Embryo Adoption

As we wait to be matched for adoption through Bethany, we are revisiting the prospect of embryo adoption. It's a fairly new process, in which families adopt donated embryos from couples who had more than they needed for IVF. The adoptive mother then goes through FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer), almost identical to what we experienced last July. Although we researched "snowflake" adoption several months ago, our interest has been renewed--and it continues to grow as we encounter adoption situations that involve exposure to harmful substance and/or little prenatal care. Please pray that God would grant us wisdom and guidance as we consider all of the adoption possibilities.

Blessings,
Ramona

Adoption Excitement

I am thrilled to report that Wade and I submitted our profile for another adoption situation. This one is very exciting for us--a healthy baby girl with good prenatal care and no drug exposure during the pregnancy. And we'll be one of only 19 families considered by the expectant parents. Much better odds than the more difficult situation we accepted (which we assume wasn't a match after two weeks of silence).

Our prayer is that God brings our little one home soon. Our hearts are bursting to love and care for another child, and Liliana is ready to welcome her brother or sister.

Blessings all around,
Ramona

A Special Shout Out

Happy Birthday, Wade!

Lots of love on your day,
Ramona

Back To Life

Life is back to normal now that Liliana is potty trained. I know there will be accidents from time to time, but she's already very confident and consistent--nothing but victory for the past two days. Praise the Lord! I developed a serious case of cabin fever during OPT, so it was so wonderful just to get out of the house and run errands today. We both needed a change of scenery.

I'm so ready for spring--warmer weather, green grass, colorful flowers, birds chirping and outdoor activities. I know winter has a great purpose, but I'd be perfectly happy with one day of the cold stuff. I guess I'm just a warm-weather kind of gal. Who's with me?!

Bring on the spring! Ramona

OPT: Day Four

Yippee! Liliana is on a roll! She put all of the numbers where they belonged today, without a single accident. She even took care of business during a couple of more difficult situations. Also, Liliana is no longer having so many false-alarms at nap & bedtime. Today she actually followed through every time but one. Another step in the right direction. We no longer have a need for the timer, and jelly beans are out the window tomorrow!

I am so thankful that Liliana is gaining confidence and consistency. I can feel my stress level decreasing by the hour. It wasn't fun to have potty on the brain every second of the day. Whew! I forgot how tough it is to be on high-alert 24/7. I guess this is sharpening me for the upcoming months of caring for an infant. Bring on the sleepless nights!

Please pardon my four days of potty-mouth. I hope and pray I have written my last post about pee. Thanks for sticking with me through OPT. Hope your weekend was filled with good things!

Ramona

OPT: Day Three

Day three of OPT has been a success. Although my big girl had one big (and messy) accident at naptime, the rest of the day was perfect. Wade and I are so thankful that this transition has been relatively smooth.

It seems that our biggest challenge will be nap & bedtime. While we want to honor her requests to go potty before bed--and the first hour or so thereafter--we're finding that she asks five or six times before falling asleep. The frequent and unproductive trips are testing our patience (the cabin fever doesn't help), but we don't want to say no when she may really have to go. It's difficult to know where to draw the line. Seasoned parents, feel free to weigh in.

Thankful and exhausted,
Ramona

OPT Update (W/ Addendum)

My little champ is staying consistent on her second day of potty training. She had a couple of accidents first thing in the morning, and the rest of the day has been filled with successes. All of her #2's have made it in the water. Hooray for that! In fact, she seems to be most confident in that area (if you get my drift).

After Liliana awoke from another 3+ hour nap with a dry pull-up, we got a little bold. Against friendly advice, we took Liliana to the grocery store and Walgreens. We knew it was a gamble, but I just HAD to get out of the house (I haven't left in over two days). I packed an extra change of clothes, and we were off! Our outing lasted about an hour, and Liliana did not have an accident. This is going much better than I anticipated. Yahoo!

We also have some adoption situations to consider. One looks very promising (Yippee!!), while the other is out of our range. It's very exciting to have possibilities as we wait. Instead of feeling like I'm sitting on my hands, it seems like we're doing something. That's a good thing.

Tootaloo!

The Score

At the end of the day, the score is...

Potty: 12 (#1 & #2)
Floor: 1
Pull-up (during nap):1

After an accident first thing in the morning, Liliana pottied like a champ. I'm so proud of her--so proud. What more could a Mommy want? Okay, maybe a decrease in the frequency would be nice. But other than that...an all-around great day. I am both thrilled and exhausted!

In the midst of learning to use the little girls' room, Liliana said the funniest things! As I was trying to monitor her first successful attempt, she bluntly said, "Leave me alone." Standing outside the door, I politely explained the term "privacy" and reminded her of good manners. She finished her business, and all was well. The next time she went in the bathroom (and every time thereafter), Liliana confidently asked, "Mommy, may I please have a little privacy?"

The word for the day was definitely independence. From her disdain for the timer to her strong desire for privacy, this day was all about gaining independence and mastering control of her little body. Way to go, Liliana!

A side note: I did not give additional liquids or salty foods. I attribute her frequent trips to the sweet taste of being a big girl and the even sweeter taste of Jelly Bellies. Rest assured, the treats are out the door by Sunday.

Thanks for your encouragement and advice!

OPT: Progress

Liliana is napping peacefully. What a relief. This potting training thing is exhausting! (Calgon, take me away. By the way, does that brand even exist anymore?)

At this point, the score is Potty: 1 Floor: 1 [That's progress!]

Following my last post, I tweaked the strategy. After Liliana protested the 30-minute intervals several times--to the point of tears, I realized that the schedule was (in her mind) insulting her intelligence. It really seemed like she saw it as an affront to her ability to recognize the urge. And I didn't want avoidable negativity to affect Liliana's progress. So, to keep the experience positive and capitalize on Liliana's desire for control...I dropped the mandatory perches on the potty and used the intervals as gentle reminders. So far, so good.

Of the 100 schools of thought on potty training, all of them disagree and none of them take into account my daughter's specific personality. You'd think the so-called experts would have it figured out by now! So, until there's a tried and true method, I'll just use the most helpful hints and trust my instincts.

Liliana's nap is now approaching the three-hour mark. I haven't heard a peep since I closed her door. If I didn't know better, I'd say she's just hiding in her room and pretending to sleep in order to avoid this new challenge. But I know that's not the case. My girl never met a challenge she didn't lick!

Stay tuned...

OPT: The Next Phase

After receiving lots of helpful feedback, we've decided to take Operation Potty Train to the next level. In fact, boot camp started this morning! As of 8:00am, diapers are out and undies are officially in. Of course, she'll wear pull-ups to bed. As a defense tactic, I rolled up the rugs and lined the sofa with towels. No, I didn't cover the floor with newspapers (although the thought crossed my mind).

I'm taking Liliana to the potty every 30 minutes. In the past, she's always responded positively to a timer (because it's not Mommy telling her what to do). However, she's been protesting loudly, saying "There's nothing in there!" or "No way I can do it right now!" I'm hopeful that her attitude will become more positive as the day goes on. After following our strict regimen for two hours, she has refused to let even a trickle fall in the water.

At 10:30am, the score is: Potty: 0 Floor: 1

Yes, this is quite the riveting situation. I know everyone is on the edge of their seats with Liliana's potty-training efforts, so I'll try to post regular updates.

Keep the great ideas coming! Since potty training isn't my area of expertise (and since all of the articles and books contradict one another), it's nice to get so many helpful hints!

Classified Information

We're beginning phase one of "Operation Potty Train" this week. Our mission: to finally say, "Good riddance!" to $35 boxes of Huggies Size 6. After months of hinting, looking at an ugly plastic potty chair and regular showings of "I Can Go Potty," Liliana recently became interested in putting the numbers where they belong.

(Cue the chorus)
Halleluiah!

It seems that this may be our opportunity to finally reach this elusive milestone. So far, the mission has resembled fireworks. It started with a bang, but quickly fizzled out.
Monday Liliana had two successful rounds of #1 and #2 on the big porcelain chair, with a soft Backyardigans attachment to prevent her from going swimming. She initiated both potty successes (thus kicking off our mission).

Yesterday was a different story. We wanted to go for the gusto, so we changed things up. We started with a pull up diaper to make it easier for her to take care of business. Apparently it felt too much like a regular diaper, because the thing was wet and yellow--despite reminders at 30-minute intervals.

Next we tried undies. The first go 'round, she started to pee and caught herself midstream. After successfully finishing the deed on the potty, we stuck with the strategy. Less than 20 minutes later, she came running in my direction, leaving an unpleasant trail of wetness in her path. When I finished taking care of her soggy pants, I found (the hard way) that the sofa was the original scene of the crime. Into the bath went Liliana, and into the laundry went two pairs of pants (hers and mine).

After that, I thought it best to reinstate Monday's blueprint for success. I put her diaper back on, reminded her to use the potty and took away the pressure. The result: nothing, nada, zilch. Today has been just the same.

A side note: We tried potty-training about six weeks ago, and it seemed that Liliana hadn't mastered the ability to "hold it" for any reasonable length of time. She tinkled every time she had the urge--at least five times in the first two hours. After covering the floor with pee, we realized that she wasn't ready.

So, now we have a dilemma. Do we abort mission and wait for her to show more signs of readiness? Do we go back to undies and let the pee fall where it may? While I want this to happen when she's ready, I also don't want to miss the golden opportunity. Seasoned parents, you are welcome to provide feedback and tricks of the trade!

A Contagious Smile

I love the unique angle of this photo and the way it shows the sweet curves of my baby's face. Unfortunately, it also shows the puffy, pink remnants of her recent conjunctivitis. But we cherish these moments and the pictures that come with it, sickness and all!

My Valentine

Here's my funny valentine in her favorite outfit--jammies! She wants to be "comfy and cozy" all the time and even requests to stay in her PJs when we leave the house. Sometimes we honor her request. In fact, we both went to the store in our jammies on Friday evening. And I'm not talking about something that resembles normal clothing--I'm talkin' hot pink monkey PJs! Sometimes it's fun to cast your cares aside and be a little silly!

Adoption Situation

We've had some excitement around here the past couple of days. While we've been nursing Liliana back to health (after a big, bad case of pink eye and upper respiratory infection), we've also been deliberating about an adoption situation. We were given 48 hours (the deadline was noon today) to consider the information presented to us and make a determination whether to take the next step.

It's difficult to describe the process we just went through--and what we undergo each time we receive a situation from our social worker at Bethany. In order to understand our thoughts and emotions, you'll need to know the kind of information we receive. Although I don't plan to share all future descriptions, I thought it would be helpful for you to see one example. Here's what we received Wednesday, exactly as it was written:

Due Date - 3/15/08
Gender/Race of Baby- Female, Caucasian
Description - Expectant mom is receiving prenatal care. She is choosing not to name the birthfather. Legal risk period will be 30 days after birth. She reports no drug or alcohol use during the pregnancy, but has struggled with drug addiction in the past. Expectant mom has been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, Mixed Personality Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, and ADHD. The second diagnosis can be described as an unspecified disorder that does not meet diagnostic criteria for a specific personality disorder. She has been on antidepressant medication during pregnancy, closely monitored by her doctor. Also, the expectant mother's biological mom has bipolar disorder. Expectant mother wants baby to be placed outside of the state. She would like pictures and letters of baby as baby grows up.

(This is an out-of-state adoption situation. I specifically chose not to share the location in order to ensure the privacy of the birth mother.)

When I initially read the description, I felt a mixture of excitement and concern. Although I was happy to see no reports of drug, alcohol or nicotine use during pregnancy, I had to acknowledge the slight risks associated with prescription antidepressant medications. Of greater concern was the family history of mental disorders. As mental health professionals, Wade and I understand all of the diagnoses involved, and we have seen these struggles first hand. We also know that the predispositions for mental disorders are inherited (just like heart disease and other physical illnesses). However, having a disease in the family is no guarantee that the child will also suffer from the illness. The predisposition may be present, but a nurturing and supportive environment can limit or completely prevent the symptoms.

My other major concern was the fact that no information was presented about the baby's father. Because we don't know anything, we have to be ready for everything. As Wade and I discussed all of the possibilities, we realized that there's always going to be a leap of faith involved. We're never going to know every piece of information, and we ultimately have to leave the baby's future health in God's hands.

As we wrestled with our major concerns, we also had to consider several other factors: the timing of this placement, required out-of-state travel, financial preparations and the level of openness desired by the birth mother. The travel isn't a huge issue, because we have friends in the birth mother's area. Although it would require planning and time off for Wade, we'd be able to handle it. The due date is just around the corner, but we've been preparing for months. To be honest, we were ready yesterday! Financially, we still are still working to acquire the necessary funds without incurring debt. However, we'll take out a loan if need be. As far as the mother's desire for pictures and letters is concerned, we're happy to oblige. And we'd be thrilled with a boy or a girl, so gender is not a deciding factor.

After careful and prayerful deliberation, we felt led to proceed. With this decision comes the willingness to welcome this child into our family...very soon. Additionally, we must prepare to travel on short notice at least twice, possibly for upwards of two weeks at a time. Finally, we must do what it takes financially.

So what happens next? Sometime next week, the expectant mother will view our profile. In this particular situation, the mother may view literally hundreds of profiles (this is not typical--usually 5-7 profiles are shown). Because 75 Bethany offices received the situation, and each office sent out the info to all of their actively waiting families--this expectant mother could have 75+ booklets by next week. That's a huge number of families to consider! Since the baby's due date is only a month away, I'm sure she'll be making her decision as quickly as possible. If it's a match, we should know right away. If it's not, we may not hear anything for a couple of weeks.

The situation is now out of our hands and completely resting in God's. He led us to this point, and now all we can do is wait. We know that He has set this child apart for a specific family, and He will make the perfect match. Should He choose our home, we will be ecstatic. Should it be another, we will have total peace. Please pray that God's will be done in this situation and that we continue to honor and glorify Him throughout this process.

Blessings to all! Ramona

Happy Valentine's Day!

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A Little N.O. in the STL

After experiencing Mardi Gras, we just had to bring a taste of the festivities back to St. Louis. Of course, that meant a party, a king cake and lots of beads, doubloons, cups and toys. Since it was a last-minute celebration, the crowd was small...but still plenty of fun! Pictured above are the gals: Stacy, Chris, Shauna, Missy, Mona and Torie.

Here are the guys: Wade, Clay, Tim, Jim and Ben. Once again, the camera caught Wade dreaming about king cake...or beignets...or chocolate.

And last, but not least, the kiddies: Grace, Joshua, Liliana, Nick-Nic, Alyce, Caden, Tyler and Peyton. They were definitely the life of the party, especially at 10:00am. Next time, we'll have an evening shindig. It's difficult to get into the carnival spirit first thing in the morning.

More Mardi Gras Fun

Beads, beads and more beads! Stuart, Carter and Cole model their Mardi Gras goodies. Each year, we catch hundreds of fistfulls of beads and assorted goodies during the parades. We keep the unique throws and share the rest with our friends and family. This year, we had more than enough to go around!

All hail the king! Here's our neighbor, Clay, who had the good fortune to find a tiny baby in his cake. Here's the story of the King Cake...

The King Cake is a brioche-style cake traditionally made throughout the State of Louisiana during the weeks prior to Mardi Gras. Usually oval in shape, the King Cake is a bakery delicacy made from a rich Danish dough (which is a sweetened yeast bread...a cross between a coffee cake and a French pastry) and covered with a poured sugar topping decorated in the traditional Mardi Gras-colored sugars of purple (symbolizing Justice), green (symbolizing Faith) and gold (symbolizing Power). This colorful topping is representative of a jeweled crown in honor of the Three Wise Men who visited the Christ Child on Epiphany (a word derived from the Greek meaning "to show"). Epiphany, also known as Twelfth Night (i.e., January 6) is when the Carnival Season officially begins.

The King Cake tradition is believed to have begun with French settlers around 1870, who were themselves continuing a custom which dated back to Twelfth Century France, when a similar cake was used to celebrate the coming of the Magi twelve days after Christmas bearing gifts for the Christ Child. This celebration was also once known as King's Day. As a symbol of this Holy Day, a tiny plastic baby (symbolic of the baby Jesus) is placed inside each King Cake but in times gone past, the hidden items were usually coins, beans, pecans or peas.

Today, the cakes are baked in many shapes but originally, they were round to portray the circular route take by the Magi in order to confuse King Herod, whose army was attempting to follow the Wise Men so that the Christ Child could be killed. The origin of the modern King Cake can be traced back to the Middle Ages, when popular devotion during Christmas turned to the Three Wise Men. In 1871, the tradition of choosing the Queen of Mardi Gras was determined by who drew the prize within the cake. Today, such a find is still deemed to be a sign of good fortune and it is customary for the person who discovers the hidden plastic baby to host the next King Cake Party. (Info from novareinna.com.)

Like a Good Neighbor

I've said it before, and I'll say it again...

Our little subdivision is the best! Friday night, a group of us neighbor gals got together for an evening out. We arrived at 6:30pm and closed the place down! We had the best time--just talking. We discussed current events, our husbands, our children, our jobs, our faves and just about everything under the sun. The night was so much fun that we've already planned our next one!

Thanks for a great evening, ladies!

French Quarter

About ten minutes ago, I received the rest of the Mardi Gras photos. Normally I take all of the photos, but I was on strike during this trip. Suffice it to say that the strike is officially over. Anyway, I wanted to give everyone a better glimpse into the Carnival scene before moving on to the latest and greatest of St. Louis life. So, here you go!

Above: Liliana on my lap, Wade, Sarah (Wade's sis) and Victor outside Cafe du Monde, famous for their beignets (square doughnuts with piles of powdered sugar). Below: our little family enjoys large amounts of sugar. From the look on Wade's face, he was definitely on a sugar high!

More N'awlins Pix

The "W" gals on St. Charles Avenue.

Wade with his wife, bro and sis.

The performer bewilders Liliana.

Even crocs are friendly during Carnival!

Precious moments in the midst of Mardi Gras.

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler!.

Let the good times roll! Here we are in N'awlins during Carnival. Liliana really had a great time, despite her "somebody save me" look in this photo!

We just returned from the Deep South, where we celebrated Carnival with family. Wade is from Mississippi, where (believe it or not) schools are closed for three days in recognition of Mardi Gras. We spent most of our time on St. Charles Avenue in New Orleans watching the parades & catching all kinds of crazy throws. Little ones were definitely the big winners as floats passed by. And Liliana was no exception. Here's a taste of the items she received: dozens of unique beads, cups, and doubloons; a baby doll; a $25 box of board books; a porcelain clown; and about 25 stuffed monkeys, jesters, and other assorted animals. After all was said and done, we brought home five heavy bags of loot. Plenty to share with friends and neighbors!

Happy Fat Tuesday!

Loving Motherhood

I heart motherhood! Never before have I learned so much or been so blessed. As I watch my daughter grow and develop, I stand in awe of how we are all so beautifully and wonderfully made. At only three years old, Liliana experiences the entire range of emotions, including empathy, compassion and intense love. It is one of the most fulfilling feelings in the world when I witness Liliana give, share and offer other gestures of kindness and friendship. Motherhood is a dream come true!