Weathering the Storm

This has been a tough Tuesday. Wade's parents left for Mississippi this morning, leaving us alone with our day-to-day life and the stark reality that our attempts to expand our family have once again failed.

All day, I've been feeling like someone I dearly love has died. And when I examine the situation, I realize that not only am I dealing with the loss of two beloved children, but I am also grieving the death of a desire. My plans have been shattered so many times that I wonder if our dream for a large family will ever come true. Yet, somehow I still have hope...and hope is a very powerful thing.

Wade and I agree that our family is not complete. We know that someone is missing...that there's another child who belongs in our home. Unfortunately, we have no idea who this precious one is. Will we have a miraculous pregnancy when we least expect it? Or will our missing child be put up for adoption by another family? Right now, all we can do is research our options and pray for the Lord's guidance as we continue to walk through this refining fire.

This loss has created yet another opportunity for me to search my heart and mind, and to test my priorities. As I dig down deep, I find more strength and perseverance than I knew I had. And I realize that what matters more to me than almost everything on earth is loving my family. Without a doubt, my strength and my desire come directly from Almighty God. He is bringing me through this storm with grace I never imagined.

Thanks be to God for joy in the midst of pain. Blessings, Ramona