You Can Break My Bones, But You Can't Break My Spirit

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12

So yesterday's family day took a hard left turn, when my bike tire blew, and I hit the pavement…hard. I found myself lying in the road, bleeding and bruised. It was clear something was very wrong, because I could not get up to save my life. I began calling for help, praying I would not get hit by a car. In that moment, I prayed that God would prevent any further harm. At another point I remember thinking, "Where is lifeAlert when you need it?!" 😳

Three good Samaritans stopped to help, and the next thing I knew, Wade Wicht was on the scene. We took a lovely trip to Forrest General Hospital, where I was treated by kind and competent medical staff. CT scans and x-rays confirmed my suspicion that somethings was broken. It turns out, my pelvis is fractured in two places, and my left side is riddled with road rash. My body may be broken, but my spirit is not!  I've been here before, many times.  Hit with an unexpected situation that required an extra dose of strength and prayer.  But I'm a fighter, and I will embrace my lil-ol'-lady walker like a champ.

I may be tough, but I'm not deluded.  I know the next several weeks will be rough. The cuts and abrasions will heal quickly, but the pelvic fractures will be another story. Sitting still is uncomfortable, moving is painful and weight bearing is excruciating. The walker definitely helps, but I am as slow as Flash, the sloth. And driving is completely out of the question. 

With homeschooling our four energetic children and running three growing businesses, we will have challenges aplenty. Even so, I am not worried. We serve an amazing God, and He will take care of our every need. His plan is perfect, and I look forward to seeing how he uses tthis situation for good.

Although a hospital stay is not what I had in mind for Labor Day weekend, I am so thankful for the unexpected blessings and tender mercies God continues shower upon us. Friends, the prayers, notes, texts and phone calls have been so encouraging, and I appreciate it more than you know. A special thanks to Colbey Penton Sparkman, Tish Taylor Line, Tinyke Badenhorst Cooper, Sean-Aleasha Vitale, SaraRob Robertson, Teratta Myers, Matthew Boyd, Claire Maranto Kolvites for going above and beyond to care for me and my family. 

My cup runneth over!

Father's Day Gifts

My dad doesn't love me.  The words resounded in my mind every day for nineteen years. I believed it, and my father didn't do much to convince anyone otherwise.   At best, my dad was absent.  At worst, he caused a great deal of pain. So when Father's Day rolled around each year, the three of us (my sister, brother and I) were less than thrilled. It was hard enough to live with a gaping, dad-shaped hole every day, but the impending holiday was like a week-long surge of salt in the wound.

Despite our feelings and our father's failings, we sent a Father's Day gift every year.  We weren't sweet storybook kids who forgave and forgot; instead, my Mom was a strong, stand-up gal who insisted upon it.  Every year, she bought him a dad's day gift and we begrudgingly signed our names to the card.  After our parents’ divorce, she continued to ensure we did the "right" thing.  Even the year our pop was $27,000 behind in child support, Mama still gathered us around the phone for that awkward, annual “Happy Father’s Day” observance.

The other 364 days of the year, it felt like my father forgot he had children...or wished he never had.  A call here a visit there; we never knew when or if we would hear from him.  As a 13-year-old, I taped his picture to my bedroom mirror, so I wouldn't forget what he looked like.  I was always hopeful that something would change, and that I would one day be important to him.  Deep down, I was still the little girl longing for her daddy.  With each experience, however, my siblings and I were left with deepening sadness and disappointment.  

To my chagrin, the little girl inside just wouldn't go away.  I grieved every missed birthday, holiday and father-daughter event through high school.  Even as a young lady, I yearned to know how it felt to snuggle up in a daddy's lap, to feel protected and loved.  Instead, it was grief and rejection, over and over and over.  Eventually, bitterness and resentment began to creep in...and the feelings were too much to bear.   

In my twentieth year, the Lord opened my eyes to the reality that my father would never be a "daddy." It dawned on me that my expectations would continue to lead to disappointment. By the grace of God, I began to forgive my father for his failings and chose to see him as a real person.  After I removed him from the pedestal, he could no longer fall.  In the following months, I sought to know my father as a person...a unique, fallible human being.  I called and visited him on a regular basis.  It wasn’t easy, but it was the road to recovery.

Over the years, my relationship with my dad became more real and meaningful.  Although I never felt like a beloved daughter, I was finally able to accept my father for who he was--an intelligent man, a hard worker, a talented golfer and a fun-loving guy who could fix anything.  He had three kids, and he just didn't know how to be a dad.  As I get older, I am more thankful that God led me to pursue a relationship with him...person to person.  And I am becoming more convinced that my dad did love us, in his own way.  Although that realization doesn't erase the years of pain, it is comforting.  Twenty-year wounds leave deep scars, and it takes time for them to fade.

When I was 32, I told my dad I loved him for the very first time.  He died the following week, just two days before he was to meet my first child.  At my father's funeral, my sister and I sang "Amazing Grace."  How perfect and how very profound.  There is redemption for the undeserving.  For my dad, and for me. Although I still long to know how it feels to be a daughter cradled in daddy's arms, I am also thankful for what I didn't have.  The giant void in my heart allowed me to yearn for a real, loving father...the perfect Father, who has held me like no earthly father could.

This Father's day, I am grateful. I thank God for the father I had--for who he was and the ways that relationship shaped my life.  I am also grateful for the pseudo-dads, who tried to love me along the way.  Most importantly, I am thankful for my husband and my heavenly Father, who are the greatest gifts I could imagine.

This morning I read: 

"A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty."

I didn't have the kind of dad so beautifully illustrated in the quote, but my children do.  Thank you, Wade Wicht, for loving our four children so well.  You exemplify the father a girl dreams of, a daddy who offers great riches with empty hands. Our four children adore you, and so do I!  Happy Father's Day!

I'm Baaaa-aaack!

When I said I was going to cut back, I never dreamt I'd become an absentee blogger. Journaling is so healthy, and I love sharing the thoughts & emotions that arise with each new mile of this journey. But for the past year or so, being a wife and mommy has required every moment of my attention. Although that hasn't really changed, I'm hoping to squeeze in a few minutes for blogging every once in awhile.

God is so very good, and I'm feeling exceptionally thankful these days. Here is my precious family at Wade's sister's wedding in October. All three of our girls are unbelievably special. I am blessed beyond belief!

FINALLY!

We are thrilled to share that Leila's adoption is final! Finally! On April 15th, 2009, our precious 9-month-old girl became a permanent member of our family. We praise the Lord for a happy ending to this part of our journey. The process was much more difficult than I can explain, and the reward oh-so sweet. Here we are in the St. Louis County family court after the finalization hearing.

Rejoicing, Ramona

Home to Stay

Please forgive my sporadic posting since our move to Hattiesburg. I'm still adjusting to this new life, and my blog has suffered serious neglect. Although living in the south has come with some huge changes, I love it. Not only that, but I belong here! It seems crazy to say that, especially since I was digging my heels into the St. Louis dirt just a few months ago...but it's the honest truth. I feel it. I know it. I truly belong here.

It's amazing how God has blessed us during the past four months. He has put terrific people in our path, and we now have wonderful friends and a loving church family. We fit right in, and it's such a fabulous feeling. A huge thank you to everyone who has helped us to feel so welcome!

Here are some of our closest friends at Mardi Gras last weekend. The Greers (on the left) also teamed up with us for the FPC chili cook-off in January...and we took home the big prize! The Kanes (on the right) are our mirror-image friends who live across the street. Chami and I are training for a half-marathon in April. We have so much fun together!

Above is a group of girls from the church. Most of these gals are in our Sunday School class and the Tuesday night Bible Study. I had an opportunity to share my testimony at the last study, and I was so blessed by the experience. I look forward to hearing everyone else's stories in the months to come. This was the first girls' night out, and I'm hoping it becomes a regular thing! I love my girlfriend time!

All in all, things are good. On the health front: I'm recovering from my third bout of the stomach flu, and my girls both have bronchitis. It seems like everyone I know is battling some type illnesses. Wade is the only healthy one. He just returned from an 8-day trip to Arizona and California, and we celebrated his birthday on Thursday. Happy Birthday, Wade!

Lots of love from Mississippi!

Blessings,
Ramona

Twenty Thousand Words

Photographs by Nicole Gourley http://www.spiritsbreezephotography.net

Happy Valentine's Day from our family to yours!

Ramona

Blessed Beyond Belief

It seems that the weeks are flying right by. I've had a few bouts of homesickness, but overall, I'm loving our new home and community. We've been soaking up the sunshine and warm temps, renovating this quirky house and getting to know our new friends. While Hattiesburg is definitely trailing St. Louis in the things-to-do-with-kids category, it is not lacking in kind, caring people...and that's really important to us.

We're also thrilled about our large property. The girls play outside most of the day (left: Leila sitting in the grass on a sunny afternoon), and we are all fascinated by the wildlife. We have so many beautiful birds, lizards, chameleons, frogs and insects to keep us company in the yard. At the same time, we have met our nemesis: fire ants.

No matter what the weather is like, the girls love to keep each other company. I couldn't be happier about the way their relationship continues to grow and blossom. They absolutely adore one another. I love seeing the way Leila's face brightens when Liliana enters the room and observing Liliana's sweet words and actions. As Leila's birthmother aptly put it, "They're two peas in a pod!" (Left: sisters cuddling on the sofa, like they do almost every morning.)


Liliana is already psyched for this year's Mardi Gras festivities, which are set for the mid to end of February. I'm particularly stoked about the unlimited supply of King cakes during the next six weeks (a perk of living close to New Orleans)! Like last year, we'll be celebrating in New Orleans with friends. Our hotel is located in a family-friendly area right on the parade route. And, contrary to popular belief, the daytime events really are for families (i.e., we shout to receive beads).

This week was very momentous for both of our girls. Liliana began riding her bike without training wheels. Aside from forgetting she could steer (and trying to eat the azaleas a couple times), she was a natural.

We are thankful to have a long driveway for perfecting new skills. Each day, I grab a piece of chalk, walk to the 3/4 point of the driveway, draw a line across it's width and write, "STOP." And Liliana swipes the chalk and adds an extra line to the "P," making it an "R." She thinks it's so funny, and I think it's cool that she can write all of her letters!

Precious Leila is already six months old, and she learned to sit without support this week. On Monday, she was very unstable, toppling over every minute or so. But by Wednesday, she was able to sit for almost 30 minutes! She's a rock star!

Although getting here has been quite the journey, we are so blessed to be a family of four. We absolutely adore our precious daughters, and we thank the Lord for them every single day!

Reflections and Resolutions

Farewell 2008, welcome 2009! To say that last year was a roller coaster is...well, a major understatement. Pregnancy, miscarriage, foster placement, legal risk adoption, 600-mile relocation, new job, new house, new school, new church, new life. Enough said.

Today I find myself quite reflective and resolute. I've been examining my experiences, and I know what I need to do. Since I like to keep my promises, I won't vow to exercise daily or become a vegan. And against my better judgement, my resolutions will be neither objective nor measurable. Instead, I'm focusing on the state of my heart and my relationships. So, here goes...

In 2009, I resolve to:
* Be a phenomenal friend.
* Err on the side of generosity.
* Do all things in love.

May this be the best year yet!

Many blessings to you and yours,
Ramona

From Our Family to Yours

Merry Christmas from Mississippi! Here we are on the beach in Ocean Springs during a visit with Wade's brother & family. We've been enjoying unbelievably warm temperatures this week. In fact, I'm wearing shorts and a t-shirt right now, and I've had to run the ceiling fans to cool the house. Is it really the end of December?! It feels like May!



Liliana and I have been tackling the heaping boxes that once covered our dining room floor, and I'm psyched to have only a few left! Finally, there's light at the end of the tunnel. It'll be so nice to have dinner at the dining room table for the first time.

Here are the girly-girls on our new sofa (thanks to Hudsons, my favorite store) in the living room. They're so cute together. Liliana dotes on Leila, and Leila smiles and laughs at Liliana like nobody's business!

Wade and I are absolutely stoked about being so close to the beach. There's no place we'd rather be than in the warm sand on a sunny day, and now we're just a short drive away. Liliana and Leila will be such beach bums this summer.


We are also enjoying more frequent date nights than we were able to have in STL, thanks to retired Grammy and Grandfather (Wade's parents). We attended a Christmas party last night, and we had so much fun that we were the last to leave!

Liliana seems to be adjusting a bit better the past few days, now that we've unearthed her favorite toys. She is on Christmas break until the first week of January, so we'll have plenty of time to play and enjoy the this crazy warm weather. Liliana is still falling pretty frequently, which is a major concern. I had to pick her up early on Monday after a serious faceplant on the classroom floor. And on Tuesday night, she fell against the corner of the coffee table and gashed the back of her head. Poor darling! We're praying it's just the stress of the move and nothing grave. Please pray for her!

Leila Bean (as we affectionately call her) now rolls over, sits up and is eating rice cereal, carrots and sweet potatoes. She likes to be in the middle of all the action, especially when there's a large group of people. The term "social butterfly" is a really an understatement for her. She would rather "talk" to and watch people than sleep!

We feel very blessed this holiday season, and we wish you every happiness. Merry Christmas and much love to one and all!

The Latest and Greatest

I can't believe we've been in Mississippi for six weeks. The time has flown by, especially with the holidays in full swing. We are loving it here, much to my surprise. I thought I might like it, but I certainly didn't expect to love it!

We've got a fabulous new church family, and we feel right at home. We're making new friends and getting connected to the community more quickly than I could have imagined. The people are so friendly and welcoming. Of course, it's also wonderful to be near Wade's family. We see them almost every day, and they've been a tremendous help during this time of adjustment. I'm so thankful that God has surrounded us with love and blessed us in this new adventure.

As for our home, it's coming right along. We have almost two acres of beautiful land, with a large number of giant pine trees in the yard and azalea bushes lining both sides of our long driveway. A small creek runs along the back of our property, and Liliana enjoys hunting around for acorns, pine cones, berries and other treasures. Our front yard is large enough for a respectable pick-up game of soccer or football. Although we haven't met many of our neighbors, we're planning to venture out with the stroller this week. Left: our family in the back yard on a warm December day.

We're especially psyched about the weather here. Today was sunny & 70 degrees, and tomorrow the forecast calls for 80-degree weather! On December 15th, no less!

Despite the warmth, we're decked out in Christmas spirit. We decorated our tree a couple weeks ago (here's Liliana in her "Santa's Little Helper" hat), and Santa visited last week. Liliana hid when the jolly man arrived, while Leila stared in wonder. At least there were no tears, which is a major improvement from last year. After St. Nick left our home and flew back to the North Pole, Liliana asked, "Mommy, does Santa have feet and toenails under those boots?" When I said, "Yes," she asserted, "Well, I think he's just a human being dressed up like Santa." Amazing. She's four stinkin' years old!

On a more serious note, please lift Liliana up in prayer. She's still having a difficult time adjusting to our new home, and her daily behavior reflects it. I know she'll eventually grow to love it, but it saddens me to see her struggle right now. She has such a tender heart, and I pray that it heals quickly.

As for Leila, she is still as sweet as ever. She's probably the most happy and social baby I've ever known. We are enjoying every moment with her, and so thankful that the Lord brought her to our family. She is now sitting up with support, eating rice cereal and sweet potatoes (like a good Southern girl) and rolling over. Leila "talks" and smiles all of the time, and she's the life of every party. She's such a blessing. We're thrilled to report that our adoption will be final on April 15th...just four short months away!

Save the date, St. Louis friends, because we'd love to spend time with you when we're in town! Hopefully we'll be there in Jan. for a wedding, too. We'll keep you posted!

Now, a little about Wade. My dear husband is working so hard these days. He's the executive business director for Pine Grove, a major residential treatment provider in the area. Not only is he thriving in the new company, he is also renovating the house and taking extra time to be with the girls. Both Liliana and Leila are so excited to see him when he returns home every day. It's absolutely precious to see their eyes light up (and Liliana run to the door) as soon as they hear him come in. If only every child loved Daddy so much!

Well, I certainly hope ya'll are rejoicing during this advent season. We sure are!

Many blessings to you,

Ramona the Southern Belle

Southern Thanksgiving

Christmas is just around the corner, and I'm lovin' every minute of the holiday season. This is my favorite time of year. It's magical, even without snow. Here is a sample of our Thanksgiving festivities...

This Thanksgiving was very special for us. Not only was it our first holiday in our new home, but we were also blessed to spend it with thirty family members. Much to my surprise, my mom even journeyed to Mississippi to enjoy a taste of Hattiesburg! It was a joy to have her with us for the week, and we are hopeful that she'll make it an annual trip!

Leila was the life of the party, smiling, laughing and "talking" nearly every waking moment. The entire family fell in love with her. Even though she wasn't feeling her best (fighting a cold), nobody would have known it. She is definitely a little social butterfly...and we love it!

Liliana had a ball with her grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins in town. Her favorite activities were Hungry Hippo (or, as she calls it: "Rhino Rampage") and creating crazy concoctions with spices, baking ingredients and food coloring. Her final project was a very strange-smelling "chocolate pudding" with meatballs in it. Yum!

After our Thanksgiving lunch and November birthday celebration, the guys played a serious football game on the front lawn. I couldn't resist capturing the style and sportsmanship of our fellas in this photo. Nice form, Wardy!

At the end of the day, we all cuddled up in our jammies and relaxed at our cozy casa. Here's Leila with her Blabla, Chloe (thanks, Aunt Marcia). She loves having her own toys and dolls to hug and, well, eat. Everything goes in her mouth now that she's teething!

Happy holidays, one and all!