation to occur. Everything else looked great: multiple follicles are growing (slowly but surely) and hormone levels were within normal ranges.
All in all, we plan to charge full speed ahead, praying that at least 10 eggs mature (preferably more) in time for extraction and that my lining doubles in size by Dec. 20th. If the lining does not reach 8mm, Dr. Silber will extract the eggs, fertilize them and freeze them for a later transfer. The freezing technology is so advanced that less than 1% of "pre-embryos" are lost during the process. Worst case scenario: we create embryos this month and transfer them at a later date. Although that situation would be somewhat disappointing (since we'd really love the New Year's gift of pregnancy), we still wouldn't lose all the time, effort and resources we've invested so far. We're very thankful for that!
Please pray specifically that at least 10 eggs will be viable at the time of extraction (Dec. 17th) and that my lining would be ideal for implantation of embryos (Dec. 20th).
I truly feel the Lord's hand guiding this situation. And although I don't understand all the drama, I do know that He has something wonderful in store for us.
Say tuned...
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
HOPEFUL
Wade and I have been married for four years. Throughout that time, we have experienced countless blessings together. Although we've had our share of trials, our years have been quite beautiful. As our love has grown stronger, so grows our dream of a home filled with the laughter of children. Unfortunately, we have come to realize that having a large family may not be in God's plan for us. Early in our marriage we were diagnosed with unexplained infertility. We yearned for a child and experienced a great deal of grief and disappointment each month that passed with no result. After undergoing fertility treatments for over a year and enduring a miscarriage, we were finally blessed with a precious daughter in 2004.
At this point, we have been "trying" for almost two years, with another miscarriage in 2005. Two years may not seem like a long time, but specialists in this field agree that a woman of my age (34) should conceive within one year. We have been working with a highly regarded specialist since January, 2006, and we have exhausted every treatment option except for In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). After much prayer and deliberation, we have decided to undergo IVF. We are currently scheduled for the procedures (egg retrieval and embryo transfer) on December 17 and 20th, respectively. We are very fortunate that our IVF specialist is considered one of the best in the world, and his medical center is located here in St. Louis at St. Luke's Hospital.
IVF is a very intense process. It can be (and usually is) emotionally and physically taxing, and the financial strain is almost overwhelming for a family on a budget. For those of you who don't know, IVF is very expensive ($14-18,000, depending on the medication needs) with around a 50% chance for success. It is a huge risk, but we know it will be worth it. I wouldn't trade my Liliana for the world, and we already feel that way about future children.
I have already begun taking oral and injectable medications to get my cycle aligned with the target dates. On Dec. 4th, I begin two more meds which will stimulate follicle (egg) growth. Daily monitoring by ultrasound and bloodwork begins on Dec. 8th. [Forgive me if this is TMI (too much information), but it comes with the territory. I am now an expert in a field I never intended to master.] I will try to provide daily updates on this site--for both informational and cathartic purposes. Feel free to leave comments, questions and words of encouragement! So far, my emotions have been steady...but I know from months past that the hormones can send me on an emotional rollercoaster. Poor Wade! He has been so supportive and loving throughout this trial. I thank the Lord for him every day.
Thank you for joining me in this process. Your thoughts and well-wishes are truly appreciated!
Blessings,
Ramona
At this point, we have been "trying" for almost two years, with another miscarriage in 2005. Two years may not seem like a long time, but specialists in this field agree that a woman of my age (34) should conceive within one year. We have been working with a highly regarded specialist since January, 2006, and we have exhausted every treatment option except for In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). After much prayer and deliberation, we have decided to undergo IVF. We are currently scheduled for the procedures (egg retrieval and embryo transfer) on December 17 and 20th, respectively. We are very fortunate that our IVF specialist is considered one of the best in the world, and his medical center is located here in St. Louis at St. Luke's Hospital.
IVF is a very intense process. It can be (and usually is) emotionally and physically taxing, and the financial strain is almost overwhelming for a family on a budget. For those of you who don't know, IVF is very expensive ($14-18,000, depending on the medication needs) with around a 50% chance for success. It is a huge risk, but we know it will be worth it. I wouldn't trade my Liliana for the world, and we already feel that way about future children.
I have already begun taking oral and injectable medications to get my cycle aligned with the target dates. On Dec. 4th, I begin two more meds which will stimulate follicle (egg) growth. Daily monitoring by ultrasound and bloodwork begins on Dec. 8th. [Forgive me if this is TMI (too much information), but it comes with the territory. I am now an expert in a field I never intended to master.] I will try to provide daily updates on this site--for both informational and cathartic purposes. Feel free to leave comments, questions and words of encouragement! So far, my emotions have been steady...but I know from months past that the hormones can send me on an emotional rollercoaster. Poor Wade! He has been so supportive and loving throughout this trial. I thank the Lord for him every day.
Thank you for joining me in this process. Your thoughts and well-wishes are truly appreciated!
Blessings,
Ramona
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)