I am such a mess! This morning I went upstairs to get Madagascar so Liliana and I could dance to "I Like to Move It, Move It." And on the way back, I fell down the stairs. Yes, I totally fell down the stairs. Initially, I was in so much pain that I thought I broke my back and arm. I laid at the bottom of the stairs, calling for Wade to come help me while poor Liliana looked on in tears.
Rather than go to the ER and wait for hours (and spend a small fortune), I opted to try my D.O., whose office is just around the corner. I did not want to go to the hospital again--I've been there too much lately. So I convinced Dr. Chao's staff to work me in.
According to my doc, I strained several back muscles and sprained my neck muscles. My arm and hip are bruised, but okay. Because of my long history of back problems (starting with collegiate diving and intensified by car accidents a couple years ago), this fall did some damage.
My back, head and neck are aching. I am now taking Darvocet for pain and Lorazepam as a muscle relaxer. The Darvocet helps, but it's not doing the trick for my headaches. I contacted Chao's office to ask for something stronger. Hopefully, they'll oblige. Ironically enough, it looks like my sleep problems will be addressed by the Lorazepam, which doubles as a sleeping pill.
Can you believe this craziness? Out of the frying pan and into the fire! Part of me is thinking, "Is one person supposed to go through this much at once?" And the rest of me has to laugh, because it's almost comical. You know those movies where the main character encounters one problem after another after another throughout the film (like Meet the Parents). Well, that's how I feel right now. It's crazy!
If I wasn't overwhelmed yesterday, I certainly am now. We're taking everything an hour at a time, but we're making it through. Thank goodness for medication. Otherwise, nurturing a toddler would be out of the question today.
Here's to a better tomorrow! May God bless you.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
I Like to Move It
Insomnia update: Thank you for the sleep suggestions, both here and on my personal email. God answered my prayers for better slumber last night. I think the melatonin is beginning to register more effectively the longer I use it. Although I still wanted to stay in bed this morning, I felt more rested than previous days.
Thank You: My sincere appreciation to my Bible Study sisters who surprised me with a gift certificate for a massage at The Face and Body. My apologies for totally "losing it" and bursting into tears; I did not expect such a generous outpouring of love. Leigh Ann, Nancy, Rebecca, Lori, Liz, Elizabeth, Barb, Christy, Michelle and Andrea...you made my week!
Funny: At naptime yesterday, I asked Liliana what song she'd like to hear (we sing and pray before each bedtime). Normally she requests "Jesus Loves Me" or "You are My Sunshine," but much to my surprise she said, "Ike it Moob it Moob it." Translation: "I Like to Move It, Move It" from the movie Madagascar. She had recently heard the song sung by a novelty Valentine animal that moves and shakes. I completely forgot about it...but obviously it was front and center in her memory! And yes, I honored her request. I followed it with a more mellow song to move the mood from dancing to snoozing.
Thank You: My sincere appreciation to my Bible Study sisters who surprised me with a gift certificate for a massage at The Face and Body. My apologies for totally "losing it" and bursting into tears; I did not expect such a generous outpouring of love. Leigh Ann, Nancy, Rebecca, Lori, Liz, Elizabeth, Barb, Christy, Michelle and Andrea...you made my week!
Funny: At naptime yesterday, I asked Liliana what song she'd like to hear (we sing and pray before each bedtime). Normally she requests "Jesus Loves Me" or "You are My Sunshine," but much to my surprise she said, "Ike it Moob it Moob it." Translation: "I Like to Move It, Move It" from the movie Madagascar. She had recently heard the song sung by a novelty Valentine animal that moves and shakes. I completely forgot about it...but obviously it was front and center in her memory! And yes, I honored her request. I followed it with a more mellow song to move the mood from dancing to snoozing.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Insomnia
This morning, Liliana and I spent two hours in our pajamas on the sofa, just snuggling and watching children's television shows. Although I typically try to limit her daily TV intake, today was an exception. I was so exhausted and in major need of some TLC with my sweet girl. The only time she cuddles is while she's in front of the tube, so I just let it happen. Certainly one day isn't going to stunt her intelligence...and we sure enjoyed our Mommy-daughter pajama party!
Insomnia continues to plague me. My sleep issues began with my pregnancy and intensified after my miscarriage. I've been taking melatonin for two nights (per the suggestion of my BFF who's in med school). The melatonin has decreased the amount of time it takes me to fall asleep; however, it does nothing for my middle-of-the-night awakenings. This morning, I awoke to, "Mama, Mama, Mama!" feeling as if I didn't sleep a wink.
My body is ultra exhausted every night, but I can't seem to turn off my thoughts. I've tried meditation, lavender aromatherapy, Benadryl, and now melatonin. I'm trying not to resort to prescription meds until I've run out of options, because I'm afraid they'll keep me from hearing Liliana if she needs me in the wee hours of the night. Any suggestions? I'd love to hear your ideas.
Hoping for a restful nap right now...
Insomnia continues to plague me. My sleep issues began with my pregnancy and intensified after my miscarriage. I've been taking melatonin for two nights (per the suggestion of my BFF who's in med school). The melatonin has decreased the amount of time it takes me to fall asleep; however, it does nothing for my middle-of-the-night awakenings. This morning, I awoke to, "Mama, Mama, Mama!" feeling as if I didn't sleep a wink.
My body is ultra exhausted every night, but I can't seem to turn off my thoughts. I've tried meditation, lavender aromatherapy, Benadryl, and now melatonin. I'm trying not to resort to prescription meds until I've run out of options, because I'm afraid they'll keep me from hearing Liliana if she needs me in the wee hours of the night. Any suggestions? I'd love to hear your ideas.
Hoping for a restful nap right now...
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Find Your Wings
Thank goodness we have a chance for a bright new beginning each and every day. Since yesterday wasn't my best (to say the least), I really tried to change my perspective today and focus on precious Liliana and the other wonderful aspects of our life. I recently heard a song about parenthood that encapsulates my feelings about raising our daughter. Its truth and beauty brought tears to my eyes.
Find Your Wings by Mark Harris
It's only for a moment you are mine to hold.
The plans that heaven has for you will all too soon unfold.
So many different prayers I'll pray for all that you might do;
But most of all I'll want to know you're walking in the truth.
And If I never told you--I want you to know
That as I watch you grow...
I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams,
And that faith gives you the courage to dare to do great things.
I'm here for you, whatever this life brings,
So let my love give you roots and help you find your wings.
May passion be the wind that leads you through your days,
And may conviction keep you strong and guide you on your way.
May there be many moments that make your life so sweet;
Oh, but more than memories...
I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams,
And that faith gives you the courage to dare to do great things .
I'm here for you, whatever this life brings,
So let my love give you roots and help you find your wings.
It's not living if you don't reach for the sky;
I'll have tears as you take off, but I'll cheer as you fly.
Beautiful, huh?
***************************************************
Special thanks to our friends & neighbors, Jen and Michael, who surprised us with a ready-made breakfast casserole and great conversation last night. Our gratitude to sweet Catherine for providing a terrific dinner for us tonight. And a million thanks for the encouraging cards, emails and calls we continue to receive. Every kind word helps to lift our spirits and move us through to the next phase of this grief process. May God bless you all!
Find Your Wings by Mark Harris
It's only for a moment you are mine to hold.
The plans that heaven has for you will all too soon unfold.
So many different prayers I'll pray for all that you might do;
But most of all I'll want to know you're walking in the truth.
And If I never told you--I want you to know
That as I watch you grow...
I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams,
And that faith gives you the courage to dare to do great things.
I'm here for you, whatever this life brings,
So let my love give you roots and help you find your wings.
May passion be the wind that leads you through your days,
And may conviction keep you strong and guide you on your way.
May there be many moments that make your life so sweet;
Oh, but more than memories...
I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams,
And that faith gives you the courage to dare to do great things .
I'm here for you, whatever this life brings,
So let my love give you roots and help you find your wings.
It's not living if you don't reach for the sky;
I'll have tears as you take off, but I'll cheer as you fly.
Beautiful, huh?
***************************************************
Special thanks to our friends & neighbors, Jen and Michael, who surprised us with a ready-made breakfast casserole and great conversation last night. Our gratitude to sweet Catherine for providing a terrific dinner for us tonight. And a million thanks for the encouraging cards, emails and calls we continue to receive. Every kind word helps to lift our spirits and move us through to the next phase of this grief process. May God bless you all!
Friday, January 26, 2007
Part of Me
I've read this entry over and over, trying to somehow make it nicer or sweeter...trying to think myself out of this funk. I've debated which button would be most appropriate--"publish" or "delete." And I suppose I ought to just put it out there. You've seen the best of me, and now you'll see the rest of me.
Things aren't rosy today. I'm not feeling like my normal glass-is-half-full self. I've had to work much harder than usual to be positive about our situation. I think my bad mood was triggered this morning when I heard a pregnant woman complaining about the "inconveniences" of pregnancy and having a baby. I thought, "A child is a gift! You should be grateful for this pregnancy. I will gladly trade places with you."
Tears began welling up in my eyes as I sat there listening and still bleeding from the D&C, unable to escape the fact we just lost our third baby and possibly our final chance to have another child. Maybe it's the abrupt hormone changes or the multiple medications; but I have a feeling I'm just experiencing plain ol' frustration and anger.
I am frustrated that we went through the pain and expense of IVF just to lose it all. I am angry that we are mourning the loss of another child--that anyone has to lose a child, for that matter. And just as I start to let myself go to that irritable and frustrated and downright sad place, I feel guilty for feeling this way. I know we are very fortunate. I know I should just appreciate all of the blessings in our lives. But I am a grieving mother who is physically and emotionally exhausted. No matter how I try to frame it, this isn't a pretty picture.
This is the tough stuff of an on-line journal, but it's honest and human and real. I apologize that you've had to see this part of me...the small, but bitter part that will never understand why bad things have to happen over and over again. If you know me, you'll attest that I've had more than my share of drama in the past few years. And I'm tired, tired, tired.
I know this is a broken world, but I sure wouldn't mind see a little more good around me. And just as that thought crosses my mind, I remember that these are the situations that allow us to suffer and long for something better. And what is better than God's glory and goodness. In the midst of our sorrow and sin, we turn away from the worldly things that continue to fail us. ..and we turn to God.
So I will lift my eyes to the maker of the mountains I can't climb. I will lift my eyes to the healer of the hurt I hold inside. I will lift my eyes...
Things aren't rosy today. I'm not feeling like my normal glass-is-half-full self. I've had to work much harder than usual to be positive about our situation. I think my bad mood was triggered this morning when I heard a pregnant woman complaining about the "inconveniences" of pregnancy and having a baby. I thought, "A child is a gift! You should be grateful for this pregnancy. I will gladly trade places with you."
Tears began welling up in my eyes as I sat there listening and still bleeding from the D&C, unable to escape the fact we just lost our third baby and possibly our final chance to have another child. Maybe it's the abrupt hormone changes or the multiple medications; but I have a feeling I'm just experiencing plain ol' frustration and anger.
I am frustrated that we went through the pain and expense of IVF just to lose it all. I am angry that we are mourning the loss of another child--that anyone has to lose a child, for that matter. And just as I start to let myself go to that irritable and frustrated and downright sad place, I feel guilty for feeling this way. I know we are very fortunate. I know I should just appreciate all of the blessings in our lives. But I am a grieving mother who is physically and emotionally exhausted. No matter how I try to frame it, this isn't a pretty picture.
This is the tough stuff of an on-line journal, but it's honest and human and real. I apologize that you've had to see this part of me...the small, but bitter part that will never understand why bad things have to happen over and over again. If you know me, you'll attest that I've had more than my share of drama in the past few years. And I'm tired, tired, tired.
I know this is a broken world, but I sure wouldn't mind see a little more good around me. And just as that thought crosses my mind, I remember that these are the situations that allow us to suffer and long for something better. And what is better than God's glory and goodness. In the midst of our sorrow and sin, we turn away from the worldly things that continue to fail us. ..and we turn to God.
So I will lift my eyes to the maker of the mountains I can't climb. I will lift my eyes to the healer of the hurt I hold inside. I will lift my eyes...
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Broken, but Not Beaten
Yesterday was very trying, both physically and emotionally. We spent the majority of our day at St. Luke's Hospital. Wade and I had our blood drawn for genetic testing, and the fetal tissue was sent to a lab for evaluation. According to Dr. Pineda, the D & C procedure was performed without complication. However, the evening was filled with countless tears and debilitatingly painful after-effects of the procedure.
Last night, I was physically exhausted, ultra emotional and suffering from so much cramping and pain that I couldn't function. After a 600mg dose of ibuprofen and 1000mg of acetaminophen, I asked Wade to call the on-call MD for something more potent. At 11:00 pm, just when the pain was unbearable, Wade returned from Walgreens with Tylenol plus Codeine. Although it helped with the pain, something in the medicine prevented me from sleeping. So here I am at 2:30pm-- awake and writing--thanks my long-lost friend, Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi. I guess you could say that caffeine is my consolation prize for having to endure this trial...that, and no more bruised and battered behind from progesterone shots.
On a positive note, we have been so encouraged by our family and friends during that past couple of days. So many of you have called, emailed, prayed, sent cards and commented on the blog. From the bottom of my heart, thank you! Special thanks to Bill and Mary (Wade's parents) for treating us to McAlister's after we found out about our miscarriage. A huge thank you to our life-saving friend and neighbor, Stacy, for taking time away from work to care for Liliana while we were at the hospital. Our appreciation to our oh-so-thoughtful friend, Kelly, for providing a delicious meal for us last night. For those of you I'm forgetting, there will certainly be more thanks to come.
It is so beautiful to feel lifted up by the ones we love in our greatest time of need. Thank you! Our prayer today is that you may know how grateful we are for your continued outpouring of love.
In God's unfailing grace, Ramona
Last night, I was physically exhausted, ultra emotional and suffering from so much cramping and pain that I couldn't function. After a 600mg dose of ibuprofen and 1000mg of acetaminophen, I asked Wade to call the on-call MD for something more potent. At 11:00 pm, just when the pain was unbearable, Wade returned from Walgreens with Tylenol plus Codeine. Although it helped with the pain, something in the medicine prevented me from sleeping. So here I am at 2:30pm-- awake and writing--thanks my long-lost friend, Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi. I guess you could say that caffeine is my consolation prize for having to endure this trial...that, and no more bruised and battered behind from progesterone shots.
On a positive note, we have been so encouraged by our family and friends during that past couple of days. So many of you have called, emailed, prayed, sent cards and commented on the blog. From the bottom of my heart, thank you! Special thanks to Bill and Mary (Wade's parents) for treating us to McAlister's after we found out about our miscarriage. A huge thank you to our life-saving friend and neighbor, Stacy, for taking time away from work to care for Liliana while we were at the hospital. Our appreciation to our oh-so-thoughtful friend, Kelly, for providing a delicious meal for us last night. For those of you I'm forgetting, there will certainly be more thanks to come.
It is so beautiful to feel lifted up by the ones we love in our greatest time of need. Thank you! Our prayer today is that you may know how grateful we are for your continued outpouring of love.
In God's unfailing grace, Ramona
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Praise God in this Storm
I am weary today. Please allow me to express my feelings through music.
IF YOU WANT ME TO
Ginny Owens
The pathway is broken and the signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley if You want me to
Cause I'm not who I was when I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will go through the fire if You want me to
It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone
So When the whole world turns against me and I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley if You want me to
When I cross over Jordan, I'm gonna sing, gonna shout
I'm gonna look into Your eyes and see You never let me down
So take me on the pathway that will lead me home to You
And I will walk through the valley if You want me to
Yes, I will walk through the valley if You want me to
PRAISE YOU IN THIS STORM (partial)
words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms
(performed by Casting Crowns)...
I was sure by now, God,
You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God
who gives and takes away.
Chorus:
And I'll praise You in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
IF YOU WANT ME TO
Ginny Owens
The pathway is broken and the signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley if You want me to
Cause I'm not who I was when I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will go through the fire if You want me to
It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone
So When the whole world turns against me and I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley if You want me to
When I cross over Jordan, I'm gonna sing, gonna shout
I'm gonna look into Your eyes and see You never let me down
So take me on the pathway that will lead me home to You
And I will walk through the valley if You want me to
Yes, I will walk through the valley if You want me to
PRAISE YOU IN THIS STORM (partial)
words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms
(performed by Casting Crowns)...
I was sure by now, God,
You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God
who gives and takes away.
Chorus:
And I'll praise You in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
In the Valley
For several months now, I have felt a strong spiritual call to share my journey...primarily so that others may see the grace and glory of God in my life. It was for that reason I created this blog. I must admit that the entire process has been challenging, mainly because being so open and transparent does not come naturally for me. I have found that one takes many risks in making her life an open book, and there is a great deal of consideration that must go into each entry. Despite the difficult aspects, however, sharing my life with you has been therapeutic and rewarding beyond my expectations. Thank you for your support and encouragement.
It is with an especially heavy heart that write today. Our pregnancy has come to an end, and Wade and I are mourning the loss of yet another child. Today should have marked my 7th week of pregnancy, but this morning's ultrasound showed that our baby's development stopped at 5 weeks, 6 days. The previous ultrasound was accurate, and today's scan was confirmation.
Because this is our third miscarriage, Dr. Pineda urged us to proceed with genetic testing for ourselves and the fetus. I am scheduled for a suction dilation and curettage (D&C) tomorrow at St. Luke's. The tissue will be removed and sent to a lab for testing. Hopefully we will learn the cause of this loss and know if there is a genetic component that is at the root the miscarriages.
Losing a child is painful beyond description. I am filled with great sadness and disappointment, accompanied by a profound longing. I feel guilt, shame and a sense that I am somehow less of a woman because I have so much difficulty conceiving and carrying a child. It is distressing to realize that I have been pregnant four times, and I have just one child.
And even while my heart is aching, I understand that this is the refining fire that builds our character and gives us strength. I know that many unexpected blessings will result from this trial.
My life is already so richly blessed. I have been entrusted with a beautiful daughter, and I am fortunate enough to experience the gift of motherhood each and every day. I am married to my best friend, a supportive and loving man who is by my side every moment. And I am blessed with a terrific family and encouraging friends. There are so many reasons for me to be grateful.
Also, I know in my heart that this is God's plan for us. God is good and His timing is always perfect. He knew the deepest desires of our hearts and heard many prayers on our behalf; yet, He still allowed this to happen. Therefore, I know this was meant to be...and I give thanks to the God who gives and takes away. Further, I am certain that the Lord has something absolutely wonderful in store for us. My trust is unshaken, and my faith is stronger than ever before.
Today I grieve the loss of a third child, yet I also rest in God's promises and look forward to a brighter tomorrow.
It is with an especially heavy heart that write today. Our pregnancy has come to an end, and Wade and I are mourning the loss of yet another child. Today should have marked my 7th week of pregnancy, but this morning's ultrasound showed that our baby's development stopped at 5 weeks, 6 days. The previous ultrasound was accurate, and today's scan was confirmation.
Because this is our third miscarriage, Dr. Pineda urged us to proceed with genetic testing for ourselves and the fetus. I am scheduled for a suction dilation and curettage (D&C) tomorrow at St. Luke's. The tissue will be removed and sent to a lab for testing. Hopefully we will learn the cause of this loss and know if there is a genetic component that is at the root the miscarriages.
Losing a child is painful beyond description. I am filled with great sadness and disappointment, accompanied by a profound longing. I feel guilt, shame and a sense that I am somehow less of a woman because I have so much difficulty conceiving and carrying a child. It is distressing to realize that I have been pregnant four times, and I have just one child.
And even while my heart is aching, I understand that this is the refining fire that builds our character and gives us strength. I know that many unexpected blessings will result from this trial.
My life is already so richly blessed. I have been entrusted with a beautiful daughter, and I am fortunate enough to experience the gift of motherhood each and every day. I am married to my best friend, a supportive and loving man who is by my side every moment. And I am blessed with a terrific family and encouraging friends. There are so many reasons for me to be grateful.
Also, I know in my heart that this is God's plan for us. God is good and His timing is always perfect. He knew the deepest desires of our hearts and heard many prayers on our behalf; yet, He still allowed this to happen. Therefore, I know this was meant to be...and I give thanks to the God who gives and takes away. Further, I am certain that the Lord has something absolutely wonderful in store for us. My trust is unshaken, and my faith is stronger than ever before.
Today I grieve the loss of a third child, yet I also rest in God's promises and look forward to a brighter tomorrow.
Monday, January 22, 2007
The Joys of Parenthood
Things seem to get worse for my sweet Liliana by the hour. She is a sneezing and coughing mess...and her bouts sometimes lead to choking and gagging. Her little eyes are watery and red, and her voice is still hoarse. I spoke with her doctor today (LaQuita Graham, who is wonderful, by the way). She indicated that Liliana probably has the nasty viral infection that's been circulating. Dr. Graham called in a prescription that will hopefully be more effective than the Benadryl & Robitussin DM combination we've been giving her. I pray that it helps her to feel better soon and sleep, sleep, sleep!
The past week of tending to Liliana's illness has taken its toll on me. She has not been sleeping much during naptime or nighttime hours. Coupled with the insomnia I've been experiencing for the past four weeks, I am running on fumes. It seems that every time I actually fall asleep, I'm awakened by a 1:30am "Mama, mama!" or a 3:00am coughing fit. The poor baby is suffering, and I'm hurting right along with her. It's emotionally draining to care for a sick child, and it is even more difficult when a mommy is sleep deprived.
For the first time in weeks, I resorted to a frosty beverage to help me in the energy department...and boy was it delicious! Over a month ago, I gave up my beloved Diet Cherry Coke to cut caffeine from my diet. Although doctors say that a cup of coffee a day is fine, I've also heard that caffeine may inhibit blood flow to the uterus during conception and pregnancy. So, to be on the safe side, I completely eliminated it. Until an hour ago, that is.
Even after a tough week of parenthood, I wouldn't trade a single
snot-filled moment of it. I love nothing on this earth more than being a mommy and caring for our daughter. A child is such a beautiful gift! It is my prayer that precious Liliana's little body heals while our tiny little one continues to develop perfectly. We'll know more soon--the ultrasound is first thing tomorrow morning. Thank the Lord!
Wishing you good health and great sleep! Ramona
The past week of tending to Liliana's illness has taken its toll on me. She has not been sleeping much during naptime or nighttime hours. Coupled with the insomnia I've been experiencing for the past four weeks, I am running on fumes. It seems that every time I actually fall asleep, I'm awakened by a 1:30am "Mama, mama!" or a 3:00am coughing fit. The poor baby is suffering, and I'm hurting right along with her. It's emotionally draining to care for a sick child, and it is even more difficult when a mommy is sleep deprived.
For the first time in weeks, I resorted to a frosty beverage to help me in the energy department...and boy was it delicious! Over a month ago, I gave up my beloved Diet Cherry Coke to cut caffeine from my diet. Although doctors say that a cup of coffee a day is fine, I've also heard that caffeine may inhibit blood flow to the uterus during conception and pregnancy. So, to be on the safe side, I completely eliminated it. Until an hour ago, that is.
Even after a tough week of parenthood, I wouldn't trade a single
snot-filled moment of it. I love nothing on this earth more than being a mommy and caring for our daughter. A child is such a beautiful gift! It is my prayer that precious Liliana's little body heals while our tiny little one continues to develop perfectly. We'll know more soon--the ultrasound is first thing tomorrow morning. Thank the Lord!
Wishing you good health and great sleep! Ramona
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Here's to Good Health!
Liliana is battling an upper respiratory infection. Thankfully, Wade and I have been immune so far, but my poor baby has been suffering for a week. She is very congested, with a swollen throat, runny nose and a mean cough. For the first time ever, she has lost her voice. It's actually quite funny to hear sometimes frog-like, other times sqeaky little sounds come out when she speaks. I think she likes it, too, because she seems to be talking more than ever.
This morning Liliana was very disappointed to miss church. I went to Sunday School and Wade went to chuch, and we did a Liliana hand-off in the parking lot. My sweet pea cried because she couldn't go inside the chuch. She loves seeing her little friends in the nursery, but we couldn't take the chance of infecting other kiddos. This is her second week of missing church due to this ailment. We'll all be so happy when she's feeling better.
In two days we'll know how our other baby is doing. The week of waiting has been better than I anticipated, thank the Lord! Although I haven't enjoyed every moment, I have tried to make the best of it. We originally had several play dates scheduled last week, but I had to cancel most due to Liliana's illness. Somehow we managed to pass the time rather quickly, even without much on the calendar.
I am very excited to see the baby on the ultrasound Tuesday morning. I continue to feel nauseated throughout the day, so I'm hoping that the pregnancy is right on track. I still occasionally experience doubts, but I am able to push them away and focus on the positive signs that all is well. God willing, we will see a healthy fetus and a strong heartbeat Tuesday.
Prayer request: for the safety and health of Liliana and our unborn baby.
Blessings, Ramona
This morning Liliana was very disappointed to miss church. I went to Sunday School and Wade went to chuch, and we did a Liliana hand-off in the parking lot. My sweet pea cried because she couldn't go inside the chuch. She loves seeing her little friends in the nursery, but we couldn't take the chance of infecting other kiddos. This is her second week of missing church due to this ailment. We'll all be so happy when she's feeling better.
In two days we'll know how our other baby is doing. The week of waiting has been better than I anticipated, thank the Lord! Although I haven't enjoyed every moment, I have tried to make the best of it. We originally had several play dates scheduled last week, but I had to cancel most due to Liliana's illness. Somehow we managed to pass the time rather quickly, even without much on the calendar.
I am very excited to see the baby on the ultrasound Tuesday morning. I continue to feel nauseated throughout the day, so I'm hoping that the pregnancy is right on track. I still occasionally experience doubts, but I am able to push them away and focus on the positive signs that all is well. God willing, we will see a healthy fetus and a strong heartbeat Tuesday.
Prayer request: for the safety and health of Liliana and our unborn baby.
Blessings, Ramona
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Hurry Up and Wait
Thank the Lord for symptoms of pregnancy! Although doubts and fears have crept in this week, my body keeps repeating, "You're still pregnant!" If it weren't for the nausea and heartburn, though, I'd be wondering if it was just the high doses of progesterone causing my side effects. But progesterone doesn't cause nausea or heartburn, so that's a good thing. With several days before the next ultrasound, I'd lose my marbles without something to help me believe the pregnancy is on track. Hope is very powerful!
Originally, the ultrasound was scheduled for Monday. Unfortunately, Wade has a work conflict all day, so I had to move the appointment to Tuesday morning. As difficult as the waiting has been, I found it quite troublesome to change the ultrasound to a later date. Even 24 hours is a long time when you're wondering if your pregnancy is healthy or finished. It's important that Wade be present for the exam, so I'm willing to wait another day.
Waiting. I guess I'd better get used to it. That's hopefully what I'll be doing for the next 7 months!
Originally, the ultrasound was scheduled for Monday. Unfortunately, Wade has a work conflict all day, so I had to move the appointment to Tuesday morning. As difficult as the waiting has been, I found it quite troublesome to change the ultrasound to a later date. Even 24 hours is a long time when you're wondering if your pregnancy is healthy or finished. It's important that Wade be present for the exam, so I'm willing to wait another day.
Waiting. I guess I'd better get used to it. That's hopefully what I'll be doing for the next 7 months!
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
On a Positive Note
God has blessed me with a great deal of nausea today, which has been encouraging. Experiencing symptoms helps me to feel as if everything with the pregnancy is healthy and on the right track. I also read several websites and blogs that indicate that it is normal for an ultrasound to pick up only the gestational sac before six weeks (which is exactly what we saw yesterday). One OB's site stated that things change daily at this point, and it further explained that although the yolk or baby may not be visible one day, it should get clearer in just two or three days. And just a couple days after that, the baby's heart beat should be noticable. If that's the case, we should be able to see everything during next week's ultrasound. In the meantime, I'm just going to focus on the positive and pray for a healthy baby.
On a funny note, the house is rumbling as I write this. No, not because of thunderstorms or adverse weather conditions, but because Wade rented a hip-hop DVD to learn new dance moves. He's practicing right this minute! Yes, you read it right, folks. Wade will soon be the new hip-hop dance champion of...well, at least this corner of the neighborhood. I'll try to post some video soon!
Hope you're enjoying your week. Thank you for your continued prayers and well-wishes. God bless!
On a funny note, the house is rumbling as I write this. No, not because of thunderstorms or adverse weather conditions, but because Wade rented a hip-hop DVD to learn new dance moves. He's practicing right this minute! Yes, you read it right, folks. Wade will soon be the new hip-hop dance champion of...well, at least this corner of the neighborhood. I'll try to post some video soon!
Hope you're enjoying your week. Thank you for your continued prayers and well-wishes. God bless!
Monday, January 15, 2007
Unrest
Our first ultrasound took place this morning. The pregnancy looks to be almost 6 weeks in development. Since I was supposed to be a bit further along, the embryo may have initially taken a couple extra days to implant. If that's the case, I'm just not as far along as anticipated. However, there's also a possibility that the development stopped a couple days ago. Dr. Pineda says to relax and assume all is well until proven otherwise. He wants me to have another ultrasound in one week.
On one hand, I am relieved that everything looks normal (for a 5 week, 6 day pregnancy, that is). We were able to see that there is one embryo sac in the uterus. Thankfully it is not an ectopic pregnancy. On the other hand, I have to admit that I am somewhat uneasy that the baby's development isn't where we thought it should be. I can't help but remember that this is similar to how we learned about my two miscarriages. In the past, either a blood test or an ultrasound showed that the baby stopped growing prematurely...and that was the end. Right now, it's too soon to tell. All I can do is pray and wait.
I'm still experiencing regular symptoms of pregnancy, so hopefully that indicates everything is right on track. Nausea, heartburn, aching body parts, insomnia, and food aversions are a integral part of my daily life. My hips muscles have taken a beating with the progesterone injections. They're both bruised and knotted up, and the bandages have begun to rip my skin. Thankfully, the nurse gave me some gauze and silk tape to replace the bandaids. That will help a great deal. And although much of this journey is unpleasant, it will all be worth it!
Please boldly pray that the baby is healthy and that s/he will continue to develop normally. Also pray that I would keep my eyes on the Lord during this long week of waiting. My heart is not at peace right now, and your prayers will help tremendously.
May God bless you and yours! Ramona
On one hand, I am relieved that everything looks normal (for a 5 week, 6 day pregnancy, that is). We were able to see that there is one embryo sac in the uterus. Thankfully it is not an ectopic pregnancy. On the other hand, I have to admit that I am somewhat uneasy that the baby's development isn't where we thought it should be. I can't help but remember that this is similar to how we learned about my two miscarriages. In the past, either a blood test or an ultrasound showed that the baby stopped growing prematurely...and that was the end. Right now, it's too soon to tell. All I can do is pray and wait.
I'm still experiencing regular symptoms of pregnancy, so hopefully that indicates everything is right on track. Nausea, heartburn, aching body parts, insomnia, and food aversions are a integral part of my daily life. My hips muscles have taken a beating with the progesterone injections. They're both bruised and knotted up, and the bandages have begun to rip my skin. Thankfully, the nurse gave me some gauze and silk tape to replace the bandaids. That will help a great deal. And although much of this journey is unpleasant, it will all be worth it!
Please boldly pray that the baby is healthy and that s/he will continue to develop normally. Also pray that I would keep my eyes on the Lord during this long week of waiting. My heart is not at peace right now, and your prayers will help tremendously.
May God bless you and yours! Ramona
Friday, January 12, 2007
A Miracle!
Tonight I am filled with emotion as I rejoice with millions of Missourians. Just a couple of hours ago, missing children Shawn Hornbeck and Ben Ownby were found alive in suburban St. Louis! Ben was abducted four days ago and Shawn was kidnapped over four years ago. I haven't felt this much emotion in quite some time, and it's not because I'm a hormonal expectant mother. This story is personal for me.
You might remember that one of my clients, Bianca Piper, disappeared in March of 2005. For weeks, I spent time with the search and rescue teams and provided counseling for the family and volunteers. During that process, I had the opportunity to get to know Craig Akers, Shawn Hornbeck's dad. Since his son's disappearance in late 2002, Craig and his wife have devoted their lives to search and rescue missions.
Craig coordinated and led the teams that searched for Bianca. He was dedicated and knowledgeable like no one I've ever seen. As he interacted with Bianca's family, I could see the emotions of his own experience come to the surface. He expressed to me that he relived the loss of his son during every search operation. And although he had been through hell, Craig still had hope.
As a mother, I cannot imagine the agony of losing Liliana for four hours, let alone four years. It is my worst nightmare. Families of missing children suffer on so many levels, and God only knows what the children experience at the hands of their captors. After seeing the pain first hand, I will never forget what it looks like.
When I heard the news today, we were having dinner at El Nopal. I heard a woman at the table behind us say to her friends, "Did you hear? They found the boys--Ben Ownby and Shawn Hornbeck." I asked her if I heard her correctly and she confirmed it. I immediately erupted into tears. Before I knew it, I found myself sobbing uncontrollably in the middle of a crowded restaurant, with my husband and daughter looking on. I faintly remember hearing Wade explain to Liliana, "Mommy is crying because she is so happy."
I then experienced flooding waves of emotion..disbelief, relief, sadness, anger, gratitude and joy. I imagined the instant the parents heard the words, "We found your son." I saw them fall to their knees, clutching one another with trembling hands. Then I envisioned the moment each parent saw their child for the first time. I saw Craig hold Shawn in his arms after four long years. And I wept like a baby, right there in a crowd of people.
Even now, I cannot contain the tears as I consider what the boys and their families have been through. Although I try not to think about what those young men may have endured during their captivity, I annot help but speculate. That is where the sadness and anger creep in. Thankfully, however, they will have the opportunity to tell their stories, and the man who caused so much pain will face the consequences. So tonight, I wll do my best to focus on this joyous occasion and celebrate their homecoming.
I thank God that both boys were recovered and reunited with their loved ones. It is absolutely incredible that Ben and Shawn were found alive. It is rare that a missing person is located even six months after their disappearance, and four years is considered out of the question. It is obvious to me that the Lord's hand has orchestrated this glorious outcome. Praise God for this amazing miracle!
While I celebrate with the rest of our community, I also pray that Bianca and her family may experience a similar fate in the near future. I pray that Shannon (Bianca's mom) and Amber & Tiffany (her sisters) are strengthened and inspired by what happened today. Most importantly, I pray that Bianca is recovered soon.
May we all pray for the lost and rejoice for the found!
You might remember that one of my clients, Bianca Piper, disappeared in March of 2005. For weeks, I spent time with the search and rescue teams and provided counseling for the family and volunteers. During that process, I had the opportunity to get to know Craig Akers, Shawn Hornbeck's dad. Since his son's disappearance in late 2002, Craig and his wife have devoted their lives to search and rescue missions.
Craig coordinated and led the teams that searched for Bianca. He was dedicated and knowledgeable like no one I've ever seen. As he interacted with Bianca's family, I could see the emotions of his own experience come to the surface. He expressed to me that he relived the loss of his son during every search operation. And although he had been through hell, Craig still had hope.
As a mother, I cannot imagine the agony of losing Liliana for four hours, let alone four years. It is my worst nightmare. Families of missing children suffer on so many levels, and God only knows what the children experience at the hands of their captors. After seeing the pain first hand, I will never forget what it looks like.
When I heard the news today, we were having dinner at El Nopal. I heard a woman at the table behind us say to her friends, "Did you hear? They found the boys--Ben Ownby and Shawn Hornbeck." I asked her if I heard her correctly and she confirmed it. I immediately erupted into tears. Before I knew it, I found myself sobbing uncontrollably in the middle of a crowded restaurant, with my husband and daughter looking on. I faintly remember hearing Wade explain to Liliana, "Mommy is crying because she is so happy."
I then experienced flooding waves of emotion..disbelief, relief, sadness, anger, gratitude and joy. I imagined the instant the parents heard the words, "We found your son." I saw them fall to their knees, clutching one another with trembling hands. Then I envisioned the moment each parent saw their child for the first time. I saw Craig hold Shawn in his arms after four long years. And I wept like a baby, right there in a crowd of people.
Even now, I cannot contain the tears as I consider what the boys and their families have been through. Although I try not to think about what those young men may have endured during their captivity, I annot help but speculate. That is where the sadness and anger creep in. Thankfully, however, they will have the opportunity to tell their stories, and the man who caused so much pain will face the consequences. So tonight, I wll do my best to focus on this joyous occasion and celebrate their homecoming.
I thank God that both boys were recovered and reunited with their loved ones. It is absolutely incredible that Ben and Shawn were found alive. It is rare that a missing person is located even six months after their disappearance, and four years is considered out of the question. It is obvious to me that the Lord's hand has orchestrated this glorious outcome. Praise God for this amazing miracle!
While I celebrate with the rest of our community, I also pray that Bianca and her family may experience a similar fate in the near future. I pray that Shannon (Bianca's mom) and Amber & Tiffany (her sisters) are strengthened and inspired by what happened today. Most importantly, I pray that Bianca is recovered soon.
May we all pray for the lost and rejoice for the found!
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Anxiously Waiting
We found out about our pregnancy only 10 days ago, and it feels like months. Despite my best efforts to stay productive, the days seem to drag on. This morning I had blood drawn, but this particular test did not yield helpful information. I was hoping to get an HCG count (which would indicate whether or not the pregnancy is on track), but we only received the progesterone reading. The level was normal, but that is to be expected in the midst of nightly progesterone injections.
I am anxiously awaiting the ultrasound on Monday morning (which seems like next year). For some reason, I'm really needing concrete information to confirm that all is well. There have been periods of time where I haven't felt dramatic symptoms...and that's been scary. It is during those times that my fears creep in. For that reason, I would rather experience every symptom to its fullest degree than nothing at all. Sounds crazy, but it's true.
On the bright side, this process is truly keeping me close to the Lord. With few assurances from doctors and blood tests, I am constantly compelled to seek God's wisdom and rest in His promises.
Please pray that I would have a peace about this pregnancy. More importantly, please pray for the healthy development of this baby throughout the pregnancy.
Bless you! Ramona
I am anxiously awaiting the ultrasound on Monday morning (which seems like next year). For some reason, I'm really needing concrete information to confirm that all is well. There have been periods of time where I haven't felt dramatic symptoms...and that's been scary. It is during those times that my fears creep in. For that reason, I would rather experience every symptom to its fullest degree than nothing at all. Sounds crazy, but it's true.
On the bright side, this process is truly keeping me close to the Lord. With few assurances from doctors and blood tests, I am constantly compelled to seek God's wisdom and rest in His promises.
Please pray that I would have a peace about this pregnancy. More importantly, please pray for the healthy development of this baby throughout the pregnancy.
Bless you! Ramona
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Welcome to our Humble Abode
We would like to officially welcome our newest member of the family, Smooch the goldfish! Smooch joined us on Monday night and has been an entertaining addition to our household. Liliana loves to watch the fish and tell us whether it's swimming, kissing or sleeping. Since Smooch lives in a fishbowl (a very cool one, I might add), we'll have to change the water often to ensure that it has a long life. Other than that, it's a fairly low maintenance pet.
I'm a dog lover at heart. I'm really looking forward to the day we are able to replace our beloved Fury, the miniature pinscher. We lost Fury in the summer of 2005, and we miss her dearly! For sanity's sake, we've decided to wait until our children are old enough to appreciate and help care for an animal.
So welcome to Smooch, and welcome to our baby in September!
I'm a dog lover at heart. I'm really looking forward to the day we are able to replace our beloved Fury, the miniature pinscher. We lost Fury in the summer of 2005, and we miss her dearly! For sanity's sake, we've decided to wait until our children are old enough to appreciate and help care for an animal.
So welcome to Smooch, and welcome to our baby in September!
Monday, January 08, 2007
Fearfully and Wonderfully Made
Today our baby is the size of a sesame seed, looking more like a little tadpole than a human. S/he is multiplying furiously. In just one short week, the embryo will grow ten-fold to the size of a lentil bean. Believe it or not, the brain is developing and the tiny heart begins to beat this week. Amazing how God works!
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart..." (Jeremiah 1:4-5)
For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. (Psalm 139:13-14)
Thanks for your continued prayers and well-wishes!
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart..." (Jeremiah 1:4-5)
For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. (Psalm 139:13-14)
Thanks for your continued prayers and well-wishes!
Sunday, January 07, 2007
It's the Real Deal
The debilitating exhaustion has officially set in. This afternoon, I fell asleep for over an hour and could not wake up to respond to Liliana. I could hear her getting up from her nap and moving around her room, but I could not move a single muscle. I felt like I had been drugged!
I remember being very tired with my other pregnancies, but not to this degree. When I was carrying Liliana, I worked full time and had to take a quick nap right after lunch every day (usually in my car, of all places). Now it feels like I'll literally pass out if I don't lie down.
Wade's somewhat concerned about it, and rightly so. He heard Liliana today and went in to get her before I could muster up enough energy to move a finger. He wonders if he'll come home from work and find Liliana cooking dinner (okay, maybe not that extreme--just running around the house while I'm conked out). I'm sure I'll rise to the challenge when he's at work. It's just another necessary adjustment of this wonderful process.
Change of subject: Today our family was on the prayer list for our corporate prayer at church. That means one of our pastors prayed for us by name during each service. It was so beautiful (and just a bit strange) to hear him pray for our pregnancy and the health of our unborn child... along with Liliana's spiritual needs. Everything felt so real all of the sudden. Also, so many supportive friends offered hugs and words of congratulations. It was one of the sweetest Sunday mornings we've ever had.
May you have special moments with family and the Father on this day, the Lord's day. Ramona
I remember being very tired with my other pregnancies, but not to this degree. When I was carrying Liliana, I worked full time and had to take a quick nap right after lunch every day (usually in my car, of all places). Now it feels like I'll literally pass out if I don't lie down.
Wade's somewhat concerned about it, and rightly so. He heard Liliana today and went in to get her before I could muster up enough energy to move a finger. He wonders if he'll come home from work and find Liliana cooking dinner (okay, maybe not that extreme--just running around the house while I'm conked out). I'm sure I'll rise to the challenge when he's at work. It's just another necessary adjustment of this wonderful process.
Change of subject: Today our family was on the prayer list for our corporate prayer at church. That means one of our pastors prayed for us by name during each service. It was so beautiful (and just a bit strange) to hear him pray for our pregnancy and the health of our unborn child... along with Liliana's spiritual needs. Everything felt so real all of the sudden. Also, so many supportive friends offered hugs and words of congratulations. It was one of the sweetest Sunday mornings we've ever had.
May you have special moments with family and the Father on this day, the Lord's day. Ramona
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Making Progress
Liliana has been learning to stay in her crib the past couple of days. In fact, we had no monkey business last night or this morning. This afternoon, however, I discovered Liliana creating mischief in her room after her nap. Oh well, two out of three ain't bad!
As I write this, Liliana is using a plastic container to maneuver and climb to the top of her kitchen set. Each time she falls down, she laughs hysterically and yells, "Roll over, roll over!" At no point during the climbing or falling has she dropped her treasured sippy cup of milk from her hand. By the way, Liliana has been under Wade's "supervision" during all of these antics. So much for Daddy Day Care!
Still pregnant, still happy! Ramona
As I write this, Liliana is using a plastic container to maneuver and climb to the top of her kitchen set. Each time she falls down, she laughs hysterically and yells, "Roll over, roll over!" At no point during the climbing or falling has she dropped her treasured sippy cup of milk from her hand. By the way, Liliana has been under Wade's "supervision" during all of these antics. So much for Daddy Day Care!
Still pregnant, still happy! Ramona
Friday, January 05, 2007
Little Eyes
Little Eyes Upon You
There are little eyes upon you
and they're watching night and day.
There are little ears that quickly
take in every word you say.
There are little hands all eager
to do anything you do;
And a little girl who's dreaming
of the day she'll be like you.
There's a wide-eyed little girl
who believes you're always right;
and her eyes are always opened,
and she watches day and night.
You are setting an example
every day in all you do;
For the little girl who's waiting
to grow up to be like you.
1997 Kimberly Sedlacek
There are little eyes upon you
and they're watching night and day.
There are little ears that quickly
take in every word you say.
There are little hands all eager
to do anything you do;
And a little girl who's dreaming
of the day she'll be like you.
There's a wide-eyed little girl
who believes you're always right;
and her eyes are always opened,
and she watches day and night.
You are setting an example
every day in all you do;
For the little girl who's waiting
to grow up to be like you.
1997 Kimberly Sedlacek
Rising to the Challenge
A quick update on our little climber: I put the child-proof doorknob cover on the inside of her door last night. Although it didn't keep Liliana from climbing out of her crib, it did prevent her from roaming the upstairs. This morning, the monitor picked up sounds of Liliana moving around her room as soon as she escaped...so she had very little time for positive reinforcement before I went in to get her. Since we only have stuffed animals (no toys) in her room, I have a feeling she'll get bored and realize there isn't much reason to flee from the her crib. Time will tell! Thanks to those who offered suggestions and insight about our new challenge!
Thursday, January 04, 2007
My 2-Year-Old Monkey
Thank the Lord! Things continue to go smoothly with our pregnancy. My HCG more than doubled from 67 to 179, which is a sign that all is well. I return on to St. Luke's on the 11th for more bloodwork, and my 1st ultrasound is the 15th. At this point, there is no reason to suspect twins. Of course, anything is possible...but the hormone levels do not suggest multiples. We are so thankful for a single viable pregnancy; twins would be icing on the cake.
Liliana has presented us with a new challenge the past two days. She discovered how to climb out of her crib about a year ago, and has now figured out how to open her bedroom door. Until yesterday, we managed to prevent her from climbing out (believe it or not, she simply obeyed our request to stay in the crib). Now that she can turn the doorknob and let herself out of the bedroom, a whole new world of wonder has opened up.
Yesterday she came into our bedroom and woke me up from our afternoon nap. I didn't hear the little rascal until she climbed into bed with me. This morning, I noticed the slightest peep on the monitor and the next thing I knew--she was in our room. This afternoon, I saw her tiny frame in the doorway as I was lying in bed resting. I am concerned because she is so adept at climbing and opening her door that she escapes without a sound. She's like a little monkey! We've closed the gate at the top of the stairs and the doors to the other rooms upstairs, but eventually she'll find a way to get into mischief. And I've been so exhausted lately, that I'm afraid one day I won't hear her until she has created serious mayhem.
So far, discipline doesn't seem to phase her. I'm hoping the excitement of this new adventure will wear off, and she'll decide that the punishment is enough of a deterrant. (That's what happened when she initially began climbing out of her crib.) I'm also thinking about a child-proof doorknob for the inside of her room. At least she'd be contained to her bedroom once she is up and at 'em. That way, I'd definitely hear her on the monitor more quickly. Anyone have suggestions?
Daddy is working late, and the native is getting restless. Time for some toddler antics. More tomorrow!
God bless you! Ramona
Liliana has presented us with a new challenge the past two days. She discovered how to climb out of her crib about a year ago, and has now figured out how to open her bedroom door. Until yesterday, we managed to prevent her from climbing out (believe it or not, she simply obeyed our request to stay in the crib). Now that she can turn the doorknob and let herself out of the bedroom, a whole new world of wonder has opened up.
Yesterday she came into our bedroom and woke me up from our afternoon nap. I didn't hear the little rascal until she climbed into bed with me. This morning, I noticed the slightest peep on the monitor and the next thing I knew--she was in our room. This afternoon, I saw her tiny frame in the doorway as I was lying in bed resting. I am concerned because she is so adept at climbing and opening her door that she escapes without a sound. She's like a little monkey! We've closed the gate at the top of the stairs and the doors to the other rooms upstairs, but eventually she'll find a way to get into mischief. And I've been so exhausted lately, that I'm afraid one day I won't hear her until she has created serious mayhem.
So far, discipline doesn't seem to phase her. I'm hoping the excitement of this new adventure will wear off, and she'll decide that the punishment is enough of a deterrant. (That's what happened when she initially began climbing out of her crib.) I'm also thinking about a child-proof doorknob for the inside of her room. At least she'd be contained to her bedroom once she is up and at 'em. That way, I'd definitely hear her on the monitor more quickly. Anyone have suggestions?
Daddy is working late, and the native is getting restless. Time for some toddler antics. More tomorrow!
God bless you! Ramona
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Hello, Jesus
The reality of our pregnancy is beginning to set in. I am so grateful for this long-awaited blessing, and I really want to enjoy every moment. Yet, I must admit that I'm already starting to feel some anxiety. We have a long road ahead of us, as the baby is only the size of the period at the end of this sentence. Having lost two of our three pregnancies to miscarriage, it's hard to sit back and relax. I guess I'll just have to take it one day at a time, remembering to trust that every little detail is in God's hands.
My mind is clearer today. Yesterday was a fog due to a mix of exhaustion and the excitement of sharing our wonderful news. I finally got some sleep last night, thanks to overwhelming my senses with three episodes of 24. (We're now in season two of this crazy, addictive series!) Wade fell victim to late-night M&Ms and was up very late. I think he went to Wal-mart at 11:00pm. What a nut!
I started drinking ginger ale to help with the nausea. I don't know how much it really quiets the tummy, but it sure helps me forget that I've given up my beloved Diet Cherry Coke.
Oh, the sweetest thing just happened! Liliana accidentally spilled her bowl of Total cereal. She began crying and ran to me saying, "Help, Mommy!" I told her that Mommy loves her and she didn't need to cry, but that it's a good idea to say we're sorry when we have an accident. She then picked up the phone receiver, held it to her ear and said, "Hello, Jesus. Hello, Jesus. Sorry [for spilling] Total." I hugged her sweet little body and reminded her that God loves and forgives us.
Thank you, Lord, for children and the precious moments they bring!
My mind is clearer today. Yesterday was a fog due to a mix of exhaustion and the excitement of sharing our wonderful news. I finally got some sleep last night, thanks to overwhelming my senses with three episodes of 24. (We're now in season two of this crazy, addictive series!) Wade fell victim to late-night M&Ms and was up very late. I think he went to Wal-mart at 11:00pm. What a nut!
I started drinking ginger ale to help with the nausea. I don't know how much it really quiets the tummy, but it sure helps me forget that I've given up my beloved Diet Cherry Coke.
Oh, the sweetest thing just happened! Liliana accidentally spilled her bowl of Total cereal. She began crying and ran to me saying, "Help, Mommy!" I told her that Mommy loves her and she didn't need to cry, but that it's a good idea to say we're sorry when we have an accident. She then picked up the phone receiver, held it to her ear and said, "Hello, Jesus. Hello, Jesus. Sorry [for spilling] Total." I hugged her sweet little body and reminded her that God loves and forgives us.
Thank you, Lord, for children and the precious moments they bring!
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
God is SO Good!
Wade and I are thrilled to share that we are expecting a child in September! We rejoice and thank God for this wonderful miracle. Praise the Lord, Halleluiah! We feel so blessed!
The pregnancy looks wonderful right now. A blood test Thursday will tell us how the baby is developing and may give insight about the possibility of twins. My HCG level was 67 this morning (anything over 25 signifies a healthy pregnancy). The level should double by Thursday morning. If the number quadruples, we will suspect a multiple pregnancy. Right now, we just thank the Lord for answering our prayers!
Please continue to pray for baby's healthy development. The next 8 weeks are critical. Hopefully the Folgard, Aspirin and Progesterone will help correct the problems that led to my previous miscarriages. And we all know that prayer is more powerful than medication!
Thank you so much for your support through the IVF process and your continued prayers for our unborn child!
May God bless you and yours,
Expectant mother, Ramona
P.S. Feel free to leave comments. Don't be shy! This is a time of celebration!
The pregnancy looks wonderful right now. A blood test Thursday will tell us how the baby is developing and may give insight about the possibility of twins. My HCG level was 67 this morning (anything over 25 signifies a healthy pregnancy). The level should double by Thursday morning. If the number quadruples, we will suspect a multiple pregnancy. Right now, we just thank the Lord for answering our prayers!
Please continue to pray for baby's healthy development. The next 8 weeks are critical. Hopefully the Folgard, Aspirin and Progesterone will help correct the problems that led to my previous miscarriages. And we all know that prayer is more powerful than medication!
Thank you so much for your support through the IVF process and your continued prayers for our unborn child!
May God bless you and yours,
Expectant mother, Ramona
P.S. Feel free to leave comments. Don't be shy! This is a time of celebration!
Patience is a Virtue
I was up all night with serious nausea and racing thoughts. I just couldn't get my brain or my stomach to shut down. This is the fourth night of restless sleep, and the lack of rest is catching up with me. Everything seems foggy, and I lack my usual pep. But all it takes is wonderful news to fire up my endorphins for the day.
My blood test was at St. Luke's this morning. Right now, I'm doing everything I can to take my mind off this seemingly endless waiting. Wade is at work, so we are unable to be together when we hear the test results. The best we can do is a three-way call to the MD office when the time comes. Hopefully we will have reason to celebrate when he returns home.
This has been a very sweet morning of quality time with Liliana. I am so thankful for her little personality. What a joy, especially during tough times. I am also grateful for our parents, who have continued to check on us throughout this process. And thanks to you for being with us and supporting us through your comments, cards, calls and emails. God bless you!
In His abiding love, Ramona
My blood test was at St. Luke's this morning. Right now, I'm doing everything I can to take my mind off this seemingly endless waiting. Wade is at work, so we are unable to be together when we hear the test results. The best we can do is a three-way call to the MD office when the time comes. Hopefully we will have reason to celebrate when he returns home.
This has been a very sweet morning of quality time with Liliana. I am so thankful for her little personality. What a joy, especially during tough times. I am also grateful for our parents, who have continued to check on us throughout this process. And thanks to you for being with us and supporting us through your comments, cards, calls and emails. God bless you!
In His abiding love, Ramona
Monday, January 01, 2007
Holding On
Start with nausea. Add headaches, restlessness, mild anxiety and extreme emotionality. That's a rough sketch of my internal state today. If this isn't pregnancy, I don't know what is. I'm not used to all of this drama, but I'll gladly accept it, especially if I'm suffering for a good cause.
I'm wishing I could do a pregnancy test right here and now. I feel pretty certain that we will be rejoicing soon, but the days of not knowing are weighing on me. I know, I know...have patience and trust in the Lord. That's what my heart tells me, but my mind is playing tricks on me and the rest of my body is playing along. I'm running out of distractions. Just one more day of waiting for a positive result, and then hopefully 36 weeks of waiting to meet our next child!
Please pray that I feel comfort and peace until the results are in. And pray that I glorify and praise the Lord no matter what happens.
I'm wishing I could do a pregnancy test right here and now. I feel pretty certain that we will be rejoicing soon, but the days of not knowing are weighing on me. I know, I know...have patience and trust in the Lord. That's what my heart tells me, but my mind is playing tricks on me and the rest of my body is playing along. I'm running out of distractions. Just one more day of waiting for a positive result, and then hopefully 36 weeks of waiting to meet our next child!
Please pray that I feel comfort and peace until the results are in. And pray that I glorify and praise the Lord no matter what happens.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)