Snow Day

Today we experienced a virtual blizzard, with over a foot of snow blanketing the entire metro area. Most (if not all) schools we closed, and many businesses were dark and quiet.

Snow plows were so busy on the arterial roads that they did not get to the residential areas. As a result, getting around was very tricky. Because most of our 'hood is uphill, people without 4-wheel drive were out of luck. We now have dozens of cars parked at the entrance, where neighbors bailed and hoofed it to their homes.

Of course, we tried to make the best of the snow day. Once it finally stopped snowing, we ventured outside. Liliana kept diving into the snow like it was water. And for some reason, she could not stop eating it! Every time I looked at her, she had a mouthful of snow. After several attempts at curtailing the behavior, I cautioned her about the yellow and brown snow...and let her enjoy the new sensation.

Wade worked from home today. When he went out to clear our driveway, he was startled to find a hug snow barricade blocking his car. After further deliberation, Wade realized that the obstacle was definitely man-made. A short investigation revealed that two of our crazy neighbors (you know who you are, Clay & Steve) rolled snow all the way down the street to create a massive barricade. At left: Wade is pictured lifting a small part of the structure and moving it into the yard.

What an adventure!

Don't Push Send

My all-time favorite artist, Carrie Newcomer, humorously capturing a more recent social phenomena. If you've ever regretted a hasty click of the "send" button, you will definitely relate...

I was introduced to Carrie's rich, angelic vocals back in 1990 at DePauw University, where she performed at "The Hub." Although The Hub is long gone, my love for Carrie remains as strong as ever. Her albums are the staple in my philharmonic wardrobe. Carrie eloquently blends real-life experience with wise observation and powerful emotion. As the chapters of my own life unfold, I am deeply impacted by the beauty and truth in Carrie's words. Her songs grip my heart like nothing else.

In the Know

Some of our good friends just delivered their precious baby boy (and boy, is he adorable)! They're the only real people we know who have successfully adopted embryos. What a beautiful thing. Should we decide to proceed, we will use the same medical group, the National Embryo Adoption Center. Click on the preceeding link to take a looksee!

Embryo Adoption

As we wait to be matched for adoption through Bethany, we are revisiting the prospect of embryo adoption. It's a fairly new process, in which families adopt donated embryos from couples who had more than they needed for IVF. The adoptive mother then goes through FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer), almost identical to what we experienced last July. Although we researched "snowflake" adoption several months ago, our interest has been renewed--and it continues to grow as we encounter adoption situations that involve exposure to harmful substance and/or little prenatal care. Please pray that God would grant us wisdom and guidance as we consider all of the adoption possibilities.

Blessings,
Ramona

Adoption Excitement

I am thrilled to report that Wade and I submitted our profile for another adoption situation. This one is very exciting for us--a healthy baby girl with good prenatal care and no drug exposure during the pregnancy. And we'll be one of only 19 families considered by the expectant parents. Much better odds than the more difficult situation we accepted (which we assume wasn't a match after two weeks of silence).

Our prayer is that God brings our little one home soon. Our hearts are bursting to love and care for another child, and Liliana is ready to welcome her brother or sister.

Blessings all around,
Ramona

A Special Shout Out

Happy Birthday, Wade!

Lots of love on your day,
Ramona

Back To Life

Life is back to normal now that Liliana is potty trained. I know there will be accidents from time to time, but she's already very confident and consistent--nothing but victory for the past two days. Praise the Lord! I developed a serious case of cabin fever during OPT, so it was so wonderful just to get out of the house and run errands today. We both needed a change of scenery.

I'm so ready for spring--warmer weather, green grass, colorful flowers, birds chirping and outdoor activities. I know winter has a great purpose, but I'd be perfectly happy with one day of the cold stuff. I guess I'm just a warm-weather kind of gal. Who's with me?!

Bring on the spring! Ramona

OPT: Day Four

Yippee! Liliana is on a roll! She put all of the numbers where they belonged today, without a single accident. She even took care of business during a couple of more difficult situations. Also, Liliana is no longer having so many false-alarms at nap & bedtime. Today she actually followed through every time but one. Another step in the right direction. We no longer have a need for the timer, and jelly beans are out the window tomorrow!

I am so thankful that Liliana is gaining confidence and consistency. I can feel my stress level decreasing by the hour. It wasn't fun to have potty on the brain every second of the day. Whew! I forgot how tough it is to be on high-alert 24/7. I guess this is sharpening me for the upcoming months of caring for an infant. Bring on the sleepless nights!

Please pardon my four days of potty-mouth. I hope and pray I have written my last post about pee. Thanks for sticking with me through OPT. Hope your weekend was filled with good things!

Ramona

OPT: Day Three

Day three of OPT has been a success. Although my big girl had one big (and messy) accident at naptime, the rest of the day was perfect. Wade and I are so thankful that this transition has been relatively smooth.

It seems that our biggest challenge will be nap & bedtime. While we want to honor her requests to go potty before bed--and the first hour or so thereafter--we're finding that she asks five or six times before falling asleep. The frequent and unproductive trips are testing our patience (the cabin fever doesn't help), but we don't want to say no when she may really have to go. It's difficult to know where to draw the line. Seasoned parents, feel free to weigh in.

Thankful and exhausted,
Ramona

OPT Update (W/ Addendum)

My little champ is staying consistent on her second day of potty training. She had a couple of accidents first thing in the morning, and the rest of the day has been filled with successes. All of her #2's have made it in the water. Hooray for that! In fact, she seems to be most confident in that area (if you get my drift).

After Liliana awoke from another 3+ hour nap with a dry pull-up, we got a little bold. Against friendly advice, we took Liliana to the grocery store and Walgreens. We knew it was a gamble, but I just HAD to get out of the house (I haven't left in over two days). I packed an extra change of clothes, and we were off! Our outing lasted about an hour, and Liliana did not have an accident. This is going much better than I anticipated. Yahoo!

We also have some adoption situations to consider. One looks very promising (Yippee!!), while the other is out of our range. It's very exciting to have possibilities as we wait. Instead of feeling like I'm sitting on my hands, it seems like we're doing something. That's a good thing.

Tootaloo!

The Score

At the end of the day, the score is...

Potty: 12 (#1 & #2)
Floor: 1
Pull-up (during nap):1

After an accident first thing in the morning, Liliana pottied like a champ. I'm so proud of her--so proud. What more could a Mommy want? Okay, maybe a decrease in the frequency would be nice. But other than that...an all-around great day. I am both thrilled and exhausted!

In the midst of learning to use the little girls' room, Liliana said the funniest things! As I was trying to monitor her first successful attempt, she bluntly said, "Leave me alone." Standing outside the door, I politely explained the term "privacy" and reminded her of good manners. She finished her business, and all was well. The next time she went in the bathroom (and every time thereafter), Liliana confidently asked, "Mommy, may I please have a little privacy?"

The word for the day was definitely independence. From her disdain for the timer to her strong desire for privacy, this day was all about gaining independence and mastering control of her little body. Way to go, Liliana!

A side note: I did not give additional liquids or salty foods. I attribute her frequent trips to the sweet taste of being a big girl and the even sweeter taste of Jelly Bellies. Rest assured, the treats are out the door by Sunday.

Thanks for your encouragement and advice!

OPT: Progress

Liliana is napping peacefully. What a relief. This potting training thing is exhausting! (Calgon, take me away. By the way, does that brand even exist anymore?)

At this point, the score is Potty: 1 Floor: 1 [That's progress!]

Following my last post, I tweaked the strategy. After Liliana protested the 30-minute intervals several times--to the point of tears, I realized that the schedule was (in her mind) insulting her intelligence. It really seemed like she saw it as an affront to her ability to recognize the urge. And I didn't want avoidable negativity to affect Liliana's progress. So, to keep the experience positive and capitalize on Liliana's desire for control...I dropped the mandatory perches on the potty and used the intervals as gentle reminders. So far, so good.

Of the 100 schools of thought on potty training, all of them disagree and none of them take into account my daughter's specific personality. You'd think the so-called experts would have it figured out by now! So, until there's a tried and true method, I'll just use the most helpful hints and trust my instincts.

Liliana's nap is now approaching the three-hour mark. I haven't heard a peep since I closed her door. If I didn't know better, I'd say she's just hiding in her room and pretending to sleep in order to avoid this new challenge. But I know that's not the case. My girl never met a challenge she didn't lick!

Stay tuned...

OPT: The Next Phase

After receiving lots of helpful feedback, we've decided to take Operation Potty Train to the next level. In fact, boot camp started this morning! As of 8:00am, diapers are out and undies are officially in. Of course, she'll wear pull-ups to bed. As a defense tactic, I rolled up the rugs and lined the sofa with towels. No, I didn't cover the floor with newspapers (although the thought crossed my mind).

I'm taking Liliana to the potty every 30 minutes. In the past, she's always responded positively to a timer (because it's not Mommy telling her what to do). However, she's been protesting loudly, saying "There's nothing in there!" or "No way I can do it right now!" I'm hopeful that her attitude will become more positive as the day goes on. After following our strict regimen for two hours, she has refused to let even a trickle fall in the water.

At 10:30am, the score is: Potty: 0 Floor: 1

Yes, this is quite the riveting situation. I know everyone is on the edge of their seats with Liliana's potty-training efforts, so I'll try to post regular updates.

Keep the great ideas coming! Since potty training isn't my area of expertise (and since all of the articles and books contradict one another), it's nice to get so many helpful hints!

Classified Information

We're beginning phase one of "Operation Potty Train" this week. Our mission: to finally say, "Good riddance!" to $35 boxes of Huggies Size 6. After months of hinting, looking at an ugly plastic potty chair and regular showings of "I Can Go Potty," Liliana recently became interested in putting the numbers where they belong.

(Cue the chorus)
Halleluiah!

It seems that this may be our opportunity to finally reach this elusive milestone. So far, the mission has resembled fireworks. It started with a bang, but quickly fizzled out.
Monday Liliana had two successful rounds of #1 and #2 on the big porcelain chair, with a soft Backyardigans attachment to prevent her from going swimming. She initiated both potty successes (thus kicking off our mission).

Yesterday was a different story. We wanted to go for the gusto, so we changed things up. We started with a pull up diaper to make it easier for her to take care of business. Apparently it felt too much like a regular diaper, because the thing was wet and yellow--despite reminders at 30-minute intervals.

Next we tried undies. The first go 'round, she started to pee and caught herself midstream. After successfully finishing the deed on the potty, we stuck with the strategy. Less than 20 minutes later, she came running in my direction, leaving an unpleasant trail of wetness in her path. When I finished taking care of her soggy pants, I found (the hard way) that the sofa was the original scene of the crime. Into the bath went Liliana, and into the laundry went two pairs of pants (hers and mine).

After that, I thought it best to reinstate Monday's blueprint for success. I put her diaper back on, reminded her to use the potty and took away the pressure. The result: nothing, nada, zilch. Today has been just the same.

A side note: We tried potty-training about six weeks ago, and it seemed that Liliana hadn't mastered the ability to "hold it" for any reasonable length of time. She tinkled every time she had the urge--at least five times in the first two hours. After covering the floor with pee, we realized that she wasn't ready.

So, now we have a dilemma. Do we abort mission and wait for her to show more signs of readiness? Do we go back to undies and let the pee fall where it may? While I want this to happen when she's ready, I also don't want to miss the golden opportunity. Seasoned parents, you are welcome to provide feedback and tricks of the trade!

A Contagious Smile

I love the unique angle of this photo and the way it shows the sweet curves of my baby's face. Unfortunately, it also shows the puffy, pink remnants of her recent conjunctivitis. But we cherish these moments and the pictures that come with it, sickness and all!

My Valentine

Here's my funny valentine in her favorite outfit--jammies! She wants to be "comfy and cozy" all the time and even requests to stay in her PJs when we leave the house. Sometimes we honor her request. In fact, we both went to the store in our jammies on Friday evening. And I'm not talking about something that resembles normal clothing--I'm talkin' hot pink monkey PJs! Sometimes it's fun to cast your cares aside and be a little silly!

Adoption Situation

We've had some excitement around here the past couple of days. While we've been nursing Liliana back to health (after a big, bad case of pink eye and upper respiratory infection), we've also been deliberating about an adoption situation. We were given 48 hours (the deadline was noon today) to consider the information presented to us and make a determination whether to take the next step.

It's difficult to describe the process we just went through--and what we undergo each time we receive a situation from our social worker at Bethany. In order to understand our thoughts and emotions, you'll need to know the kind of information we receive. Although I don't plan to share all future descriptions, I thought it would be helpful for you to see one example. Here's what we received Wednesday, exactly as it was written:

Due Date - 3/15/08
Gender/Race of Baby- Female, Caucasian
Description - Expectant mom is receiving prenatal care. She is choosing not to name the birthfather. Legal risk period will be 30 days after birth. She reports no drug or alcohol use during the pregnancy, but has struggled with drug addiction in the past. Expectant mom has been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, Mixed Personality Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, and ADHD. The second diagnosis can be described as an unspecified disorder that does not meet diagnostic criteria for a specific personality disorder. She has been on antidepressant medication during pregnancy, closely monitored by her doctor. Also, the expectant mother's biological mom has bipolar disorder. Expectant mother wants baby to be placed outside of the state. She would like pictures and letters of baby as baby grows up.

(This is an out-of-state adoption situation. I specifically chose not to share the location in order to ensure the privacy of the birth mother.)

When I initially read the description, I felt a mixture of excitement and concern. Although I was happy to see no reports of drug, alcohol or nicotine use during pregnancy, I had to acknowledge the slight risks associated with prescription antidepressant medications. Of greater concern was the family history of mental disorders. As mental health professionals, Wade and I understand all of the diagnoses involved, and we have seen these struggles first hand. We also know that the predispositions for mental disorders are inherited (just like heart disease and other physical illnesses). However, having a disease in the family is no guarantee that the child will also suffer from the illness. The predisposition may be present, but a nurturing and supportive environment can limit or completely prevent the symptoms.

My other major concern was the fact that no information was presented about the baby's father. Because we don't know anything, we have to be ready for everything. As Wade and I discussed all of the possibilities, we realized that there's always going to be a leap of faith involved. We're never going to know every piece of information, and we ultimately have to leave the baby's future health in God's hands.

As we wrestled with our major concerns, we also had to consider several other factors: the timing of this placement, required out-of-state travel, financial preparations and the level of openness desired by the birth mother. The travel isn't a huge issue, because we have friends in the birth mother's area. Although it would require planning and time off for Wade, we'd be able to handle it. The due date is just around the corner, but we've been preparing for months. To be honest, we were ready yesterday! Financially, we still are still working to acquire the necessary funds without incurring debt. However, we'll take out a loan if need be. As far as the mother's desire for pictures and letters is concerned, we're happy to oblige. And we'd be thrilled with a boy or a girl, so gender is not a deciding factor.

After careful and prayerful deliberation, we felt led to proceed. With this decision comes the willingness to welcome this child into our family...very soon. Additionally, we must prepare to travel on short notice at least twice, possibly for upwards of two weeks at a time. Finally, we must do what it takes financially.

So what happens next? Sometime next week, the expectant mother will view our profile. In this particular situation, the mother may view literally hundreds of profiles (this is not typical--usually 5-7 profiles are shown). Because 75 Bethany offices received the situation, and each office sent out the info to all of their actively waiting families--this expectant mother could have 75+ booklets by next week. That's a huge number of families to consider! Since the baby's due date is only a month away, I'm sure she'll be making her decision as quickly as possible. If it's a match, we should know right away. If it's not, we may not hear anything for a couple of weeks.

The situation is now out of our hands and completely resting in God's. He led us to this point, and now all we can do is wait. We know that He has set this child apart for a specific family, and He will make the perfect match. Should He choose our home, we will be ecstatic. Should it be another, we will have total peace. Please pray that God's will be done in this situation and that we continue to honor and glorify Him throughout this process.

Blessings to all! Ramona

Happy Valentine's Day!

Don't send a lame Valentine's Day eCard. Try JibJab Sendables!

A Little N.O. in the STL

After experiencing Mardi Gras, we just had to bring a taste of the festivities back to St. Louis. Of course, that meant a party, a king cake and lots of beads, doubloons, cups and toys. Since it was a last-minute celebration, the crowd was small...but still plenty of fun! Pictured above are the gals: Stacy, Chris, Shauna, Missy, Mona and Torie.

Here are the guys: Wade, Clay, Tim, Jim and Ben. Once again, the camera caught Wade dreaming about king cake...or beignets...or chocolate.

And last, but not least, the kiddies: Grace, Joshua, Liliana, Nick-Nic, Alyce, Caden, Tyler and Peyton. They were definitely the life of the party, especially at 10:00am. Next time, we'll have an evening shindig. It's difficult to get into the carnival spirit first thing in the morning.

More Mardi Gras Fun

Beads, beads and more beads! Stuart, Carter and Cole model their Mardi Gras goodies. Each year, we catch hundreds of fistfulls of beads and assorted goodies during the parades. We keep the unique throws and share the rest with our friends and family. This year, we had more than enough to go around!

All hail the king! Here's our neighbor, Clay, who had the good fortune to find a tiny baby in his cake. Here's the story of the King Cake...

The King Cake is a brioche-style cake traditionally made throughout the State of Louisiana during the weeks prior to Mardi Gras. Usually oval in shape, the King Cake is a bakery delicacy made from a rich Danish dough (which is a sweetened yeast bread...a cross between a coffee cake and a French pastry) and covered with a poured sugar topping decorated in the traditional Mardi Gras-colored sugars of purple (symbolizing Justice), green (symbolizing Faith) and gold (symbolizing Power). This colorful topping is representative of a jeweled crown in honor of the Three Wise Men who visited the Christ Child on Epiphany (a word derived from the Greek meaning "to show"). Epiphany, also known as Twelfth Night (i.e., January 6) is when the Carnival Season officially begins.

The King Cake tradition is believed to have begun with French settlers around 1870, who were themselves continuing a custom which dated back to Twelfth Century France, when a similar cake was used to celebrate the coming of the Magi twelve days after Christmas bearing gifts for the Christ Child. This celebration was also once known as King's Day. As a symbol of this Holy Day, a tiny plastic baby (symbolic of the baby Jesus) is placed inside each King Cake but in times gone past, the hidden items were usually coins, beans, pecans or peas.

Today, the cakes are baked in many shapes but originally, they were round to portray the circular route take by the Magi in order to confuse King Herod, whose army was attempting to follow the Wise Men so that the Christ Child could be killed. The origin of the modern King Cake can be traced back to the Middle Ages, when popular devotion during Christmas turned to the Three Wise Men. In 1871, the tradition of choosing the Queen of Mardi Gras was determined by who drew the prize within the cake. Today, such a find is still deemed to be a sign of good fortune and it is customary for the person who discovers the hidden plastic baby to host the next King Cake Party. (Info from novareinna.com.)

Like a Good Neighbor

I've said it before, and I'll say it again...

Our little subdivision is the best! Friday night, a group of us neighbor gals got together for an evening out. We arrived at 6:30pm and closed the place down! We had the best time--just talking. We discussed current events, our husbands, our children, our jobs, our faves and just about everything under the sun. The night was so much fun that we've already planned our next one!

Thanks for a great evening, ladies!

French Quarter

About ten minutes ago, I received the rest of the Mardi Gras photos. Normally I take all of the photos, but I was on strike during this trip. Suffice it to say that the strike is officially over. Anyway, I wanted to give everyone a better glimpse into the Carnival scene before moving on to the latest and greatest of St. Louis life. So, here you go!

Above: Liliana on my lap, Wade, Sarah (Wade's sis) and Victor outside Cafe du Monde, famous for their beignets (square doughnuts with piles of powdered sugar). Below: our little family enjoys large amounts of sugar. From the look on Wade's face, he was definitely on a sugar high!

More N'awlins Pix

The "W" gals on St. Charles Avenue.

Wade with his wife, bro and sis.

The performer bewilders Liliana.

Even crocs are friendly during Carnival!

Precious moments in the midst of Mardi Gras.

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler!.

Let the good times roll! Here we are in N'awlins during Carnival. Liliana really had a great time, despite her "somebody save me" look in this photo!

We just returned from the Deep South, where we celebrated Carnival with family. Wade is from Mississippi, where (believe it or not) schools are closed for three days in recognition of Mardi Gras. We spent most of our time on St. Charles Avenue in New Orleans watching the parades & catching all kinds of crazy throws. Little ones were definitely the big winners as floats passed by. And Liliana was no exception. Here's a taste of the items she received: dozens of unique beads, cups, and doubloons; a baby doll; a $25 box of board books; a porcelain clown; and about 25 stuffed monkeys, jesters, and other assorted animals. After all was said and done, we brought home five heavy bags of loot. Plenty to share with friends and neighbors!

Happy Fat Tuesday!

Loving Motherhood

I heart motherhood! Never before have I learned so much or been so blessed. As I watch my daughter grow and develop, I stand in awe of how we are all so beautifully and wonderfully made. At only three years old, Liliana experiences the entire range of emotions, including empathy, compassion and intense love. It is one of the most fulfilling feelings in the world when I witness Liliana give, share and offer other gestures of kindness and friendship. Motherhood is a dream come true!

The Adventure Begins

Today we received our first email about an adoptive situation. Although it wasn't a match for us, we were happy to see that the lines of communication are open! I never expected that every email and phone call would elicit such emotional responses. What an adventure!

Holding Pattern

One of my favorite times of the day is when Wade comes home and spends one-on-one time with Liliana. Usually my ruffians play "chase" or "jail" or some other rowdy game, while Liliana laughs and squeals in delight. The photo above was taken during a mellow clay-molding activity. Wade made it more manly by incorporating a dinosaur and a prison. What's the deal with captivity around here?

On to adoption. We're officially in the full-service adoption program with Bethany Christian Services. Right now we're in a holding pattern. According to our social worker, Aimee, Bethany's domestic program is "a little slow" these days. When things pick up (and more expectant parents seek placement services), we'll be checking our email with great anticipation. From now on, Aimee sends us each available adoption situation for our perusal. After reviewing a specific situation, we determine whether we would like our profile to be presented to the birth parent. When an expectant parent views our portfolio and chooses us, a match is made. And that's how it works!

By the way, I would be remiss if I didn't give a loud shout-out to Jim J.--friend, neighbor and creative genius--who provided his expertise to make our profile absolutely gorgeous! It perfectly represents our family. Wade and I are so appreciative that we must now consider J.J. for our next child's name, whether it is a boy or a girl!

Blessings to all!

School already?

Earlier this week, our family went to an open house at Liliana's prospective school. Although she doesn't start until August or September, my heart already hurts a little. It seems so silly, but I know I'm going to miss her terribly while she's away.

Oh man, my baby's growing up! Since the day Liliana visited her classroom and met her teacher, we have been playing school in the morning. She puts on her backpack and carries her lunchbox around the house, pretending to be a student. No doubt, she'll adjust quickly--probably more quickly than Mommy! I'll be that mom who's always in the classroom for one reason or another, and Liliana will be asking me to go home.

Okay, maybe it won't be so dramatic, but I certainly will miss my girl. Leaving home for six hours is a big change when you've been with them 24/7 since birth! And we are tight--as tight as a 3-year-old and a 35-year-old can be. I'm sure I'll discover how nice it is to go to the gym or get a haircut in peace, and maybe I'll even look back at this and laugh. I know I'm not the only one who has experienced these feelings. What's the consensus out there, moms?

Reaching Closure

Wednesday was my post-miscarriage follow-up exam. According to Dr. Pineda, it appears that the healing process has begun. He sent me to the lab for a pregnancy test (of all things!) to check my hormone levels. When the HCG value drops to below five, it's considered to be "negative." I received the results yesterday, and my level was exactly five (thank you, Murphy). So I have to go back and have another blood draw this week to make sure it goes down one little point!

Although I'm not thrilled to donate more blood, I'm thankful to be on the road to recovery. Once the medical issues are cleared up (including the pathology report we have yet to receive), we will be able to close this chapter and completely focus on the present. That will be nice.

Once things get back to normal (about two months), I plan to leave Dr. Pineda's care and return to my original doc. Since we now know that it's possible to conceive naturally, we see no need to continue with a specialist. After hearing from hundreds of couples and experiencing five years of fertility treatments, I firmly believe that the term "unexplained" in the diagnosis of unexplained infertility means "there's no medical explanation, because it's in God' hands."

It's all in God's hands! Blessings,
Ramona

Lighthearted

Life has been heavy lately, so I'm lightening up today. Plus, we're way past due for some photos on this blog!

Since Liliana was itty-bitty, we've always enjoyed mommy-daughter dancing. Now that my sweet girl is getting so big (43 inches and 43 pounds), our dances are becoming shorter and shorter. A couple days ago, Wade snapped this photo as we danced around the room.




My pumpkin during bath time. She loves the water and would probably stay in the tub all day if I let her. This morning we went to the pool and splashed around. Her swimming skills have faded since last summer, so we'll have to refresh her memory during the coming months. It's only January, and I'm already pining for summer!

Our Ministry

As I recently shared, we have been called by God to adopt a child and to engage in adoption ministry. We do not use the term “ministry” to describe the process of adding to our family, nor do we use it to refer to a formal program. In its purest sense, ministry is the act of serving. In Christian circles, it is also defined as pointing others to Jesus…witnessing, serving and realizing the kingdom of God on earth.

To understand our role in the kingdom, it is helpful to broaden our terms. Everyday life is where real ministry takes place, where we make an impact on others. The faithful Christian lives not only for self and family, but also for neighbor and community. There, we become Christ to others, bestowing the love, acceptance, and forgiveness we have experienced in Him. We minister to our spouse and our children just as we do our neighbor or a stranger.

The Bible portrays the church as a body with every part essential and valuable. There are different functions within the body of Christ, but not higher and lower status. We are all called to the "work of ministry" (Ephesians 4:12). And we are all called to serve.

Wade and I are committed to adopting a child into our family and giving him or her the same love, affection and opportunities we give Liliana. Yes, there are sacrifices involved, but none that make us extraordinary or special. All parents and spouses sacrifice on a daily basis. And we know that the sacrifices of parenting will pale in comparison to the blessings we receive. Adoption is a gift and a privilege—and a beautiful way to add to our family. However, it is not just a means to an end. It is much greater than that.

We consider adoption to be a personal mission and part of our family ministry. Our view does not diminish the love we will share with our adoptive child—or their role as a full and permanent member of our family. Rather, the term “ministry” speaks to our conviction to further the cause of adoption in our our community. While continuing to educate others, we also plan to expand the resources available to other families considering adoption. Further, we hope to help our church establish a formal adoption ministry that will live on for generations.

Ministry can take many forms...and for us, it's about giving. It is listening with your heart, hearing the call, and answering with a lifetime of service.

In His grip,
Ramona

The Ministry of Adoption

Some have asked why we consider adoption to be a ministry and how we could consider loving an adopted child as our own. To shed some light on our views, here is a poignant article written by Brian Priest, pastor and adoptive father...

“Can you not have children of your own?” I bit my tongue as I responded to the question. “She is my own,” I replied. The usual reaction was given, “Oh. Well, you know what I mean.” Yes, I do know what that person and the countless others who have asked similar questions mean. They want to know if my wife and I are capable of having biological children. After all, don’t most people only adopt after exhausting all other means of starting a family?

As a Christian and an adoptive father I have a burden for the multitudes of orphaned children around the world. There are seemingly countless boys and girls that are desperately in need of a godly family to raise them. Yet, sadly, to a large extent they are passed by, unnoticed and unloved, even by Christians.

On one hand we rightfully oppose abortion by championing a child’s right to live. On the other we seem to overlook the fact that although life begins at conception, it also continues after birth. As Christians we have a responsibility not only to fight for a child’s right to live, but also for their right to grow up in a home with parents that love and nurture them.

At this point the questions and objections come easily: “But what can I do?”, “Isn’t adoption expensive?”, “I don’t think I could handle it.” To some extent the questions and objections that are often raised are valid, for the adoption process can be lengthy and difficult. Yet, I believe these objections are often based more on fiction than fact.

Most of us have probably heard the horror stories. “I knew someone who adopted and....” You fill in the blank. Ultimately, all the stories end the same. We hear of a family’s bad experience with an adoptive child and therefore conclude that it is a dangerous endeavor. The fallacy of this logic is obvious, for many families experience similar difficulties with biological children as well. Instead of listening to the myths and misconceptions concerning adoption, we need to listen to God and seek His will. It may not be the usual path, but starting or building a family through adoption is a God-honoring and blessed ministry.

With the anniversary of Roe vs. Wade, it is right for us to renew our fight for the unborn. However, as Christians we have experienced first hand the blessing of adoption into the family of God (Ephesians 1:5). Therefore, we should be leading the charge to contend for the future of the born as well as the unborn.

For many, it’s hard to imagine loving a child who is not biologically yours as your own son or daughter. I have been told that the way I love my daughter makes one think that she is “my own.” She was four months old the first time I had the privilege of holding her, and I can assure you of one thing – there could have been no greater love in my heart for her. She is my forever daughter, regardless of what biology tells me.

I am thankful to know that my heavenly Father, who not only created me, but also adopted me as His own son, will never look at me as someone else’s child. Rather, He will love me for all eternity as His very own. Clearly, adoption requires sacrifice, but we shouldn’t forget what God sacrificed to adopt us. As Christians, it’s time to ask ourselves what we are doing to fulfill the ministry of adoption.

A Letter from Wade and Ramona

Dear friends and family-

We wish to take a moment to thank you and share some exciting news! You have been so gracious in our most pressing times of need. By faithfully praying for us, you have richly blessed our lives...and we continue to be uplifted by your love.

We recently received word that we are moving from the waiting list to the Full-Service Infant Adoption Program at Bethany Christian Services. This is an exhilarating time for us! Our hearts are overjoyed about the prospect of meeting the precious baby God has set apart for us, and we are so grateful to Him for leading us down this path. Although our journey has sometimes been difficult and filled with sorrow, we have gained great insight, humility, compassion and strength. And we are confident that even greater blessings lie ahead!

God has called us to the ministry of adoption, and it is a life-long commitment we are ready to honor. At this point, we could be matched with a child at any given moment. Our hearts and home are prepared to welcome the newest member of our family; however, due to the unexpected speed of our adoption process, we have not acquired all of the necessary funding.

It is no secret that adoption costs are substantial, and Bethany’s fees are on the low end of the spectrum at $17,500 per adoptive child. We are working diligently to finance this adoption, especially since a large sum is due at this moment. We are slashing our budget, auctioning items on eBay, increasing our work hours, applying for grants, researching loans and praying for a windfall. ;) Although we feel we are facing a proverbial “giant,” we trust that the Lord will provide the resources for this ministry.

After prayerful consideration and hours of wise counsel—and since need is great and time is short—we have decided to establish an adoption fund. Rather than sell “I ♥ adoption” T-shirts or offer Liliana’s babysitting services (although she’s really very good with her doll-babies), we thought we should give our friends and family an opportunity to share in the blessings of adoption in a real, tangible way. If you feel led, please consider contributing to our adoption fund. All gifts will be used strictly for adoption-related expenses. Donation details are provided on the right side of the page.

Considering the challenges we have already overcome (by God's grace and your support), we truly hope you share in our excitement. It's so amazing that God already knows the child He has chosen for us, and we are eager to be completely faithful to what He is calling us to do.

To be very honest, we are stepping way out of our comfort zone even writing this letter. We are much more enthusiastic about our upcoming lifetime of giving than this season of receiving. Nevertheless, we are willing to humble ourselves in order to provide a loving home for a child in need--and to illustrate why we call ourselves adopted children of God. We desire that any contributions you wish to make be not out of compulsion, but purely out of the joy in your heart.

Most importantly, we ask you to please pray that our loving and faithful God will be glorified in our lives and through this process. We are truly grateful to Him for you and your loving support and encouragement. Thank you so much for sharing this journey with us. We look forward to seeing how God enriches all of our lives through this ministry!

With heartfelt gratitude,
Wade and Ramona

Quick Note

I've intended to post more frequently, but my leisure time has been virtually nonexistent lately. We've been working on adoption preparations during every spare moment! I'll be sharing a comprehensive update this weekend. Blessings!

My Current Fave

Bubbly by Colbie Caillat

Friendship

Friends are an indispensable part of a meaningful life. They are the ones who share our burdens and multiply our blessings. A true friend sticks by us in our joys and sorrows. In good times and bad, we need friends who will pray for us, listen to us and lend a comforting hand. ~Beverly LaHaye

Our friends have been beacons of light in the dark moments of sorrow. We are eternally grateful for the encouraging words and thoughtful gestures of our dear friends--those in our church, our neighborhood, across the country and in our family.

In God's wisdom, He frequently chooses to meet our needs by showing His love toward us through the hands and hearts of others. ~Jack Hayford

With humility and gratitude, Ramona

Our Updated Statistics

Months trying to conceive: 48
Cycles on Clomid or injectibles: 22
Months on progesterone: 31
IUI Cycles: 4
IVF Attempts: 3
Pregnancies: 5
Miscarriages: 4
Unborn Angels: 9
Children at Home: 1
Dollars invested: A mind-blowing number.
Tears shed: Countless.
Being a parent: Priceless.

Trusting, Hoping, Planning and Fundraising

We are in the process of recovering--both physically and emotionally--from our recent loss. As the moments pass by, our perspective gets clearer. We are at peace about where we are, and we even see some of the ways God is working through this situation. The fact that we were able to conceive naturally gives us hope that it could happen again, like the Lord whispering, "Don't give up." At the same time, our loss is a confirmation that He has great plans for our family's journey to adoption.

Wonderful news! We just received word that we will be moving into Bethany's active adoption program next week! With this change comes great excitement; we could be matched with a birth parent and meet our child at any time. Our new status also comes with additional requirements and the need for expedited planning. And because we were not expecting things to go this quickly, we also find ourselves with a greater financial need than anticipated.

Although we need to get busy, we are confident that everything will come together in God's perfect timing. We have already implemented additional streams of income (eBay selling and my new role as a parenting consultant). Now we must begin raising funds. We are are looking for effective fundraising ideas, and we'd love your input. Please pray that we will be ready (home, supplies, finances, documentation, travel) when the big moment arrives.

We appreciate your faithful prayers and continued support. We are especially thankful to our small group for a thoughtful gift card and to the Memmelaar, Snodgrass and Bauer families for delicious meals. We are so blessed!

Hope does not necessarily take the form of excessive confidence; rather, it involves the simple willingness to take the next step. ~Stanley Hauerwas

Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to an all-knowing God. ~Corrie Ten Boom

Blessings, Ramona

Recovering

My mind is foggy from pain and lack of sleep, but I want to express our deep gratitude for your ongoing prayers and support. The surgery was successful, and we're hoping that the pathology report yields information that helps us understand and treat my recurrent miscarriages.

In His grip,
Ramona

The Saga Continues

Today I had an ultrasound to gain a clearer understanding of my situation. The sonogram showed no sign of fetal growth or development. Dr. Pineda explained that the baby's growth has come to an end, but the tissue surrounding it is continuing to grow and produce hormones (hence, my increasing HcG level). As a result, my body has been acting as if the pregnancy is moving forward, when in fact, it has concluded.

Dr. Pineda further explained that, in cases like mine, it is possible for the tissue to attach to my body in a malignant way. In fact, the growing mass could quickly transform into an aggressive cancer. Consequently, the doc strongly encouraged us to schedule an immediate D & C to remove the tissue. Since the ultrasound gave us certainty that the baby is not alive and growing, we now feel comfortable proceeding. The D & C is scheduled for tomorrow at St. Luke's Hospital.

Coincidentally, I started experiencing cramping, sharp pain and substantial bleeding an hour after we returned home from the doctor's office. The miscarriage is now in progress, and it's possible that the tissue will pass during the night. Because we must have the fetus analyzed for pathology, we are hoping that the major tissue holds off until tomorrow. We'd much rather have the doctor preserve it for testing (rather than collect & store it ourselves). After what we've already been through, I'd rather not go there. Either way, the D & C will still be necessary in order to ensure that everything is complete and thorough.

Wade and I are emotionally drained and in need of encouragement and support. We would especially appreciate your prayers. A special thanks to Stacy for caring for Liliana during our appointment and hospital stay. We are so grateful for family and friends who never cease to amaze us with their kindness and generosity.

Blessings to all. ~Ramona

In God's Hands

Okay, so it's been 17 days of waiting for a miscarriage. Although I thought it was happening on January 1st, the hormone surge, cramping and bleeding did not manifest into more. My symptoms stopped that evening and my pregnancy symptoms continued. Almost every day since then, I've felt "on the verge" with spotting or mild bleeding...but still no miscarriage.

To rewind: On Friday, December 21st, my ultrasound revealed that our embryo appeared to be 5 weeks development (instead of 6 weeks) and labs showed that my HcG level slowed way down (when it should have been doubling every 48-72 hours). Because of those results, Dr. Pineda informed us that the pregnancy was ending and a miscarriage was just around the corner.

So here I am, more than two weeks later, after a very frustrating and emotional period of waiting. This morning I contacted Dr. Pineda's office to alert him of my situation. After learning the details, he sent me to the lab for blood tests to confirm that the hormone levels dropped. They call it a "missed miscarriage," where the body somehow misses the signals for a miscarriage and a surgical procedure (D&C) is necessary to remove the remains of the pregnancy.

When the nurse called this afternoon, I was shocked and confused to learn that my HcG level doubled to over 1600 since the 12/21 test. Apparently, the fetus is still alive and trying to grow, despite discontinuing the progesterone treatments. Because the baby has only achieved 48-hours of development in the past 17 days, it is clear that something is very wrong. As a result, the pregnancy is not considered viable. The bottom line: I am still pregnant, but my child is fighting a losing battle for survival.

I have experienced the entire spectrum of emotions today. Although the doctor recommends an immediate D&C to remove the tissue and placenta, I do not feel comfortable with the procedure until the pregnancy has ended on its own. I know the baby is not healthy, and I know the pregnancy is not viable...but I cannot terminate the pregnancy. I plan to wait until an ultrasound or blood test confirm that the growth has completely stopped. I know that this is prolonging the inevitable...but I do not feel right about ending the pregnancy with medical means.

As you may imagine, it is extremely difficult and disheartening to carry a child that is abnormal, unhealthy and destined to die. But as long as he or she is alive, my child is in God's hands. And though I will never hold this precious one, I rest in the knowledge that the Lord with take him home soon. I pray that these final days will pass quickly so that we may close this chapter and move on with the healing process. We find comfort in the fact that God is in control, and we continue to trust in His perfect timing.

Big-Girl Bed

Milestone: My baby is taking her first nap in her big-girl bed! I'm so proud of her for making the adjustment with minimal difficulty. Next step: potty training! We'll wait til we return from our Mardi Gras adventure to jump that hurdle.

Moved By Music

Here's what moves me.

God Speaking



Everything To Me



East to West

My Angel

I pulled Liliana's hair back into a ponytail so she could have "a pigtail like Mommy's." This is what I saw: the most precious face ever! And those dimples--what more could a girl want?! Even with remnants of caramel and sprinkles, this is the face of an angel. My angel.

Yesterday she said, "Mama, how are you feeling today?" Taken back with surprise and emotion, I responded with the plainest truth, "My throat hurts today, Sweetie." Her reply: "I'm sorry to hear that, Mama. Wish I can make you feel better." I told you she's an angel.

Adoption Profile

Great news! Our adoption profile now appears on Bethany Christian Services national website. If you are interested in having a looksie, visit http://www.bethany.org/ and click on "Family Profiles." Although we are currently in the networking program (which is a waiting list of sorts), we may move into the active adoption program at any moment. And if an expectant parent chooses us from the website, we will be fast-tracked into the active adoption phase. How exciting!

We are totally psyched about the prospect of being matched, and we hope to meet our child very soon (is tomorrow too much to ask?)! As we plan for the changes ahead, we can't help but wonder how God is going to bring all of the logistical aspects together. If you feel led, please pray for our financial resources as we juggle our current commitments and adoption fees. We're not sure how, but we know God will provide!

Here's to taking the next step, even though we can't see the entire staircase! ~Ramona

Sorrowful, But Always Rejoicing

Even in the midst of great sorrow, I have so many reasons to rejoice. As I look back over the past year, I celebrate my husband and best friend, my precious daughter, our family & friends and the valuable lessons I have learned. I am so grateful for opportunities to travel, the ability to adopt a child and a new avenue to utilize my expertise and counsel others. I praise God for our supportive church family, our friendly neighborhood, and our happy home. Finally, I give thanks for the trials that continue to refine my character and strengthen my faith.

New Year's Day

I should have written this morning when I was counting my blessings and dancing around the house, singing "Happy New Year!" But a couple hours ago, I was quickly jolted into a downward emotional spiral--thanks to the raging hormones that accompany miscarriage.

This is not my best hour. I'm so sad and disappointed and frustrated, partly due to losing another child and partly due to the poor timing. After 11 days of looming, the unwelcome event happens on New Year's Day. Come on, no one wants to start the new year with a miscarriage.

Part of me feels like I should just minimize the grief of this whole thing and focus on the blessings in my life. After all, there are so many things for which I am thankful. But the counselor in me knows the importance of allowing myself to "go there"--to experience the emotions in order for healing and closure to occur. So I'm going there, and it's not fun.

I guess this is a poignant reminder that we should expect real life every day--that holidays are not exempt from the brokenness of the world. It is a reminder that we need God all of the time. Of course, I already knew these things, but now I'm painfully aware.

And as I sit here--writing, reading, editing and experiencing the ebb and flow of emotion--I notice glimmers of joy and hope trying to push through the sorrow. I feel the hand of God holding me close, assuring me that everything will be alright. And as difficult as it is to lose a ninth child, I trust that this plan is good and His timing is perfect.

Romans 8:18 says: I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.

Here's to future glory. ~Ramona

More of Our Trip

Wade and Liliana at Shedd Aquarium with all kinds of sea creatures behind them. Liliana explored the life aquatic while Wade and I enjoyed catching up with dear friends, old and new. What a treat!

Two dolphins "wow" the crowd as they fly out of the water at the aquarium. Although the resolution isn't great, I was thrilled to capture such a cool trick on camera.

On Christmas Eve, my family plays a game in which each person draws a number and selects a gift in numerical order. Each player can choose a wrapped gift from the table or steal an attractive gift that has already been opened by someone else. After some silly shenanigans, this is the gift I received when all was said and done. Gotta love Mexican artists!

Here's my mom on Christmas morning. She made this stocking (along with one for each of her three children) many years ago. Notice the toes on the stocking. I still have mine, but it has definitely seen better days!

In Michigan, we stayed in an apartment above my cousins house. It's a wonderful home-away-from-home for us every year. Left: Liliana pretends to have "thorns" in her feet and asks Mommy to help retrieve them. What a nut!

At the end of our trip, we spent time with my mom and brother's family in Indiana. I made chili for the group, and Wade agreed to chop the onions for me. Poor baby cried all afternoon! (Kinda reminds me of that YouTube guy that cried about Britney.)

A Photographic Overview

Liliana enjoys the high life at Chicago's Hotel Intercontinental.



Kayleigh, Liliana, Andrew, Nathan, Luke and Madelyn get ready for the dolphin show at the Shedd Aquarium.

We hung out with Joe and Steve (my good pals from college) and their families at Shedd Aquarium. What a great time for one and all!

Christmas morning in Michigan. Our little family prepares to open Christmas stockings.

Liliana and her cousins eating "Queen of Wheat" for breakfast. Thanks to Grammy Joy for a great time in Indiana.

A Positive Note

Great news! Our adoption homestudy has been approved by Bethany Christian Services! Next week, our profile will be available to expectant parents on Bethany's national website. Hopefully we'll be chosen soon!

Random laughs: This morning Liliana asked for "Queen of Wheat" for breakfast. As she washed dishes with her Grammy Joy, Liliana started laughing and exclaimed, "That cracks me out!" What a riot.

Enjoy your day. ~Ramona

Bittersweet Holidays

We just finished the first leg of our Midwest Christmas tour. Our first stop was downtown Chicago, where we stayed at the Hotel Intercontinental. It was our family Christmas gift--what a treat! The next day, we met up with dear friends from college & grad school and explored the Shedd Aquarium. After a seeing the sea life and catching up with cronies, we headed up to Michigan for a family Christmas.

It has been a bittersweet holiday for us this year. While we greatly enjoy spending time with family, we are still adjusting to the news that our pregnancy has come to an end. Because the miscarriage has not occurred yet, it's difficult to find closure and move forward. To make things even more emotional, this was the first Christmas without my gramcracker (she passed away in August). We had a memorial for her Christmas morning, and yesterday I went to her home for the last time. It was very difficult to say good-bye.

I also had an opportunity to see my dad's side of the family. My grandma (our last living grandparent) isn't doing well, and she commented that she doesn't think she'll be around in a few months. That was hard to hear. In addition, my aunt gave me some items that belonged to my father, including an old version of his will. Talk about emotional!

On a more positive note, our adoption home study has been completed. As soon as it is approved by Bethany's supervisor, our profile will go up on the national BCS website. We are still the first family on the networking (waiting) list, so we'll move into the active matching program as soon as a spot opens up. We're praying that the process is smooth and quick, because our hearts are bursting to love another little one!

Thank you for your continued encouragement and prayers. We are so blessed to have such supportive friends. Happy Holidays! Ramona

Celebrating Life

It is Christmas eve, and in my family...it's a time for games, goodies and great celebration. As I join in the festivities, I can't help but reflect on the events of recent weeks. Even though we are in the midst of sorrow, I am thankful for the many blessings in my life. While continuing to know the great hope of adoption and the gift of parenthood, we also experienced a miraculous pregnancy and several weeks of expectant joy. Now that our pregnancy is coming to an end, I smile through the tears knowing that our ninth child is resting in the arms of the Lord.

This Christmas, I celebrate the loves we have known, and the love we have lost. Most of all, I celebrate the Savior.

May you know the the greatest love of all. Blessings, Ramona

The Lord Giveth and Taketh Away

Today we are grieving the loss of yet another child and preparing for a miscarriage in the midst of our Christmas plans. Yesterday's ultrasound revealed that the baby's development stopped somewhere around 5 1/2 weeks. Dr. Pineda requested lab tests to confirm what the sonogram images suggested, and we received the results at 9:30pm last night. Our tests showed that the HCG level only went up to 1332, instead of the desired 7200. As a result, the doc ordered that I discontinue my progesterone supplements to allow my body to recognize what has happened. Unfortunately, we should anticipate a miscarriage within the week.

Of course, we are deeply saddened by this turn of events. We hoped and prayed that this miraculous conception was a sign that we would know this precious child on earth. This is not how we had envisioned our holiday, but we know that God has a plan bigger and better than ours. And we are thankful that we had a brief opportunity to experience a pregnancy & the joy and anticipation that goes hand in hand.

We are ever grateful for your support, encouragement and intercession during this difficult time. We don't know what we would do without our family & friends...and our faith.

Peace with God brings the peace of God. It is a peace that settles our nerves, fills our mind, floods our spirit, and in the midst of the uproar around us, gives us the assurance that everything is alright. ~Bob Mumford

From our hearts to yours, have a blessed holiday weekend. ~Ramona

Holiday Happenings

Liliana has been opening one gift per day, leading up to the grand finale on Christmas day. Here is one of her favorites (mine, too). It's a FurReal pet chimpanzee that talks, drinks, burps and hiccups. So cute!

Last week, Liliana informed me that she does not like Santa Claus. Tonight Kris Kringle just happened to be at our neighbor's house, so we ventured out to join in the merriment. Even when Santa offered a toy, Liliana kept her distance. She seems to be smiling in this photo, but "happy" was not her sentiment about being in the same room with the jolly old fella.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

This is, hands down, the most wonderful time of the year. I love the holiday music, shining decorations, hustle & bustle and joyful, giving spirit that fills the air. Most of all, my heart sings to hear the name of Jesus so boldly proclaimed everywhere I go. For one month of the year, the words "God" and "Jesus" flow through the airwaves and store speakers without a second thought. I love it! If only every month could be celebrated this way!

Christmas, my child, is love in action...
When you love someone, you give to them, as God gives to us. The greatest gift He ever gave was the person of His Son, sent to us in human form so that we might know what God the Father is really like. Every time we love, every time we give, it's Christmas. ~Dale Evans Rogers

Of course, I am also thrilled to be experiencing this holiday season as an expectant mother. It is a precious blessing. Thank you, Lord! As our ultrasound approaches, I am filled with hope that this time will be different--that we will see the image of a healthy, thriving baby on the screen. Fortunately, my symptoms are strong, and my body seems to be telling me that all is well. I have never been so happy to have 24-hour nausea, heartburn, tender "parts," and an aching back! What an unexpected and glorious gift.

Here's to believing in miracles! Ramona

Winter Wonderland

This has been a wonderful winter day. We played in the snow, went sledding, enjoyed hot cocoa and learned that our pregnancy is cruising right along. Praise the Lord, all is well!

My HCG level was 1782, just a bit shy of the desired 1800 mark. My labs were done a couple hours earlier than normal, and that may account for slightly lower number. All in all, we are thrilled to know our baby is healthy. Although we still have a long way to go, this is a good sign. I'll be six weeks on Friday, and we have 0ur ultrasound at 2:20pm that day.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support. We are so grateful!

Lab Tests Tomorrow

The weekend is coming to a close, and I'm looking forward to the results of my blood tests tomorrow. Despite my not-so-hot bloodwork on Thursday, my pregnancy symptoms (especially nausea and sensitivity to smell) are going strong. I'm hopeful that the baby is experiencing healthy growth and development.

My HCG level was 452 on Thursday, which means it should be around 1800 tomorrow. God willing, it will be right on target (or higher). I'm praying for good news. I can't imagine that God would provide this incredible miracle, only to take it away. However, stranger things have been known to happen.

Right now, I'm thanking God for this pregnancy and praying that we will meet and know this child on earth.

In His grip,
Ramona

Christmas Party, Pregnancy & Adoption

Tonight we celebrated the holidays with church small group. Although just a few of us braved the elements (crazy amounts of snow), we had a ball together. The children played downstairs while the adults had great conversations and game time. The more we learn about our friends, the greater our love for our church family. What a blessing!

On to our pregnancy. Many people have been asking about our baby's due date. At this point, it looks like the pregnancy is five weeks along, which makes the due date in August. I'll know more on Monday. Despite the so-so lab results on Thursday, I've been experiencing many positive symptoms. So even though my heart is not at peace, I am optimistic that all is well.

It seems that inquiring minds also want to know if we're still planning to adopt. The answer: Absolutely! God has prepared our hearts for adoption, and we will continue the process regardless of what happens with the pregnancy. We've always desired a large family, and we will welcome and adore all of the children the Lord places in our family.

Please feel free to ask all of the questions you wish. We are happy to respond! Thank you so much for your encouragement and support. We appreciate it more than you know!

Stay safe, St. Louisans. ~Ramona

Updates

I just received my lab results from this morning. My progesterone level is great, thanks to the supplements. However, my HCG level is not as high as we had hoped. It is within the "normal" range, but somewhat on the low side. Please pray that this is just a temporary lull...and that all is well with our growing baby. I'll have another lab test on Monday morning. So, it's time to wait and pray (the story of my life). Thankfully, our calendar is full, and I have plenty of distractions.

I must admit that I'm taking this news pretty hard, even though everything may be fine. Things tend to have a negative slant due to our history of miscarriages & loss. Plus, my emotions are running high after being at the hospital & seeing my friend Kate. She is experiencing a difficult complication following her brain surgery. Please pray that she would quickly and fully regain motor control on her left side. For more info on her status, visit http://katesnodgrass.blogspot.com Her situation is very close to my heart.

Thank you so much for your support and encouragement. I feel like a basket case today!

Blessings,
Ramona

Reeling

I'm still reeling from our news yesterday. I feel like taking another pregnancy test just to make sure I wasn't dreaming. Thankfully, I have another blood test tomorrow to monitor my hormone levels. The results will be a much-needed confirmation, since this is such an unbelievable (but very welcome) situation!

Since this is a "high risk" pregnancy, we will undergo many tests and ultrasounds during the next weeks and months. Hopefully we will have nothing but good news and praise! I am so thankful for the well-wishing calls and emails we've already received. We especially appreciate your prayers. Thank you so much for praying on our behalf!

Liliana is so excited about her new brother or sister. She touches my tummy and says, "the baby is cute and cuddly!" Liliana is such a blessing to our family, and I can't wait to see what a nurturing and adoring big sister she'll be. Praise God for her and for this new miracle!

On to another subject close to my heart. I am currently at Kate's house with Stuart and Liliana, while Sandy (Kate's mom) is at the hospital. Stuart is napping and Liliana is enjoying the boys' toys. Although my pregnancy exhaustion is hitting me hard today, I'm glad to be able to serve my friends. If you feel led, please lift up Kate's health to the Lord. She has been in surgery since a little after 11:00am. Her spirits were bright & her sense of humor intact, but this is a heavy and serious surgery. It is my prayer that she be completely healed through this surgery and that her personality remains unchanged. Thanks a million for your prayers.

I praise God for our wonderful blessing and for caring for Kate as she is in the hospital. ~Ramona

Holiday Miracle

Every day holds the possibility of a miracle.
Nothing is impossible with God. ~Luke 1:37

I stand before you humble, amazed and honored to share a Christmas miracle. For so long we have hoped and prayed, waited and trusted. And in God's glorious timing, He has granted us the desire of our hearts. Yes, my friends, we are expecting a child! (Cue Halleluiah chorus.)

It has taken the entire day and three pregnancy tests for the reality to sink in. Part of me still doesn't believe it. At this point, my hormone levels look good. Progesterone was the exception, but it's always the black sheep..so I started a prescription supplement today. While Wade and I are absolutely thilled, we must also remain cautious. Keep in mind this is my fifth pregnancy, and we have eight unborn children in heaven. So we're taking it day by day, and we're calling for prayer.

Please boldly lift up this tiny life to our Lord. Pray that s/he is healthy and remains so to term. Please pray that my body will support this pregnancy, and that we will meet this child & know him/her on earth. We thank you, in advance, for your prayers and support.

While you're on your knees, please remember my friend, Kate, who will undergo brain surgery tomorrow. My heart is with her. Click the following link to read her prayer requests: http://katesnodgrass.blogspot.com/

All praise and glory to God, with whom nothing is impossible! ~Ramona

Presents and Prayer

I'm an "it's better to give than to receive" kind of gal. In fact, I spend weeks--sometimes months--preparing special gifts to celebrate Christmas. Tonight I completed about 20 hand-made (not your grade school homemade, but your high-tech-with-a-personal-touch homemade) gifts. It's such a beautiful thing to see the finished result of hours of left & right brain collaboration. Just like a child pines for Santa, I'm looking forward to delivering these presents to my family members. 14 days and counting! Now that this giant project is complete, I can rest easy tonight.

Tomorrow night will be a different story. My dear friend is having brain surgery on Wednesday, and my mind and heart are with her. If you are so inclined, please pray for Kate--for successful surgery, no complications, total healing, and quick recovery. Also, please lift up her husband and three boys, that the Lord will grant them comfort, peace and rest. I know that God is working in their lives through this trial, and I praise Him for the blessings that continue to shine through.

In His service,
Ramona

Faith

Today's quote in my Day Brighteners book is simple, but profound.
I'd like to share it with you...

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase. ~Martin Luther King Jr.

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. ~Hebrews 11:1

May our faith grow and deepen with each passing day of this advent season. In Him, Ramona

Our Profile

Tomorrow is our home visit and final interview with Bethany Christian Services. After that, our home study will be complete! By the grace of God, we have had the diligence to tackle the agency's many requirements in the midst of this busy season. As a result, we will soon be off the networking program (waiting list) and in the active adoption program. That's music to our ears! Above is the primary photo that will appear on our online profile, which will go on Bethany's website as soon as our home study is approved.

At this point, we would like to share our personal adoption page at http://wadeandramona.blogspot.com/. Should you know an expectant parent who is considering adoption for their baby, we invite you to refer them to our site. Quite often, matches are made through friends or family...so we're involving our network--YOU!

As we wait to meet the child God has chosen for our family, our love for one another continues to grow...and so does our ability to trust the Lord's timing. This process has been (and still is) a wonderful opportunity to work on our virtues, especially patience, perseverance, flexibility and determination. We are thankful that God has brought us to this place in our lives, and we look forward to seeing how this situation will reveal His goodness and glory.

Many blessings to you! Ramona

Hustle and Bustle

Do you ever feel like you're juggling so many projects that you need to pull a college all-nighter to catch up? I do. Between new clients, adoption preparations, household duties, event planning, Christmas shopping and caring for family & friends, I'm continually moving and shaking! Now I'm trying to add Christmas photos & cards to the mix. This is a busy season, alright! And I love it, every single stressful moment! 'Tis the Season!